ANA Discussion Forum

Post-Treatment => Cognitive/Emotional Issues => Topic started by: gman100 on February 16, 2010, 11:13:40 pm

Title: Success Despite Issues
Post by: gman100 on February 16, 2010, 11:13:40 pm
I was hoping some other people could talk about how several of their issues didn't get in the way of their success.

Following my brain surgery, I was just intellectually empty compared to normal. I was just about to finish my degree in college and the thought of losing my intellect was so much to bear.  In addition, I  had hopes of applying to a graduate school.  I couldn't get over the idea that my many problems, which were visible to everyone, might get in my way. It pained me to think that despite my good merits I may not get in. I had facial paralysis and I just felt like I couldn't present myself well during an intensive interview. I always had lubricant around my eye and I just felt so out of my element. My CN6 was paralyzed and as a result my left eye was plastered as near my nose as possible. The steroids gave me horrible acne, that even when leaving left my skin somewhat scaly and bumpy.

I just felt like I looked like hell and that it would somewhat impact my abilities to get into a graduate problem. I felt like hell, and I thought I looked like it too. Much to my surprise, I did well on my PCAT (big standardized test for pharmacy school) and I accepted into many programs. With all this negativity I had, I was still able to meet my goals. People were exceptionally compassionate and all the aspects of my life that I felt were going to hold me back didn't. So I'm sure that many people feel like their problems may harm them professionally or otherwise, but I was able to personally succeed despite them.

I thought a good story might help some people out, because I know I feel horrible sometimes. My intellectual abilities slowly got better over the months, with people saying they noticed that I was slower. But that all went away and I scored near the top of the nation among college students only a year after my surgery! I also don't mean to be a braggart, I just want to hear some other stories of personal success, whatever that may happen to be. These dumb problems hopefully can't keep us from doing so many things we wanted to do.
Title: Re: Success Despite Issues
Post by: leapyrtwins on February 17, 2010, 07:45:24 am
Kaybo is one of the biggest success stories I know  ;D

There are a lot of others here on the Forum.

Jan
Title: Re: Success Despite Issues
Post by: CHD63 on February 17, 2010, 08:49:56 am
Chris .....

You truly are a success story.  Going through what you have and coming out with your new approach to life is commendable.  By and large the world is made up of mostly compassionate people and we have to remember that when we are faced with physical adversity.  You have found this to be true.

Thanks for sharing your story to encourage others out there who are struggling with the same fears.

Clarice
Title: Re: Success Despite Issues
Post by: gman100 on February 17, 2010, 10:23:44 am
Thanks,

For months I felt like these problems would really hold me back. I thought people would see merit but my physical looks or inability to present myself well would negatively impact me. But they didn't. I'm sure many other people probably feel this way, maybe even to the point of admitting some type of defeat. But hang in there and try!
Title: Re: Success Despite Issues
Post by: lawmama on February 17, 2010, 04:23:42 pm
Great story!  Thank you for sharing your positive experience.  Very inspirational!!!  I congratulate you on not giving up despite the fact that it was a huge challenge for you to continue your education.  I am in law school and I feel the same way sometimes.  I look normal on the outside, so most of my classmates have no idea that I have a lot of challenges that are hidden (I kept my tumor a secret from most of my classmates).  I am trying to adapt to being SSD, I am re-learning to operate with only one vestibular nerve, and I am still recovering from major surgery.  I feel like I have to work harder than everyone else to achieve the same results.

In short, I don't think you were bragging at all.  I think we need to recognize our successes to keep motivated.  Great work!!!!

Lyn
Title: Re: Success Despite Issues
Post by: Jim Scott on February 17, 2010, 05:16:16 pm
Chris ~

I want to thank you for posting your experience.  These forums exist to help and support AN patients, some of whom are struggling with post-procedure problems, as you have.  Occasionally, some newly diagnosed AN patients read these accounts of folks battling facial paralysis or other complications and become frightened of the possible consequences of surgery (or radiation).  We don't sugarcoat reality and readily state that AN surgery is a calculated risk, which is why the ANA recommends seeking very experienced doctors when considering AN removal surgery.  However, when an AN surgery patient that endured facial paralysis is able to post a frank account of his struggle and include a positive outcome, as you have, that is downright inspiring.  Thanks, again.

Jim
Title: Re: Success Despite Issues
Post by: mimoore on February 17, 2010, 06:56:17 pm
Wonderful and very inspiring!
Believe in yourself and the sky is the limit!
Michelle  ;D
Title: Re: Success Despite Issues
Post by: saralynn143 on February 17, 2010, 09:18:37 pm
Way to go gman! I actually felt much better after my surgery because I got off some medication that just plain made me stupid. I would forget words mid-sentence and that is bad for a writer. My doctor and many of my friends told me that it was just getting older, but I knew that wasn't what was wrong with me. Turns out I was right. Go figure.

What does hold me back is insecurity about my appearance. Although I have recovered to the point of symmetry at rest (I am probably a strong 3 on the H-B scale at this point) I am not confident when speaking or eating or smiling big. There are folks who tell me that they think I am fully recovered and I just wonder what planet they are from. My sister even compared my smile to Alicia Silverstone's cute crooked smile. I appreciate the thought, but come on. They are not comparable.

But I am comfortable in familiar settings. For now I am content to be a stay-at-home mom who actually is seldom at home. My kids keep me extremely busy and my being "at home" allows my husband to excel in a demanding job, so it works for my family.

I do sometimes envy my friends in the workforce, but this is my place for now.

Take care and continue in your healing, gman.

Sara
Title: Re: Success Despite Issues
Post by: jaylogs on February 18, 2010, 04:49:53 am
This is truly an inspirational story! I think every one of us who has gone through this has some sort of success, albeit small.  Anytime a person can come out of brain surgery and having a (sometimes huge) tumor removed and then go on to lead a productive life, along with the REALLY successful stories, are messages that all newbies need to know. Thanks so much for sharing this with us GMan!! Cheers!
Jay
Title: Re: Success Despite Issues
Post by: stoneaxe on February 26, 2010, 10:59:51 pm
Great story GMan....you have reason to be proud. I felt much like you did. Had a hard time for awhile and then finally turned things around....with a little help from those that cared. I think a lot of it is how we percieve ourselves. If we allow the issues to keep us down...well...down is where we'll be. I feel for those who have such severe problems that they really can't overcome them but for some oftentimes its a question of attitude. I've had folks here tell me my story is inspirational...this is REAL inspiration!
http://anausa.org/forum/index.php?topic=11970.0 (http://anausa.org/forum/index.php?topic=11970.0)