Post AN MRI

[Brendalu]

My surgery was on July 28,2005.  Since then I have had five MRI's.  Some contrast.  I have had my veins blown out (I don't have good ones)  I have gotten sick in the darn machine and I am worse off now than I was over a year ago.  I had perfect hearing in both ears and no buzzing, ringing or roaring.  I also didn't have major depression, panic attacks or anxiety disorders.  I took one Aleve a day for arthritis.  Now I take, three pills a day for depression, one for headaches and a couple of more I don't remember what they are for.  I choke on almost everything including water.  I haven't had a good night's sleep in forever.  My husband wakes me from nightmares and yelling in my sleep nightly.  (He also isn't getting any sleep)  I have my second barium swallow test next Monday.  I see a head doctor, a physical terrorist (someone gave me that from the forum and it is great) and a therapist.  I feel like all I do anymore is go from one specialist to the next and get one more pill to take and don't feel any better.  I realize that I am probably just having a pitty party for myself, but I really wish I hadn't done the surgery.  I fell before the surgery and now I break bones when I fall!  I don't want to have the follow up MRI next week or ever again.  Am I crazy or just paranoid?  Has anyone or everyone felt this way?
I feel exhausted and broken and can't find my sense of humor anywhere.  I guess it must have been behind my ear.
   Brenda

[pattibobatti]

Good morning Brenda,
                 Hope your day starts off better!!! There seems to be soooooo much going on with you, I bet you sometimes  don't know where to turn. Don't have any great answers but  I hope you can find some relief soon.  Take care and be good to yourself today!!!!!!                Pattibobatti

[Brendalu]

Pattibobatti,

Once again, thank you!  I had part of my barium swallow test on Monday and the machine broke down in the middle of it!!!  I have to do it over again, next Monday.  Tomorrow I have my annual colonoscopy....................I have so much fun I can't stand it!  Let's hope that doesn't break down in the middle.  I picked up my new meds plus a huge shot of Valium.  That should do something.  Do you remember the song "Mellow Yellow" ?  That's me.  I am going to smile a crooked smile today if I have to tape it up to do it!!
Hugs and good thoughts,
BrendaO

[Pembo]

 Brenda, Stay strong and vent away about your troubles. We are here to listen.

[Brendalu]

I'll try hard not to vent too much or too often.  I so appreciate all of you and finally realizing that I am not alone in this.  I really felt like the odd duck with nowhere to turn or to figure out what is going on when the doctors just look and say, it will be better, give it a few months.  Thanks to all.
BrendaO

[pattibobatti]

Hi
    It's funny how I look forward to spending time at this web site. People with An's aren't  hanging around everywhere and it does feel good to associate with others who understand.  The good news is that there IS somewhere to turn to and I don't feel so alone anymore!
    Really hope the new meds start to work for you...What are you taking now?
    Take care
     Pattibobatti

[Brendalu]

Pattibobatti,

Valium, and a humungo dose of Prozac.  One calms me down the other picks me up.  Now I have to figure out how to control the energy................I still have no balance and I am bouncing off the rubber walls.............  A little less of something ....maybe.  I don't know it kind of feels good to not care that I am not up to par.  I can't remember whose par anyway.  My mempory certainly isn't what it once was.  Thank you for caring.  I'm not sure that this is what I really want to feel like.  The therapist ought to have a field day!! 
Always,
BrendaO ((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))

[Static]

Brenda,
Everything you said, I feel like I am right there with you.  I get so annoyed when the doctors just look at you and say, it takes time, or you should be feeling better by now, and the fact that I'm not he just sort of brushes aside until I press and I don't think anyone really knows what to do.  I've given up with doctors for a bit now, but will go back again when I get more patience.  Hope things go better for you.
Karen

[Brendalu]

Karen,
It has done me more good to read that others have my problems and pains and that they have had the same problem with doctors.  I printed out several threads and faxed them to my ENT and neurosurgeon.  I think more public awareness is so needed.  I'm always happy when someone writes that they are having a speedy recovery, but I don't think that is the norm and I do think doctors try to make you think it is.  I think each person responds to each treatment, surgery, therapy in their own way and I also think that doctors really need to put each patient in his or her own category.  I hate labels and suggestions that I am not trying hard enough.  I am trying as hard as my body and brain will allow.  I'm off my soap box for now.  Enjoy your evening.  I'm going to try to give myself reflexology to see if I can make myself feel better.
BrendaO(((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))