ANA Discussion Forum
Post-Treatment => Cognitive/Emotional Issues => Topic started by: CROOKEDSMILE on January 09, 2009, 04:08:16 pm
Am I the only one? I get so tired of my eye that is dry and won't blink and I get tired of throwing up on food since my swallowing was paralyzed and still weak. I get tired of the headaches. Get tired of the paralyzed face, etc. Some days I just don't have any tolerance for stupidity. I drove through for a quick snack with my 3 year old today and they forgot my napkins which I loudly proclaimed inside my car to a 3 year who I didn't think was really listening......"they must have been raised in a barn if they don't think that I need a napkin with my food" then they forgot my straw............(facial paralysis,,,,dribble,,,,driving,,,,,no straw! Are you kidding? I was just ranting and raving in the car and finally my 3 year old little boy said...." Mom, just chill out and eat your dumb food." It shut me up really quick when I realized that he was really listening to me act like a fool. Some days I just don't have it in me to DEAL with people. Again......am I the only one?
No you are most definitely not the only one. It is fatiguing to say the least to put up with chronic problems. It takes a great deal of energy and sometimes the only way to deal with it is by being angry. I pound it out by running and sometimes by crying. You have every right to feel the way you do. I hope it gets better for you, I really do.
And yes, it's amazing what those little ears hear, isn't it? But he is learning by example what a strong person you are. When he gets older he will remember and appreciate what you had to go through. And maybe stay away from the drive-thru's for a while??
You certainly have a lot to deal with and getting weary of doing so is hardly unusual. I've often thought that I would never have handled the more complex AN problems as well as folks like you have. I had a relatively problem-free surgical/radiation experience and I still complained! My involvement in this website and the forums has made it crystal clear that I have nothing worth complaining about, so I don't. However, you do and although you aren't complaining, you are impatient with stupidity and incompetence, as you have every right to be. Ranting and raving are allowed. :)
That your 3-year-old was paying attention and told you to 'chill out' is a reminder that our children watch us more than we realize and we do pass our reactions and attitudes on to them in some cases. I recall that when my parents were upset with something or someone other than me, it made me nervous anyway because I sensed they were not really in control and that stressed me, long before I knew the word or it's meaning. However, I doubt you rant and rave all that often and of course, you have justification for doing so. I can only hope and pray that your various issue are resolved, soon.
I get it...yes it is all consumming sometimes. This AN altered our lives and continues to do so daily. It is good to share...this forum really seems to helps. Know that you are not alone. cate
Sometimes I think I am losing my mind.......it spins in a thousand different directions......health....finances....relationships....inability to cope.....worry and concerns.....unable to do things I want to do......the physical constraints this AN has put on me.....headaches,balance problems,and so much more.......I can't seem to separate things into proper perspective..........I jumble it all up in one BIG hassle. Then depression sets in......not good. I feel out of control....alone in my dilema......and I know I'm not. I have two very loving and capable sons.....grandchildren....friends and this forum.......thank God.
Hey are ya pregnant? When I was pregnant I had no patience.
haha I read your other post. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Yeah Michelle. 4 weeks along. Maybe that is why I was losing it on that poor guy at Taco Bell. I just took the preggie test a couple of days ago and my husband and I stared at it for about an hour making sure we were reading it right..........SHOCK@ We would not have made a very good pregnancy test commercial/advertisement for tv! hee,hee. We turned the thinga-ma-jiggy upside down, sideways, right side up and then would leave the room and come back to see if it had changed, etc. Pretty comical.
Now we couldn't be more happy but to get pregnant while faithfully taking birth control was bit of a shocker! My husband said it must have been an immaculate conception since my sex drive bit the dust after surgery! I guess I am just one FERTILE MYRTLE.
Okay Michelle.........maybe I would be better off if I were pregnant......but at 68 and no man it seems a bit iffy.When I was young and having babies it was the best......My husband and I welcomed them.......3 wonderful boys......what fun! Now the pleasures of being a grandmother.....what a joy! Certainly all better than this AN situation......husband gone since 1995.....children grown.......still got the grand kids though. Gotta muddle through..........Thanks for the laugh!
What Judy said. Times two!