ANA Discussion Forum
AN Community => AN Community => Topic started by: Brendalu on June 06, 2009, 05:31:27 am
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I know all of you are great with prayers and my family needs a bunch right now. I am very fortunate to have two fathers-in-law. The Kansas one had a stroke yesterday and is in the hospital in Kansas. The Florida one has bladder cancer (three tumors) and is awaiting a surgery date. The Kansas one is 86 and in frail health anyway and not doing well, the one in Florida is 74 and is diabetic. This is my husbands busy time of the year at work and vacations are not allowed. He is very torn which way to go. The one in Kansas is his step father and the one in Florida is his Dad. He is close to both. My knees are worn out from praying, but I continue.
Thanks,
Brenda
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Brenda~
Got cha covered...prayers coming your way...
K
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Brenda ....
Having lived far away from both my parents and parents-in-law during their final days, I can appreciate the awful conflict one feels ..... wanting to be where you cannot be. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband.
Clarice
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Brenda,
I am so sorry to hear about both your father-in-laws being sick at the same time....
I know it is hard to make a decision about traveling if time does allow, let alone during a busy time of year.
My dad had a stroke on May 20th. Two of my siblings are able to keep us updated by e-mail/phone, which is really nice, and such a blessing.
Although we are only 4 hours away by car, alot can happen in 4 hours. I was comforted by the updates and knowing that my dad was pretty well cared for in the hospital. Now he is in acute rehab, and making progress at 84 years old.
I will send prayers to you and your husband as well as your father-in-laws.
And i hope that you and your husband have a chance to visit with both in the near, future.
Take care, and send updates when you can.
Continued prayers.
Sue
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Hey Brenda,
Prayers on on their way for guidance, support,and comfort for all involved. Keep us posted on the outcomes. Having loved ones far from home can be complicated when issues like this arise.
Priscilla
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Gosh Brenda I do feel for you, since my father-in-law is terminal also. I'm just a 20 min drive from him. You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.
Anne Marie
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Brenda ~
I understand your husband's feeling of abandoning his father(s) when he's needed, even when it isn't deliberate and can't be avoided. My father died 7 years ago, at age 91, in a nursing home in Florida, 1000 miles from me, where he had moved decades earlier. My mother died 31 years ago, in a hospital in Manhattan, 90 miles away. She'd suffered a stroke. I lived in Connecticut (still do) and had visited her in the hospital but couldn't get extended time off to stay with her. I had a family to support and couldn't risk losing my job. A second stroke was the cause of her death. Tough situation - and I felt bad in each instance, especially with my mother. Fortunately, my younger sister lived in Manhattan and was able to visit our mother frequently. She was the one who called me with the news of her passing.
My philosophy, based on my Christian beliefs, is that God has a plan for our lives and that includes our death, which is guaranteed - because we're mortal beings. Put succinctly: when it's a person's time to leave this earth, there isn't much anyone can do about it. However, those of us who love another, be it spouse, parent, child, sibling or friend, still feel the anguish of the permanent separation that death brings for those of us still living. I believe that God hears prayer and that even aged people with serious medical problems can be spared, for a time. On that basis, I'm pleased to offer prayer for your husband's father and step-father, that they may live. I 'll also pray that your husband can be allowed to visit them (at least one) and also that he can find solace in the fact that God knows his heart and that he would be there (with them) if he could. Prayers for you too, Brenda, for strength and the ability to support your husband during this trying time as you deal with your own (physical) issues.
Jim
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Thanks all. The latest update on the Kansas father in law is that it was a frontal lobe stroke. The Florida father in law is visiting his kids who are closer by than us. My husband has used his cell phone more in the past two days than he has the entire time he has had it!
Brenda
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Jim,
I think we must have quite a bit more than AN's in common!! Thank you for your prayers. They are appreciated. I agree that each of has a time slot and when that time is reached it is time to say good bye. I know what it is like to lose a parent without being able to be there (I wasn't there for either of mine) and I hope it isn't the same for my husband. I lost my Mom two years ago, she died from a stroke in Florida and my Dad passed away twenty-three years ago from a heart attack.
Many thanks,
Brenda
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Dearest Brenda, having lost my father-in-law in October and my dad last weekend, I can relate to the situation now facing you and your husband. I am certain that God has heard your prayers and will give guidance and comfort to you both in this difficult time.
Sara
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Sara,
Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of you Dad. Thank you for your prayers. I will add you to mine.
Brenda
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Brenda,
You KNOW I send my wishes to both of them .... as well as prayers for them and you all. I know your husband is torn right now and you all can only do so much. Please hang in there and please keep us updated.
Puggle hugglez
xoxo
Phyl
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Brenda,
Prayers go out to you and your family. You say you have 2 father-IN LAWS? Cell phone communication is great, and we didn't have that luxury years back, so that is a great way to really stay in touch through all of this.
I'm also praying that these 2 fellas will be around and that your husband will have the chance to visit when he can get the time.
Jim, I love your words of wisdom. Are you a pastor on the side? ;)
Maureen
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Brendalu,
I'm so sorry to hear about your fathers-in-laws illnesses. You know you and your family are in my prayers.
Wendy
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Jim, I love your words of wisdom. Are you a pastor on the side? ;)
Thanks, Maureen. Actually, I'm a Deacon. Does that count? ;)
Jim
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You bet it does! Congratulations on that, and you have quite a gift there :)
Maureen
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Thank you all for all of the kind words and prayers. The latest update is that David's Dad will have his bladder surgery on June 25. David's step-Dad's stroke was a frontal lobe stroke and he is having a rough time as is my mother-in-law. We are trying to bring them to Texas so that my mother-in-law gets some breaks and David's stepDad is closer to quality care and rehab. David's Dad has three tumors, two inside his bladder and one attached to the outside. The pictures of it are really "cool". My father-in-law couldn't believe wanted to see them. It's easier to google when you have the pictures of what you are looking for. I have been sending David's Dad American greetings ecards, featuring "Nigel's voice" and my words of wisdom concerning his upcoming surgery. If you haven't seen them they are really unique and give the receiver a good chuckle even when they are pretty down.
Good thoughts and prayers to you all,
Brenda