ANA Discussion Forum
General Category => AN Issues => Topic started by: mudpuppy on June 23, 2008, 02:43:25 pm
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My wife had her AN out at House about a year ago. We recently had the 1 year MRI, and took them to a our local neurosurgeon (we live on the east coast). We had seen this doctor when we were originally trying to figure out what to do, and eventually decided that House was the way to go after all of our consults (with various doctors) said surgery was needed.
At the office, we signed in and paid our co-pay. However, when the Dr saw us, he was very agitated, and refused to be involved with our case. This is after he has accepted payment and after he has seen the MRI (he had the CD in his computer).
The guys hands were literally shaking when he gave us back the CD and had his office refund our co-pay.
So, now my wife is very confused and upset. Did we do something wrong? Did the Dr see something in the MRI that he doesn't want to get involved with? Is the doctor just acting unethically from a bruised ego? He absolutely refused to answer any of our questions.
Has anyone had a similar situation?
What would you do?
Thanks,
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mudpuppy -
I have not had a similar situation, but then again the doctor I see is the same one who performed my surgery.
I am just speculating here, but from what you are telling us, it sounds like the doctor is upset that your wife decided to have her AN treated by the docs at House, rather than have him treat it. Right, wrong, or otherwise, he probably feels that if he wasn't "good" enough to treat her AN, why is he now being asked to review her MRI. I'm not saying that this doctor is right or wrong. I'm just giving you my opinion.
Although his behavior is certainly questionable, at least he had the "courtesy" to return your co-pay; another doctor might not have.
If I were in your situation, I'd either a) ask the doctor at House who treated me to look at the MRI; or b) find another doctor in my home town who is willing to review it.
Best of luck,
Jan
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Mudpuppy:
Welcome. Sorry to have to read about this kind of response from a neurosurgeon.
Going only by what you've stated (the doctor might have a somewhat different story) I'm going to venture a guess that this particular doctor is suffering from a bruised ego based on the fact that he was passed over by you in favor of an out-of-town facility and surgeon....one on the opposite coast. I'm surprised at his apparent lack of respect for your decision but, unfortunately, some neurosurgeons , just like anyone else you'll meet in life, have gigantic egos and consider not being chosen over a facility 3,000 miles away a huge insult. He was basically telling you to drop dead...you're not his patient, so get lost. While that is petty and childish, it happens and frankly, there is little you can do about it. He's being a jerk - so forget him. You did nothing wrong, except - in his eyes - not choosing him as your surgeon. Too bad. You had the perfect right to do what you considered best for you at the time. Move on.
You'll either have to find a more reasonable local neurosurgeon or send your MRI scans to the House Clinic, explaining your inability to persuade your local nuerosurgeon to deal with you. I think they'll be willing to help you. Let us know.
Jim
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I have heard another ANer who is in another state and not on this forum say a very similar event happened to her. Very sad that they have to be this way.
After my first surgery I had an ENT take my stitches out at a nearby clinic, so we didn't have to dribe back 150 miles just for that. He was not there though when I was having my 2006 surgery. There was a new guy there and I had read a bio in a newspaper that he had done a facial nerve fellowship somewhere so I thought he would find me interesting. I only got to talk to a nurse who said he refused to even see for 6 months after my surgery. I couln't believe it. I ended up with problems so wouldn't have ended up going to him after all. I just went to my regular family dr this time for the stitch removal with no problem.
I think specialists have more of the ego problem than a family dr just for what I have had to deal with where I worked. Some orthopedic ones were not easy to get along with either.
Cheryl R
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Mudpuppy -
That is very strange to me. If he was going to refuse to treat your wife, he could have easily had the office staff call you at home prior to your appointment so you didn't have to drive there. Or he could have informed the receptionist not to collect your co-pay. And why would he have bothered having the CD in his computer in the first place if he didn't intend to offer any treatment or advice? In my experience, doctors always get a copy of the schedule of patients for the day first thing in the morning or the night before, so I find it hard to believe he had no idea your wife was on the schedule until the last minute.
