ANA Discussion Forum
AN Community => AN Community => Topic started by: leapyrtwins on September 26, 2008, 11:53:31 am
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I know this is totally off topic, but I just found out this morning that Kelly, a very good friend of my daughter had brain surgery for a "huge" tumor yesterday. She's currently in a coma and her family is awaiting the results of her biopsy. It is my understanding that her doctors weren't able to remove the entire tumor and she's pretty much touch & go :'( Kelly is only 12 1/2 years old.
I am just blown away by the sadness of this situation and I can't fathom what her family must be going through. One evening Kelly was practicing at her Irish Dance class, the next she fainted and couldn't remember anything when she was revived. She also lost her speech and had a difficult time staying awake.
This is the second tragedy my daughter (and my son) and their classmates have had to endure. Two years ago another little girl, who was also a very close friend of my daughter's, was killed in a car accident along with her grandmother. Another classmate was seriously injured in the same accident.
I don't know God's plan for Kelly and her family, but I'd like to ask all of you to keep Kelly, her younger sister Tiffany, and her parents Ken & Mary in your hearts and prayers.
Many thanks,
Jan
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Jan,
Unfortunately, I do understand Kelly's plight as my sister was 13 with almost the same situation.... I send enormous healing huggles... extreme healing prayers for wellness.... and regardless of what God decides..... God is watching over her.
Please keep us updated... give your daughter a hug for me too.
I'm so sorry to hear this news.
Phyl
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Jan~
It just breaks my heart to her this - for her & her family and yours too. I just can't think of much that would tear me up than having to watch one of my girls endure that, but also to see YOUR child upset about it. You are all definitely in my prayers.
K
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Jan
My prayers are with Kelly & her family. I do hope for a happy outcome....
Please keep us posted.
thanks
Mindy
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Jan:
Thanks for your concern and your prayer request. I'm pleased to respond to it.
I can empathize with the little girl's family and friends because my brother-in-law (my sister's husband) died from a brain tumor a few years ago. He was in his early 50's. Although he had treatment at the best facilities available (Johns Hopkins), he slowly lost his ability to talk, his ability to move and eventually, passed away, at home, under his wife's care, as he had wished. She was devastated, of course, but she soldiers on. Fortunately, my brother-in-law left my sister financially secure and able to continue the domestic and foreign travel they enjoyed for years. However, his brain tumor and subsequent death were a shock to the family.
I will definitely include your daughter's friend, Kelly, in my prayers. I truly believe that God does have a plan for every life and I hope that this young girl is allowed to live a full and productive life but if not, I know she'll be in the hands of a just and merciful God.
Jim
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As a parent, I can only imagine what they are going through. Kelly has my prayers. Please keep us updated, Jan.
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Jan,
Sending healing thoughts and prayers to Kelly, her little sister Tiffany, and their parents.
Nancy
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My prayers are with you and yours! Sincerly, Mickey
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Jan,
I will be praying for Kelly and her family. It's so sad to hear what she is going thru. I'm also keeping your daughter in my prayers.
She has experienced alot of tragedy in her life, with what her friends have gone thru.
I hope Kelly pulls thru this, for the sake of her family, and your daughter.
Please keep us informed.
Lacey
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My prayers are with Kelly and her family and friends. Most of us would walk on coals to avoid having anything happen to a child!
Mags
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Oh, Jan, how truly unimaginable - makes me realize (again) that I really don't have any problems to complain about.
Cindy
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Dear Jan,
Allow me to add my prayers and good wishes for Kelly and her family and your daughter, too. Sounds like it was a very sudden awareness that she had a tumor.
I always am sympathetic especially when I hear cases like this because of my brother. He died of a brain tumor at the age of 55. Went to the dr on July 7 and died on Aug 7. He has 10 adult children and tons of grandkids to miss him, as well as all his wife and siblings.
May she receive the strength and courage to face whatever the future will hold.
My prayers,
Zoe
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I often think that we ANers are a LUCKY lot, really. Kids have a way of rebounding from things that would do in an adult (several come to mind), so maybe her age will be an asset. Will keep the family in my thoughts and prayers...
Tam
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Hi Jan,
Thoughts and prayers coming your way for Kelly and family. Please keep us updated.
Marci
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Hi Jan
My thoughts and prayers go aout for Kelly and her family. Please keep us posted on her condition.
