Author Topic: I think a friend of mine just commited suicide  (Read 3806 times)

Nani

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 60
  • It's not rocket science. Just brain surgery.
I think a friend of mine just commited suicide
« on: September 28, 2009, 01:02:47 pm »
  My husband and I have an old friend who lost his job and his daughter (to his ex-wife) a little over a year ago.  He moved to Texas and got involved in drugs.  Dealing and using.  His ex won't let him see their daughter anymore (understandably).  I have been trying to encourage him to get help.  I have been trying to be there the best I can right now.  He wouldn't tell us where he is exactly because he doesn't want us to see him messed up.

  He has been talking about suicide for a while now.  A couple of hours ago he started texting me.  He told me he was going to do something stupid.  After a few messages back and forth, I found out he was texting me from the ledge of a roof.  I called my husband and we have both been texting him like mad.  It's been about 35 minutes since I have heard from him and 25 since my husband has.

  He can only text from his phone, no calls.  I don't know where he is. Just Texas.  Everyone I knew that knew him and might be able to help has turned their backs on him and refuse to have anything to do with him anymore.  I still remember when he was a good guy who used to help anyone out that he could and loved his daughter more than anything.  I still believe that good guy is there.  I refuse to give up.  Everyone hits hard times.

  I am sitting here trembling.  I am waiting for another text, praying it will come.  Fighting back tears.  I am trying not to freak out.  I don't know what else to do.


EDIT:

I was on the phone with 911 when he beeped in with a new text.  I am trying to talk him into going to a rehab center.  Told him I would help him find one.  He keeps saying no but I still offer every once-in-a-while.  Please keep him in your thoughts.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2009, 01:15:49 pm by Nani »
- AN surgery 3-17-09. 3.8 x 5.1cm tumor.  1 month in the hospital and a couple in ST, OT and PT.

*People are always going to be behind you telling you you can't.  The important thing is to turn around and say 'watch me'.

saralynn143

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1822
  • Sarey Sarey Quite Contrary
    • MVD diary
Re: I think a friend of mine just commited suicide
« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2009, 01:26:40 pm »
Wow Nani. Sure you have my prayers. If you know what cell phone provider he has, maybe they can pinpoint his location?

Sara
MVD for hemifacial spasm 6/2/08
left side facial paresis
 12/100 facial function - 7/29/08
 46 - 11/25/08
 53 - 05/12/09
left side SSD approx. 4 weeks
 low-frequency hearing loss; 85% speech recognition 7/28/08
1.8 gram thin profile platinum eyelid weight 8/12/08
Fitted for scleral lens 5/9/13

Nani

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 60
  • It's not rocket science. Just brain surgery.
Re: I think a friend of mine just commited suicide
« Reply #2 on: September 28, 2009, 01:38:58 pm »
New strategy.  Trying to get him to tell me his phone carrier or better yet, location.  I hate to do this but I am calling the police.  He won't take any help, find help and is a danger to himself and others.
- AN surgery 3-17-09. 3.8 x 5.1cm tumor.  1 month in the hospital and a couple in ST, OT and PT.

*People are always going to be behind you telling you you can't.  The important thing is to turn around and say 'watch me'.

CHD63

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3235
  • Life is good again!!
Re: I think a friend of mine just commited suicide
« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2009, 02:47:02 pm »
Nani ......

Thoughts and prayers for you and your friend.

It brings back some painful memories for me.  Many years ago I was asked to help a woman who had just had her 4th child and was simply overwhelmed with the responsibility.  We talked for many hours.  One night she called to say she had just taken a bottle of Miltowns (an old tranquilizer).  The panic I felt was incredible until I was able to reach help for her ...... fortunately in time.

Let us know how he does.

Clarice
Right MVD for trigeminal neuralgia, 1994, Pittsburgh, PA
Left retrosigmoid 2.6 cm AN removal, February, 2008, Duke U
Tumor regrew to 1.3 cm in February, 2011
Translab AN removal, May, 2011 at HEI, Friedman & Schwartz
Oticon Ponto Pro abutment implant at same time; processor added August, 2011

Jim Scott

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7241
  • 1943-2020 Please keep Jim's family in your hearts
Re: I think a friend of mine just commited suicide
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2009, 03:01:16 pm »
Nani ~

I can only pray that the police can find your friend before he takes his own life.  Psychiatrists say that those who tell someone that they're on the verge of committing suicide really want to be stopped - or at least assured that somebody cares if they live or die.  You're doing the best that you can - and I pray you're successful.  At least you're trying and do care about this hurting and confused person who probably doesn't believe there is a reason to live, but wants to believe there is.  You may be instrumental in saving this man's life today.  If not, knowing that you reached out to him and tried with all your might to stop him from committing suicide should comfort you somewhat.  You've done the right thing. 

