ANA Discussion Forum
Post-Treatment => Cognitive/Emotional Issues => Topic started by: MDemisay on February 17, 2012, 04:20:46 pm
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Hi all,
Would anyone care to comment here? I am a worrier, when I am worried I tend to wake up very early in the morning sometimes at 5:30, sometimes earlier.
Anyway, you know when you are dreaming you can't get control of your dreams! So I wake up in the morning get up and try to spend the rest of the time rationalizing the crazy thoughts away. I have been doing this for 3 weeks now, it's getting exhausting.
For the past 3 weeks I've been thinking of shrinking "Irv" and in the morning when I don't have a filter (before I wake up) I go through these elaborate doomsday scenarios.
Is there a way I can stop this?
Thoughts and comments will be appreciated!
Mike
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Mike ~
I'm sorry to learn about this problem you're dealing with.
Frankly, it appears as if you're allowing yourself to over-concentrate on your AN. I know it's hard not to do so, but you have to try and distract yourself from being obsessed with your AN. Perhaps you might consider seeking counseling for stress. Being stressed out is not going to aid your treatment or improve your recovery. An acoustic neuroma is not fatal and can be successfully addressed. The many folks that post on this forum are evidence of that reality. Think about that and try not to allow your fears to overwhelm you.
Jim
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Jim,
Thanks, I'll try not to obsess over it! But you're right, I do think about it often! I try to distact myself, I have taken to praying that helps for a while, until I fall asleep, then I dream irrational thoughts.
Would you recommend that I meditate? I already see two therapists.
Mike
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Jim,
Thanks, I'll try not to obsess over it! But you're right, I do think about it often! I try to distact myself, I have taken to praying that helps for a while, until I fall asleep, then I dream irrational thoughts.
Would you recommend that I meditate? I already see two therapists.
Mike
Mike ~
Because I had only a very short time period between my AN diagnosis and debulking surgery (barely 3 weeks) and my only option was the surgery (Retrosigmoid) I didn't spend too much time worrying, although I was, naturally, concerned. However, I did a lot of praying and many others prayed for me, which was a major source of comfort. Some stress will be relieved once you have a doctor, facility and treatment plan firmly in place. At least it was for me although anxiety often increases as The Big Day draws closer.
Based on my experience, I don't have any concrete suggestions for the best way for you to deal with your fears other than to make peace with the reality of the tumor and be confident that it will be removed with no real complications. I can mention that focusing on others instead of yourself is usually something that helps alleviate stress. If meditation has worked for you (to relieve stress) in the past, than you should certainly employ it. I'm sure other posters will offer calming techniques for you to consider.
Going into surgery I had the attitude that I was going to be O.K. and was determined to 'get my life back', post-op. However, I understood that this operation was an unavoidable risk that I had to take. No one, including my doctor, could guarantee a complication-free outcome. I was fortunate in that I suffered no real complications from the surgery (or later FSR). I certainly hope this will be your experience.
Jim
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Thanks Jim,
I am about to go to bed and I will employ deep breathing techniques and post sleep suggestion to help keep those nightmares away. I do hope it works. Tonight I may try something different....
Sleep tight, goodnight!
Mike
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Guys and Gals,
I am happy to report that a night of rest does a body good! I am now cheerful and less down on myself than in the past 3 weeks.
Of course, watching the Knicks lose, then win, then lose again has been a rollercoaster of a ride! In fact it has been quite exhausting! Nothing compares with the GIANT rollercoaster of a ride( AN) this is though. Though its fun to be on a smaller shared ride such as the Knicks have been on.
Perhaps, in time, they shall gel and come together to make a great team as they did in 1973 when they were World Champs of the NBA, wouldn't that make it bearable?
For the greater majority of you that are not NY Knicks fans probably not! One can hope can't one?
At least I wasn't worried about my AN for two hours!
Congratulations, NJ Nets fans, your team drubbed the Knicks! Oh, that Marchon Brooks he was deadly accurate!
Mike
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Hi there again,
Sorry to bring up an old thread again! But I had a good time at a work friend of mine's daughters weddng last night, she looked like a princess!
This morning I woke up and thought, what if I don,t make it my daughters wedding how terrible that would be!
What if I didn't do enough research? What happens if something goes wrong? Where is my faith?
I am sorry to do this again but I need you guys to pray for me to go forward with the Gamma Knife procedure that I have scheduled for June 11 with NY Presbytarian and Dr. Sisti and Dr. Isaacson.
What if the tumor grows too big over the interim 8 months I've been waiting, taking my sweet time doing the research? I feel like such a fool to be asking this again!