Sam
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Dear Jan,
Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand to make things better. This would sure be one of the occasions to use it.
But I know from experience that combined prayers from caring individuals sent to our Heavenly Father can create miracles; way better than magic !
So, I would like to join all the others in saying a prayer for Kelly and her family and also for your family.
Mathilda
" 'Peace I give unto you,' theLord promises, 'not as the world giveth, give I unto you' (John14:27).
Peace. Strength. It is what we long for and what is possible. We only need to turn toward His reaching arms."
"When sore trials come upon us it's time to deepen our faith in God, to work hard, and to serve others.
Then He will heal our broken hearts. He will bestow upon us personal peace and comfort. Those great gifts will not be destroyed, even by death."
Russell M.Nelson
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Many thanks to everyone for your kind words and your prayers.
I really don't know a lot of details about the situation other than that Kelly remains in a coma in Intensive Care. I'm not sure if it's an induced coma or a result of her surgery. At the present time, she's holding her own and I guess time will tell what's in store for her and her family.
I did find out that she was complaining of a headache prior to being hospitalized and that her mom noticed she just "didn't look right"; she was pretty disoriented and not at all alert; she also had trouble speaking. Thankfully her mom took her to the ER right away.
My daughter and her friends are very concerned, but handling things as well as can be expected. They are anxious to see Kelly, but know that the most they can do for now is send cards and prayers to her and her family.
I truly believe in the power of prayer. Please continue to pray for Kelly and her family; I'll update you when I hear anything.
Jan
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Jan,
Wow, this story really puts everything into perspective as it reminds us to be greatful for what we do have.
I'm sorry she is going through such trauma at her age and pray Kelly finds her way back to a life full of grace and love. Her family is living day-by-day and understanding the meaning of "living in the moment" and my prayers go to them also to stay strong as this time in their lives is humbling.
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My prayers go out to the Kelly and her family .....and also your Daughter ...and son cause that is hard on them also much love to you all
Rhonda
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Jan,
Sorry I am so late in coming to this post. Our computer blew up and the new one was just up and running as of last night. My prayers are with Kelly and her family. How are your kids doing? I know how hard it is for them when something serious happens to one of their friends. Kids feel so invincable this kind of thing is always very scary for them.
Wendy
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I'm sorry to have to tell you all that Kelly passed away this morning. I had heard rumors to that affect this morning, and my daughter just called me from school to tell me that the principal broke the news to her and Kelly's other friends about an hour ago.
From what I heard the biopsy results from her surgery were finally received this weekend and her family was told that her brain cancer was stage 4.
Kelly never really regained consciousness from her induced coma, except to briefly wake up and tell her mother that she'd "love her for eternity" :'(
She was basically being kept alive by machines, and her family made the decision to let her go.
Many thanks to all of you for keeping Kelly and her family in your thoughts and prayers. Please continue to pray for them.
Today the world lost a sweet, beautiful little 12-year old girl - and in my eyes it will never be the same.
Jan
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Jan,
It's not often that I cry..... but I shed tears now for such a tragic loss of what was a beautiful little girl. May Kelly and our Robin be running free, free from pain, feeling total joy in their ever-loving souls.
My very deepest condolences to you, your daughter, to kelly's family and friends and schoolmates. I endured this 39 yrs ago with Robin... and to hear this now.. I endure the same pain...
I am so very sorry.
xoxoxo
Phyl
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Oh gosh Jan,
My son lost one his dearest friends to cancer back in March. I did post about it. I'm so sorry. Please watch your daughter closely, talk to her and make sure she does not fall into a depression. Death of a friend is very hard on teenagers. Anthony had a tough time but going to university has really helped him come to terms with the loss of Amanda. He will always love her.
I hope the school will bring in grief councillors. Its important that the kids talk openly about their feelings. Crying is good, for I am crying as I type this. Make sure you hold your children just a little longer and tight tonight.
The poor parents. My heart goes out to them. oxoxo
Anne Marie
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Jan, I am very sorry also to hear of the loss of a young person. My sympathy to her family and yours for such a sad occurance. It is hard for young people to experience grief and hope they get the support they need now to understand and live with it.
Cheryl R
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Oh Jan, I'm so sorry. That is not the news I wanted to read when I saw you post.
