ANA Discussion Forum
AN Community => AN Community => Topic started by: CROOKEDSMILE on December 13, 2008, 09:59:10 am
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Laughing is truly known to release endorphins that make you feel good. So I hope this gives you a good chuckle.
When I die, I want to die like my
grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep.
Not screaming like all the
passengers in his car."
--Author Unknown
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
--Author Unknown
"Oh, you hate your job?
Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that.
It's called EVERYBODY,
and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey
"The problem with the designated driver
program, it's not a desirable job,
but if you ever get sucked into doing it,
have fun with it. At the end of the night,
drop them off at the wrong house."
--Jeff Foxworthy
"My Mom said she learned how to swim
when someone took her out in the lake and
threw her off the boat.
I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to
teach you how to swim.'"
--Paula Poundstone
"A study in the Washington Post says
that women have better verbal skills
than men.
I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."
--Conan O'Brien
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant??
I'm halfway through my fish burger
and I realize, Oh my God....
I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery
Do you know why they call it "PMS"?
Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.
Okay......guys. Don't you feel better now?
Love,
Angie
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So here's a funny story that happened yesterday...I was at Wal-Mart (my hangout where I go almost everyday!) and I was looking at 2 drawer file cabinets. There were 2 styles so I was looking at them both & comparing them - they were on the bottom shelf because they were pretty large. I could see the shelf tag of one easily, but not the other. I was leaning down...and leaning down...and leaning down even further. Now at this point, you are probably thinking I fell over since I was practically on the floor trying to see the price of the other file cabinet and since I have such awful balance, right? But NO - even better...in my quest to see that price, I had moved a bit farther down the aisle and when I went to stand up, I totally head BUTTED a lady looking at cat toys on the other side of the aisle!! Yes, that is right - I hit her bottom with my head!! I'm sure it was quite the shock for her! I apologized & apologized but I still wonder if she thinks I was some crazy getting my thrills some weird, psycho way!! It still makes me laugh everytime I think about it - I could hardly tell Dave about it because I was laughing so hard!!
Yes, laughter is GREAT medicine!! ;D
K ;D
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Kay, I think I would have fallen over laughing if I had been there to witness that! I'm sure the look on that poor woman's face was priceless! ;D
Angie, thanks for sharing those! I especially like the first one!
Lori
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Kay -
I'm much more polite than Lori ;) but I have to confess I would have laughed too!
Thanks for the "funnies" Angie.
One of the many reasons I hang around the forum is the wonderfully amazing level of humor I find here :D
I always know where I can go for a laugh.
Yes, Phyl, tries to keep us in line, but we still have a good time!
No offense, Phyl. I'm just glad I'm not a moderator - not always an easy (or popular) job LOL
Jan
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I enjoyed the "funnies" too. Pretty cute.
I've something funny to tell, and I hope I can tell it right because every now and then I think of this and I laugh all over again.
I have a young neighbor who is a friend of mine. What can I say, she likes old people! Anyway, she was telling me that she wrote out her shopping list of stuff and when she got to the store she was going through her list and when she got to her egg beaters, she had written down "wife beaters". Fortunately for me, I knew what "wife beaters" meant - those t-shirts - so I knew she wasn't referencing anything bad - and it struck me so funny. I just about ended up on the floor when she told me.
Then my son was over and he was drinking a pop, and his dog had been outside and got some tree pitch on him. Son was trying to get it off, and I said, "Do you want some alcohol?" Meaning rubbing alcohol to help take off the pitch, right? He said, "No, that's okay, I've got this Pepsi." ;D
Sue in Vancouver
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When I get tired I get what I call "verbal dyslexia" where I mix my words and sounds up. (Just think how much fun I am now with facial paresis to boot.)
Anyway, when I was in college and about to be married, I went to a lingerie store with one of my best friends, who was going to be one of my bridesmaids. It was finals week, and we were in grad school finishing our masters degrees in economics. So yes, I was quite tired.
The sales clerk approached us and told us there was a sale on camisoles and tap pants. (Yes, this was in the 1980s when we had tap pants instead of boy shorts.) I turned to Darlene and said "Oooh, let's go look at the tampax."