Mike
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Mike -
have to say, respectfully, you think too much.
I can relate on some level - I'm a worrier, too - but like Jim, I had a short period (six weeks) between my diagnosis and my treatment (surgery), so I didn't have a lot of time to worry.
You have a game plan, which I'm sure you have confidence in, so let it go for a while. Take your mind off your AN and those "what ifs" and you'll sleep better and think less about your "situation".
If you need help, watch the Chicago Bulls; they are doing amazing things ;D
Jan
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Mike -
have to say, respectfully, you think too much.
I can relate on some level - I'm a worrier, too - but like Jim, I had a short period (six weeks) between my diagnosis and my treatment (surgery), so I didn't have a lot of time to worry.
You have a game plan, which I'm sure you have confidence in, so let it go for a while. Take your mind off your AN and those "what ifs" and you'll sleep better and think less about your "situation".
If you need help, watch the Chicago Bulls; they are doing amazing things ;D
Jan
I agree 100 % with your statement but I am one of the strange ones that I have noticed through the years I worry a lot but I know at the end it always works out so now I am afraid to be positive because it might not work out ... the more I worry the better the outcome I guess whatever helps even my daughter said that I worry way too much but deep down I know it will be fine ??
Best Wishes,
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Recently, I was talking with my pastor, who is a close friend as well, and he worried alot, but started journaling and it helped him realize that most of what he worried about never happened. I listened to a Charles Stanly sermon yesterday and his sermon was about being anxious. For Christians, worrying and anxiety are a faith battle. If so inclined, go to his website and listen to yesterday's sermon, very uplifting for me. I wake up around 4 almost every morning the last few weeks and worry about EVERYTHING. Losing your rest exacerbates everything for me, especially balance, fatigue and tinnitus.
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Having a AN is a very stressful situation... Especially with the symptoms (tinnitus, balance, headaches, etc.) Being a W+W'er for 5 years now I`ve done everthing possible health wise to make myself feel better. That includes getting my mind in the best shape possible to deal with my ailments hopefully forever. So far so good and actually feel alot better than when first diognosed. Keep the faith and make every effort for a solid game plan in our lives. Best wishes, Mickey
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... ... ... what if I don,t make it my daughters wedding how terrible that would be!
... ... ... What if I didn't do enough research? What happens if something goes wrong? Where is my faith?
I am sorry to do this again but I need you guys to pray for me to go forward with the Gamma Knife procedure that I have scheduled for June 11 with NY Presbytarian and Dr. Sisti and Dr. Isaacson.
... ... ... What if the tumor grows too big over the interim 8 months I've been waiting, taking my sweet time doing the research? I feel like such a fool to be asking this again!
Mike
Hi Mike - did you notice the pattern of your worries as I did?
What if you make it to your daughter's wedding? Will you be fit and buffed with rock hard abs?
What if all the research in the world forgets to tell you to stop researching and living life now that you've got all of your questions answered?
What if the tumour doesn't grow bigger?
Nope - you are definitely NOT a fool. You're a human being who has feelings, cares, and worries who wants to be around to feel life and lively. It'll happen mate. Not just this minute, but it will happen.
How about some light weights to get those abs and that washboard stomach so you can walk your daughter down the aisle when the time comes and look great in all the photos?
This could be the goal to aim for and the surgery can be a speed hump along the way.
I know nothing about your football over there but the Chicago Bulls sounds like a team of go-getters who'll push anyone out of their way to win (am I close on this one?? :P) so cheer them on and I'll hope they win for you too.
Take care and keep journalling because you're doing OK.
Hugs,
Suu xxoo
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... ... ... what if I don,t make it my daughters wedding how terrible that would be!
... ... ... What if I didn't do enough research? What happens if something goes wrong? Where is my faith?
I am sorry to do this again but I need you guys to pray for me to go forward with the Gamma Knife procedure that I have scheduled for June 11 with NY Presbytarian and Dr. Sisti and Dr. Isaacson.
... ... ... What if the tumor grows too big over the interim 8 months I've been waiting, taking my sweet time doing the research? I feel like such a fool to be asking this again!
Mike
Hi Mike - did you notice the pattern of your worries as I did?
What if you make it to your daughter's wedding? Will you be fit and buffed with rock hard abs?
What if all the research in the world forgets to tell you to stop researching and living life now that you've got all of your questions answered?
What if the tumour doesn't grow bigger?
Nope - you are definitely NOT a fool. You're a human being who has feelings, cares, and worries who wants to be around to feel life and lively. It'll happen mate. Not just this minute, but it will happen.