I feel so awful for your kids. That is a horrible thing for kids to have to deal with. I hope that someday your daughter will be able to look back and realize how lucky she was to have had Kelly in her life, even for such a short period of time, and how lucky Kelly was to be surrounded by good friends and family. It sounds as though she lived her life to the fullest right up until the end - and if you ask me, that's a pretty good way to do it.
Hug your kids extra tight from me tonight. I know I'll be holding onto mine a little longer than usual when I tuck them in tonight.
I'll be keeping her family in my prayers.
Lori
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Jan~
I'm so saddened for everyone - you, your kids, her family. I was just so taken by surprise...I guess I was just thinking it would be an update. I'm with Lori...it makes me appreciate and love my girlies a little more. I need to remember to never take what all I have been blessed with for granted!
Hugs to you,
K
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Thanks everyone.
It's probably not too terribly important, but I was told mistakenly that Kelly's family had decided to remove her life support. That was not the case.
For what it's worth, I now know that her family was praying not to have to make this hard decision because they feared she would survive the removal and continue to live in a vegetative state. Thankfully, their prayers were answered and Kelly passed on her own at 1 a.m. today.
I think I have a need to write this, even though it's pretty irrelevant, because I'm having a hard time "finding God" in this whole situation. The fact that her family's prayers were answered is giving me some strength.
I will definitely hold my kids a little tighter and hug them a little harder tonight.
Jan
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Jan~
God is always working for us but it is VERY hard to see it a lot of the time unless we really look for it!
K
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Jan - As a parent, I cannot even fathom what you and they are going through. I just read this, and I'm sorry that I just got around to it. My deepest condolences to you, your family and theirs. I agree that I'll hug mine just a little tighter tonight because of this. Prayer can be powerful. I'm encouraged that prayers of the family were answered.
Take good care of you and your family.
God bless!
Brian
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Jan:
I had a sinking feeling when I saw the 'new post' icon and your name on the line that this might be bad news. Unfortunately, my fears were fulfilled when I read it. My condolences to Kelly's family and especially to your daughter, who must be devastated by the death of a friend at age 12. The last words of Kelly definitely brought tears to my eyes. I won't pretend to truly understand what Kelly's family is going through but my heart goes out to everyone involved.
I had a childhood friend die when I was eight years old. Long story I won't bother to relate but it could have been me. I still think about him now, some 57 years later and have visited his grave. I wasn't allowed to attend the funeral then but I've carried the little guy in my memory all these years. Your daughter will likely do the same for her departed friend, Kelly.
As others have stated and you probably already knew, this is a traumatizing event in your daughter's life and you'll need to do whatever you can to reassure her. I won't presume to tell you exactly how to do that as every parent knows their child so much better than anyone else, especially one who hasn't met her. I'm sure you'll answer her questions and let her know that her friend, at 12, will be in heaven. Personally, I believe that God has a purpose for everything and a plan for our lives. I also truly believe the old cliché 'she's in a better place'. The fact that Kelly's family had their precious child for 12 years has to be some comfort to them. They'll never, ever forget her. Your daughter won't, either. That memory is what we cling to and I believe is God's way of helping us grieve and then, go on.
God bless Kelly's family and your bereaved daughter.
Jim
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A bit of wisdom from my then 9-year-old son: my dear aunt passed away, I was sad and crying. He said, "Don't be sad - she's where she's supposed to be". My condolences,
Tammy
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Jan,
I am so very sorry to hear of Kelly's passing. I know how hard this must be for her family, friends, you and your children. Kids tend to think they are invincible and a blow like this is very scary for them. It is a shame for a 12 year old to have to feel his/her own mortality. I too hugged my kids a little closer, longer and harder tonight. Kelly and her family are in my prayers as are you and your twins.
Wendy
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That is surely every mother's nightmare, and my heart goes out to the family and friends. I lost one of my students at school when she was 12, and it took me years to get over it. I couldn't imagine her being anything but the bright, happy child she was in my classroom.
How very heartbreaking to have it all come on so suddenly.
Maggie
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Jan,
I emailed today before hearing the news to get an update on Kelly. I woke up thinking about her and her family today and said a little prayer for them as I drove through Starbucks to get my morning coffee. I mention this because on my cup it had this message and I instantly thought of your daughter......Here it goes.....(for those of you who don't drink coffee the Starbucks cups have quotes on them and nice words of wisdom on them.)
