ANA Discussion Forum
Archive => Archives => Topic started by: lmurray69 on February 02, 2006, 03:57:45 pm
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do you ever do that..Right in the conversation you forget what you was talking about..The lasttime I went to see the surgeon.I had wrote ? I wanted to ask, and took my husband in with me.They act like your stuppied,,I think the only problem I have is knowing too much...They dont like it when you have all the answers. One Dr went to get up and leave and my husband said you will answer her questions,,One was which direction would you go if you performed the surgery, or how long is the fluid gone off the brain...they dont like it ...he just said he woudlnt do it .. and we left... make a list like i do and yes I am still searching ...........and asking ?????
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Sounds like you are better off without that Doctor.
Larry
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My surgeon very patiently sat thru and answered all of my questions that I had on a list. I've had lists since surgery as well and he is very good about listening to me. I hope you find a great surgeon who will answer anything you need to ask, no matter what.
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Give that doctor the boot to the curb LMurray. He's being paid handsomely to sit there and hear you out, whether you have anything important to say/ask or not. I'm sure that an educated patient with "all the answers" might rub his professional pride a bit wrong, but you have a far greater interest in the matter than he does. For all of his degrees and research and years of work in the field, he will not be the one making the hard decisions and facing the consequences of those decisions. Good luck finding a better one; they're out there!
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I owe up my forgetfulness due to nerves at time of appt and well... age... :)
I write everything down pre-dr appt... and during the appt (they never have an issue with me taking notes during my appt -- I tell them it's so I don't forget anything so I can give my family the correct/accurate updates).
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Oh brother, does this sound familiar.
My first neurotologis I called Dr. God. If I ask him a question he would talk to me like I was a very slow child. Just take his word and don't ask questions. I even printied a list of questions and left it with him. Never answered even one question on the list. After all this guy was the expert. He had actually done about 20 to 30 of these surgeries in 10 years. How dare I suggest I would feel more comfortable with someone who had done more.
Next! Dr. Ego. His ego is so big he can not even relate to fear, stress and treatment options. He kindly suggested that my 1.3 cm AN was so minor he could do the surgery without a neruosurgeon. He quoted 8 hours when HEI quoted 3 1/2 for the same tumor. Did he answer my questions? A few. That was between running out of the room every few minutes to have a conversation with other doctors, nurses and etc. pager going off every few minutes. Wonder what he does when he is in surgery?
Then Dr. Expert. Yes, he has done many. However, when I mentioned the word radiation he scared the bejesus out of me.
I finally said to hell with it and had radiation. At least the oncologist and neruosurgeon answered my questions. The neurosurgeon does surgery and radiation. Never pressured me one way or the other. Where was she many months ago? I was told by a doctor friend that doctors who operate on the brain are at the top of the doctor heap, ever other kind of doctor is below them and they are pretty sure of them selves. Guess they should be; it must take a pretty special kind of a person to be willing to cut into someones brain. Just wish they could communicate better.
I am at the point where I am very vocal about my mistreatment by doctors. I pay for their time and I want answers and their undivided attention. Maybe it is time for us to stand up and have the courage to tell them we expect more.
Sandy
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I found it helpful to have a list of questions that my spouse (or other advocate) and I worked up together. We would both go to the appointments with the "gameplan" for what we wanted to know. Since I was the patient and a little more nervous - translate - forgetful - my spouse would often ask the things I would forget.
By all means find compassionate doctors with whom you feel comfortable and can communicate. Doctors can be both competent AND compassionate. They need to be your allies, not combatants! You need a lot of information before treatment, but during and after it you will need as much or more information. I can tell you from experience that when you are lying in the hospital feeling lousy, a little warmth and caring goes a long way.
Best of luck finding the right team of doctors for your treatment!
Sanddollar
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Although at times this has been a difficult journey, having a Great doctor has been a blessing! I had surgery 8-2-05 at Duke Health Raliegh in NC. My doctors were Cunningham, Fukushima and McElveen and they were great. Dr. cunningham is my primary doctor and he has been with me every step of the way. My local doctors can't believe how attentive he has been,
I hope you find a team you are comfortable with.
Take care and God bless,
Lynn