How about some light weights to get those abs and that washboard stomach so you can walk your daughter down the aisle when the time comes and look great in all the photos?
This could be the goal to aim for and the surgery can be a speed hump along the way.
I know nothing about your football over there but the Chicago Bulls sounds like a team of go-getters who'll push anyone out of their way to win (am I close on this one?? :P) so cheer them on and I'll hope they win for you too.
Take care and keep journalling because you're doing OK.
Hugs,
Suu xxoo
Great advice sometimes we worry way too much but it is only human nature for some and I too am one of them ....
Best Wishes
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Thanks for the support everybody,
Sometimes it helps to just wake up with the alarm and do exercise first thing in the morning, I have a recumbent bike. Sometimes, I just wake up with these unfiltered thoughts of dread in my mind! All of you have been helpful to me, thank you, I shall try my best to pay-it-forward!
There are people who say that I should be in the best shape I can for the procedure, I'll try to be I have to lose weight to get my core in shape for the balance issues that may result. I already walk with a cane, should I consider getting a quad cane(4 prongs that make contact with the ground).
Am already getting better sleep now that I am comfortable with my choice of treating team and treatment center.
Sorry, that I am a worrier, I just can't control my morning thoughts, sometimes......I should do what Deepac Chopra recommends.....and meditate he uses the an acronym of STOP.
S- Stop
T- Take 3 deep breaths
O - Observe my surroundings
P - Proceed on with another thought
Oprah's Life Classes are so useful!
I need to listen to you all and calm down, everything will be ok!
I am so grateful for everyone!
mike
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Thanks for the support everybody,
Sometimes it helps to just wake up with the alarm and do exercise first thing in the morning, I have a recumbent bike. Sometimes, I just wake up with these unfiltered thoughts of dread in my mind! All of you have been helpful to me, thank you, I shall try my best to pay-it-forward!
There are people who say that I should be in the best shape I can for the procedure, I'll try to be I have to lose weight to get my core in shape for the balance issues that may result. I already walk with a cane, should I consider getting a quad cane(4 prongs that make contact with the ground).
Am already getting better sleep now that I am comfortable with my choice of treating team and treatment center.
Sorry, that I am a worrier, I just can't control my morning thoughts, sometimes......I should do what Deepac Chopra recommends.....and meditate he uses the an acronym of STOP.
S- Stop
T- Take 3 deep breaths
O - Observe my surroundings
P - Proceed on with another thought
Oprah's Life Classes are so useful!
I need to listen to you all and calm down, everything will be ok!
I am so grateful for everyone!
mike
Great words to live by but very very difficult to do it as you this consumes my every thought and I know with me I have too much time and not enough distractions... I sent you a PM not sure if you received it?
As far as the cane I use a single one not sure about the 4 prong one you do not see that many people with those that I have noticed I do see more of the single ones if that helps ?
Best Wishes,
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G'day Mike
I like your STOP analogy -
S- Stop
T- Take 3 deep breaths
O - Observe my surroundings
P - Proceed on with another thought
It's a good one to take on board so I've got it printed out and it's on my fridge.
Hugs from across the big pond,
Suu xxoo
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Mike: I can understand your worrying, I myself tend to be a worrier in general and the time I spent "watching and waiting" my regrowth was very stressful for me, it was my worries that spurred the surgery to remove the regrowth, I waited until my children were of an age for me to be ill and my husband cope for my recovery on his own and then I had the regrowth removed, it was not medically indicated but removed for my mental health! Some people just can't stop themselves from worrying. The one thing I did that was helpful was I set aside "worry time" each day, allowed myself to worry for a period of time only each day, through the rest of the day if the thought came to mind I used the STOP method.
Kathleen
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Thank you Suu and Kathleen!
I have taken to praying and using STOP as the radiation date comes closer. I find that this helps me greatly. Thank you all (the forum members who continue to pray and blog on this site) let us continue on this journey to wellness together!
Fondly appreciating the support,
Mike
There are those that don't have the support that we have, let us pray for them as well.
When first I arrived here, I was scared, it was frightening to be fearful. There are people who don't know about this forum and the good it does, pray for them to find us.
Welcome each new member as they come on and share what we have found, a sense of being together and most of all of belonging to something.
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Welcome each new member as they come on and share what we have found, a sense of being together and most of all of belonging to something.
Hear! Hear! And so say all of us!
I like to say hello even if I don't have an answer to a question a newbie has asked. I'm learning quickly about all the different actions some doctors take and I'm also learning about how people react to those actions.
Wishing you and the rest of our growing family all the best for the coming weeks and years ahead.
Lovenhugs,
Suu xxoo