The Way I See IT #292
The way we get to live forever is through memories stored in the hearts and souls of those whose lives we touch. That's our soul print. It's our comfort, our emotional nourishment at the end of the day and the end of a life. How wonderful that they are called up at will and savored randomly. It seems to me we should spend our lives in a conscious state of creating these meaningful moments that live on. Memories matter.
----Leeza Gibbons
It is so odd that I got this message on my cup today so this one's for YOU and YOUR DAUGHTER.
Love,
Angie.
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Jan,
I would like to share with you an article I cut out many, many years ago. This moment is so appropriate......
There Is No Death
I'm standing upon the seashore; a ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and great strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and the sky come together to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says: 'There, she's gone'. Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living weight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in ME, not in HER, and just at the moment that somenoe at my side says: 'There, she's gone', there are other eyes watching her coming and other voices taking up the glad shout: 'Here she is!'
And that is dying.
Jan, God is right there in front of you, just look into the eyes of you, your children, family and friends, animal and foe. God has not left the room.
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Jan-
I was so sorry to hear this. I can't understand how children can be taken by cancer - it just seems so wrong. I can't even imagine what her family is going through. Give your kids extra hugs, and yourself, too.
Debbi
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Angie and Karen,
Those are both really nice thoughts.
Lori
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I'm so sorry to hear about this story and this little girl. I haven't been on line too much because my 49 year old brother is currently on hospice for a CA brain tumor. When he came home from the hospital on September 22nd they gave him one day to a week. It has been now two weeks.
I know that there is no hope, but I go over every day to see him. He has a wife and three daughters and a grandson. He like Kelly was healthy and back on September 8, 2007 woke up with a headache and was rushed to the hospital. It has been a year of hell for my family and his.
The only way that I have been able to get through this is that I know that when he does pass, he will not suffer anymore and that one day I will see him again.
Lisa P.
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LisaP~
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I knew from talking to you that he was sick, but did not know that it had escalated to this point. Peace to you and his family.
K
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Lisa.....there is a BIG huggle waiting for you in November that I will be personally delivering to you.....I am so very sorry to hear of this..... no words will help right now, but know that I am thinking of you all and saying prayers during this most difficult time.
Huggles.... major huggles.....
xoxoxo
Phyl
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Oh Jan that is so sad. One of my daughters is almost 12. My heart goes out to Kelly's family. Life just doesn't seem fair at times. I am saying a prayer for her and her family to have the strength they need to endure what they are going through.
Michelle ;D
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Hi Lisa
I'm praying for your brother, family and you. You are now faced with the most difficult time in all our lives--death of a loved one. Your brother is blessed he has you and family to be there with him as he departs knowing he isn't alone facing his ultimate experience as a loved human being.
Hold strong as I know you are dealing with much and know we (the ANA family) are here to support you should you falter.
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Thanks again to everyone.
Angie, my daughter is a big Starbucks fan and loves to read the cups, so I'll be sure to share your message with her.
And Karen, your words helped me a lot. I've been having a real crisis of faith the past few days. It just all seems so senseless for a 12 year old to pass away this suddenly and this tragically. I'm trying very hard to believe that God hasn't left the room.
I'm also feeling somewhat guilty that I survived my brain tumor and Kelly didn't survive hers. I know they were two different types, but I've lived a long, full life compared to her. I realize God has a plan for all of us, but I desperately wish I knew that plan.
Lisa, my prayers are with you, your brother, and your family. May you find strength in each other and in the love of those around you. Hold onto the good memories of him and keep them close to your heart.
Kelly is being waked today and will be laid to rest tomorrow morning. My daughter, Alyssa, and Kelly's other friends are having a hard time with this, but they are supporting each other.
Please continue to keep Kelly and her family in your prayers.
Jan
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Jan~
Right after I had surgery, my high school golf coach's daughter died of brian cancer. I had babysat for them and was close to the family. I felt such guilt that I was still alive & their little girl had been taken from them. I know how hard of a struggle that is. I will keep YOU in my prayers too as you try to sort all of this out in your mind & heart and as you are there for your daughter. I know the next few days & weeks will be tough - I pray that you can gain strength from all the prayers and the arms of our sweet Jesus wrapped around you.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
K
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I'm sorry Jan, there are just no words for something like this. It is truly heartbreaking. Hang in there.
