General Category > AN Issues
Hurt
squirrellee:
I was diagnosed with a 2.6cm NA that was compressing by brain stem. I had noticed I was having problems with headaches, dizziness and hearing loss when my NA was discovered. I was told that it needed to be remover right away and that I probably would lose my hearing totally and that I would probably suffer some facial paralysis that would be sparadic and temporary. I had the surgery and my nightmares started. I woke from my surgery to discover I had almost bitten the whole side of my tongue off and they informed me that was due to me seizing during surgery because I suffered a heart attack due to the surgeon pumping too much fluid into my lungs. They took the breathing tube out about 5 days after surgery but after spending all day in panic trying to tell the nurses I wasn't getting enough oxygen they finally listened to me and did an emergency reinsertion of a breathing tube. I was on that for another 4 to 5 days wide awake trying not to fight against it. When I finally got off the breathing tube and out of ICU, I had already gone through ten days of hell and it still was only the beginning. When it came time for me to finally go home, the nurse removed the stitches in the back of my head and neck so I would not have to travel back to have them removed later. I was getting dressed to go home when I turned and saw my Fathers white face and shock on my husbands face as they told me that I had a gaping hole in the base of my skull. My husband ran and got the nurse who called the doctor. The doctor never came to look and just told them it was ok to let me go home that way. My primary care doctor was shocked when he saw it a few days later as I am diabetic also and he could not believe that the stitches where taken out so soon and left that way. Now I have a huge crater in the back of my head/neck area. I also still suffer from paralysis of my face 2 years later and have a pacemaker as a result of the heart damage. For the biggest hurt of my story, I am (was) a professial singer and due to the breathing tube having to be shoved down my already swollen throat, my vocal cord was paralyzed. I now have problems breathing, swallowing let alone singing. I am hurt emotionally, I am angry, I feel so ugly!! I isolate now, I am not the same and an NA has ruined my life. Sometimes I wish it had just taken my life. I am sorry to vent but I have kept all this inside me for so long.
Sam Rush:
Your story is the worst I have heard. I hope you find a way to get your life back and cope with what happened to you.
Forgive me for asking, but as a AN pt. and a medical doctor, I am really curious as to where you had your surgery??
Stay on this forum, you will find a lot of supportive people here.
Obita:
Dear squirrellee:
I am so very sorry about all of your complications and very glad you found us.
Do you have a supportive doctor for your follow up? There are facial procedures etc...that you should
know about. I also hope you are seeing someone for the emotional part of this journey.
Please, like Sam said, stay on here. You need us, and we need you!!
Kathy
matti:
I am so sorry all this has happened to you and as Obita and Sam have said, please stay on this forum. There is a wealth of info and support available here, so please don't hesitate to ask.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Hugs,
Cheryl
linnilue:
I am at a lsos for words. Your story is so tragic. I have had horrific ramifications from radiation damage after the radiosurgery but your stoy tops anything I have experienced or read. i really feel for you. I know how desperate you feel. I can remember just hoping to live long enough to see my first grandchild's birth. I wanted him to know that I was there and that I love him, even if I wasn't going to be in his life for long. I truly thought I was going to die and I think the doctors did too but didn't like to say. I lost 65 pounds because I was nauseated day and night. My whole body would shivver and shake. I had to use a walker just to move around but basically spent 1 1/2 years in bed. I couldn't go anywhere because of the vertigo. I didn't see the inside of a store for 2 years, no lie. I had to be driven everywhere. I lost all my independence. I lost all my friends. Noone wanted to deal with someone with something they knew nothing about. If I had had cancer they all woul have understood that better. I had a great job doing political fundraising and had conversations with some of the most influential politicians in this country. But it was over in a flash. I can barely organize my own life let alone campaign for a major political race. I'd love to because it's in my blood but my body won't let me. I know exactly how you feel. I do have a psychologist that I see once a week and that really helps me alot. I am getting a bit better but it is a loooooong road. I have to say tht once I saw my randson for the first time, I wanted to live longer than that day. I think his presence has brought me the joy I needed to feel that life was good even when it was oh so bad. I wish you well. I know how much you hurt and I wish that I could help you myself. The people on this site are a great source of guidance and are here when noone else is. Email anytime. Holly
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