Dar and the sales clerk had a good chuckle over that one. I will confess I was mortified at the time but now I laugh every time I remember it.
Sara
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Too cute! Thanks for the chuckles.
And remember, if you want a good book to read, please read Marley and Me, by John Grogan. It will be out this Christmas as a movie, and I can tell already that some things have been changed. I'm sure the story is still there, and I'm sure it will be funny, but, really......read the book. It's a great read, it's hilarious, it's touching, it's sad, it's everything.
Sue in Vancouver USA
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You guys are toooo funny!!! I loved the tampex story! ha.
I promised my granddaughter I would take her to see "Marley & Me" movie when we go down there on Jan. 1st. We saw the previews of it when I was there the end of October. It looked soo funny!!! Thanks for mentioning that one.
My hubby and I just went and saw four Christmas's. That was a very funny movie!! If anyone gets a chance to see that, they would love it, and get some very good laughs!!!
Lacey
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Lacey~
I saw 4 Christmases the other night with a friend and we really liked it (even though we wondered what we'd gotten ourselves into after the 1st scene!!). Then the next day when I told another friend what we'd seen, she said she heard it wasn't good at all! I'm so glad to hear I wasn't only one that enjoyed it - I thought it was maybe that I just don't get out much & NEVER get to see movies unless Disney is somewhere in the title!!
K ;D
"Whatna flick it?" ;D
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I love most of the animated movies. Loved Wall-E, and Finding Nemo and all those movies. Love "Elf". That's pretty cute. I have to see Horton Hears a Who, haven't seen that one yet. There is just a lot of great "kids" movies out there that adults can find fun and enjoyable too. We watched "Ratatouille" and that's a darling movie. Actually saw that for the second time.
Anyway, keep a smile on your lips and a song in your heart. ;) :D
Sue in Vancouver, USA
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I LOVE Elf ;D ;D
Jan
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"Buddy the Elf...What's your favorite color?" (that's how I've been answering the phone!)
Believe it or not, I had NEVER seen it until Thanksgiving - now I can't get enough of it - I LOVE it!!
K
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Fran sissssss co ;D
One of my favorite parts.
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Well Kay, I've never goosed anyone with my head :o , but I too have been on the floor of a department store:
Seems the inside of a clothes rack is more exciting than the outside to a 3 year old, so as opposed to hollering to find them I would lie down on the floor and look for feet - seemed more discretionary until you get caught!
Yesterday, my mom offered to take mineral oil to some hand painted wooden faces that had not come out quite as intended (my daughter was painting them) and she asked "Do you want me to wipe the smiles off these faces?" When it struck us what she had said we had to grab hold of the table to keep from falling down laughing!
Happy,
Jules
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Thanks for all the funnies everyone. I'm just about to leave to go see a new doc (my expectations are not high that he can help) and decided to log on to see what was new here. I'm still laughing as I go out the door....and already feel better. :D
Marci
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Well, moms are good at wiping smiles off faces when necessary! ;D
Jules, remind me not to go shopping with you and Kay. :D
Lori
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Why?? Think of all the laughs that we would provide!!
;D ;D ;D
K
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We could all crawl on the floor together looking for the tampax. And our children.
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& then find unsuspecting, older people and stand up right behind them & whack them in the rear with our heads!
K
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Hello everyone!
Sorry, no funnies to share, but I did make this recent observation: The most laughing I've heard in a long time on a work site was between the health workers where I was having an AN removed. Even in ICU, the mood was light despite what was happening around them. Cudos to them for being human.
Cheers!
Ken
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Ken,
As a nurse, I can assure you that there's usually a lot of laughter going on after the anaesthesia kicks in too! Gotta do something to stay sane when you're stuck in room with no windows with the same people for hours at a time!
Kay, I'm afraid we might get arrested in the middle of Walmart! You'd be head butting people's butts while Julie was lying on the floor looking under the clothes racks - Jan would be doing Buddy the Elf impressions. Good thing Julie's mom would be there to wipe the smiles off our faces!
Lori
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One of the reasons I visit this forum regularly is the humor.
Syl