Best,
M
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I am so sorry. I wanted to let you know that my father-in-law also passed away this week, on Monday. He was in the hospital following a "cardiac event," however the doctors thought they had gotten everything under control and he was scheduled to go home Tuesday. Like Kelly, he will be laid to rest tomorrow.
He was a wonderful man who loved children (he was a scoutmaster for thirty years) and I'm sure he is keeping Kelly company in heaven.
Sara
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Sara -
I'm sorry to hear about your father-in-law; it sounds like he was a wonderful man. A scoutmaster for thirty years is quite an accomplishment.
I hope he and Kelly do meet in heaven :)
My condolences to you and your family.
Thanks Kaybo & Marci.
Jan
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I'm just finally catching up on this thread, and I too, am very saddened to hear of the loss of little Kelly. It just is so heartbreaking to have a young person leave us so soon. I remember, years ago, a lovely woman in our church who had an only son. He was about 13-14 or thereabouts when he was killed while riding his bike. He was such a good kid. The entire church was filled with people, and extra chairs were set up in the entry area. He was a boy scout, so his troop was there with all the flags and such. His mother, an older woman, was so strong, yet she looked so small and vulnerable, like half of her was gone now. It was one of the saddest funerals I've ever attended. The most moving was only about 2 years ago when a friends daughter lost her 9 day old baby. There is tremendous sadness in the world and innocents are lost every day. We can only hope and pray that a better place waits for them. :'(
Keeping Kelly and her family in my thoughts,
Sue in Vancouver USA
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Sara,
I am so very sorry to hear of your father-in-law's passing. He sounds like a lovely person and I'm sure will be dearly missed. Please accept my most sincere condolences. I hope you, your family and friends are a great comfort to each other in this very sad time.
Jan,
I continue to hold you, your kids, Kelly and her family in my prayers.
Hugs,
Wendy
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Thanks to all for your prayers, as of today, October 14, my brother is still with us. I went to see him yesterday and he is barely awake and is taking water through an eye dropper. Still can't believe that this is happening.
We had a fundraiser for him on Saturday the 11th, 300 people came to celebrate my brothers life. We raised over $8,000 for his family. It was comforting to know that my brother is not only a great guy but has touched so many people.
So I continue to go over evey day and also am taking care of my parents who are 85, still live on their own but need much support now. So I'm not on line too much but am looking forward to seeing you all in November
LisaP
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Lisa, I offer my continued prayers and wishes... and am thrilled to hear that the fundraiser was very successful! Great news! Hoping that the Sox win to help bring smiles to you all during a very difficult time. Will put in a good word for you all to have them win tonight. Please hang in there and have a huggle on reserve for you to be personally delivered in Nov.
xo
Phyl
Thanks to all for your prayers, as of today, October 14, my brother is still with us. I went to see him yesterday and he is barely awake and is taking water through an eye dropper. Still can't believe that this is happening.
We had a fundraiser for him on Saturday the 11th, 300 people came to celebrate my brothers life. We raised over $8,000 for his family. It was comforting to know that my brother is not only a great guy but has touched so many people.
So I continue to go over evey day and also am taking care of my parents who are 85, still live on their own but need much support now. So I'm not on line too much but am looking forward to seeing you all in November
LisaP
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Oh my - HUGE ((((HUGS)))) and prayers!
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I'm sorry to have to tell you all that Kelly passed away this morning.
Kelly never really regained consciousness from her induced coma, except to briefly wake up and tell her mother that she'd "love her for eternity" :'(
Today the world lost a sweet, beautiful little 12-year old girl - and in my eyes it will never be the same.
Jan
I am just reading this thread for the first time. Her words to her mom were so prophetic and moving. There are times I just don't get it...the big plan. Going to get Kleenex.
Kate
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I am amazed at how close we become to our support group here. I was at the florist today to thank the designer for the awesome bouquet she put together for my father-in-law's funeral (she spent over half an hour with me while I combined elements from different designs). I saw a card with a beautiful black-and-white photo of an empty rope swing, and the sentiment inside was along the lines of "Some special children are selected by God for an eternal playground." I almost bought it to send to Kelly's mother until I remembered that I don't know who she is. Although in a way, I feel that I do know her, because I am praying for Kelly's family along with mine. I have a 12-year-old daughter, and I cannot imagine life without her.
I would also like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their kind thoughts and prayers regarding the passing of my father-in-law. I am just certain that John and Kelly are having a grand time in heaven.
Sara