Jim
4.5 cm AN diagnosed 5/06.  Retrosigmoid surgery 6/06.  Follow-up FSR completed 10/06.  Tumor shrinkage & necrosis noted on last MRI.  Life is good. 

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is.  The way we cope with it is what makes the difference.

Nani

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 60
  • It's not rocket science. Just brain surgery.
Re: I think a friend of mine just commited suicide
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2009, 03:32:27 pm »
I finally got my friend from to give me his address.  He threatened to kill his ex.  I called the cops and gave his first and last name, description, dob, phone number.

 

They ask me what the house looks like. What is the ex's last name, #, address.  I told you what I know.  Fix it!
- AN surgery 3-17-09. 3.8 x 5.1cm tumor.  1 month in the hospital and a couple in ST, OT and PT.

*People are always going to be behind you telling you you can't.  The important thing is to turn around and say 'watch me'.

SML

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 204
  • If wishes were like horses, we would ride.
Re: I think a friend of mine just commited suicide
« Reply #6 on: September 28, 2009, 04:00:39 pm »
Wow Nani, you sure have had a lot to deal with lately. I pray all goes well for you, your family and your troubled friend. I hope he can get the help he needs. You more than likely have saved his life today.

Scarlett
SML(Scarlett)-Massachusetts
1.5 cm x 2.5 cm Cystic AN - Right side
Retrosigmoid 3/18/09 at MGH in Boston,MA.
Dr. Barker - Neurosurgeon, MGH - Dr. Lee - Neuro-Otology, MEEI
no facial issues, SSD right side, balance issues to work on.
Outstanding Surgeons, I'm very happy with the results.

Nani

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 60
  • It's not rocket science. Just brain surgery.
Re: I think a friend of mine just commited suicide
« Reply #7 on: September 28, 2009, 04:46:38 pm »
I called the police on him.  I feel so guilty, but what else could I do?
- AN surgery 3-17-09. 3.8 x 5.1cm tumor.  1 month in the hospital and a couple in ST, OT and PT.

*People are always going to be behind you telling you you can't.  The important thing is to turn around and say 'watch me'.

4cm in Pacific Northwest

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1324
Re: I think a friend of mine just commited suicide
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2009, 05:29:18 pm »
I called the police on him.  I feel so guilty, but what else could I do?

Nani,

You did the right thing.

You have way too much on your plate as it is - at the moment. You knew when a dicey situation was too difficult to handle and called the authorities. It is my sincerest hope that you have possibly saved a mother and child from domestic violence... that could otherwise be very tragic.

You also need to do what is necessary to protect your little family. If you feel that this friend could be of ANY threat to you (or your family)- you ALSO need to take action with the police.

Sadly economic downturn, marriage break up, illegal drug involvement- these are a bad combination.

You have done what you can to help this friend...

Because he has already made threats to do harm (and he is possibly totally strung out on drugs) do NOT let him approach you and the family -nor answer the door if he calls. Contact the police immediately if he does.

Trust me- you have done the best thing you could have done.

Do NOT feel guilty! You are not the one with the problem here- he is.

Make an exact record of all the texts (your cell server provider will have this also) plus the time you called the police noting the time and day. If you still feel compelled to help wait until he has gone to a de-tox rehab and that a qualified person tells you it is actually safe to speak with him.

HUGS.

DHM
« Last Edit: September 29, 2009, 02:50:47 am by 4cm in Pacific Northwest »
4cm Left, 08/22/07 R/S 11+ hr surgery Stanford U, Dr. Robert Jackler, Dr. Griffith Harsh, Canadian fellow Assist. Dr. Sumit Agrawal. SSD, 3/6 on HB facial scale, stick-on-eyeweight worked, 95% eye function@ 6 months. In neuromuscular facial retraining. Balance regained! Recent MRI -tumor receded!