I certainly have met my share of doctors that have huge egos, but that doesn't excuse rude and unprofessional behavior. If there was a legitimate reason he chose not to see your wife, he should have the decency to tell you that. If he's so sure it's the correct decision, then he should have no problem admitting that. I would probably call him and ask him to explain what the problem is. But, that's just me and we all know that I like to poke bears with sticks on occasion.
I'm sure you should be able to send the CD to House to have them review it and I would mention to them what happened at the east coast surgeon. And at least you can be thankful that you didn't let him operate on your wife - never trust a brain surgeon with shaky hands!
I honestly don't think you did anything wrong. You have to be able to shop around for the best person to do the job and that surgeon should understand that sometimes, he just isn't going to be the one.
Lori
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House would be more that happy to view your MRI's from the mail ....
you doctor should of told you up front BEFORE he took your co-pay.. that's just wrong....
I told my local surgeon that I decided to go to house.. and that I might see him for follow ups said ... No, he would not see me ... at least he told me up front ... I think its a case of you can't have 2 chef's in the kitchen ...
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Lori -
I get what you're saying about the doctor and his schedule, but isn't it possible that this doc had no idea who "patient x" was since he didn't treat her? Lots of docs see numerous patients and I can't believe that we all stick out in their minds.
Despite the fact that I've seen my neurotologist lots of times since my diagnosis, he still sometimes forgets what side my AN was on (naturally I tease him that I'm highly offended by this) but we can't expect docs to remember everything.
Perhaps this neurosurgeon didn't realize who mudpuppy's wife was until she showed up for the appointment, at which point he got all flustered and po'd.
I'm not excusing his behavior; I'm just wondering why this doc just didn't have his staff cancel the appointment like you suggest.
BTW, some very good points in your post. And I'm the type of person who would try to contact the doctor too - just to see if he'd tell me what his issue is. I guess we both like to "poke bears with sticks" ;D
Jan
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Well, when my wife made her appointment, she was very up front as to what it was about (that the surgery had been done by someone else, and that this was a follow-up).
It's just very strange to get all the way into the doctor's office, and then have him go kind of psycho and refuse to have anything to do with you. Especially since his previous advice was that we should investigate a few other places until we were comfortable with our course of action.
We were able to get in touch with our doctor at House and he will review the MRIs with us.
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Jan - I'm with you and Lori as I too like to poke bears with sticks, the bigger the better! It's a shame some docs let their egos get in the way of doing the right thing. It doesn't say much for them as people. I have to say, a couple of the doctors I saw when I was going for second and third opinions knew they were not in the running but were still courteous and professional about looking at my MRIs and answering questions. I now wonder if they'd be that nice if I went back to them after my surgery.
Mudpuppy - Sorry about your experience with your local neurologist. I guess he felt he had the right to be insulted you didn't trust him enough to perform your wife's surgery. Some people with big egos really have no class at all.
Wendy
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Well, when my wife made her appointment, she was very up front as to what it was about (that the surgery had been done by someone else, and that this was a follow-up).
Well, there goes my theory. This makes the whole experience even stranger, mudpuppy. I am very puzzled.
As Wendy said, most docs are courteous and professional even if they know they are giving you a 2nd or 3rd opinion and know they are out of the running. I sent someone from Michigan to my doc's partner, here in Illinois, for a 2nd opinion. This doc actually told this patient that the 1st doc he consulted with was just as qualified a surgeon as he was and since doc #1 was located in Michigan, he should go there. How's that for an honest opinion?
I'm glad that your wife's doctor @ House is willing to go over the results with her. Sounds like he's a class act :)
I hope her MRI results are very positive,
Jan (trying to stay away from those bears) oh my! :D
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i am getting my 1 year MRI in Nov and House specifically told me to send it to them for review. Someone at House also told me that some doctors (ego or no ego) will not touch my case due to liabilities issue - not sure if this mean my recovery period timeframe or after? Anyway, glad to hear it worked out!! hope the review is a success :D
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Jan - I'm with you and Lori as I too like to poke bears with sticks, the bigger the better! It's a shame some docs let their egos get in the way of doing the right thing. It doesn't say much for them as people. I have to say, a couple of the doctors I saw when I was going for second and third opinions knew they were not in the running but were still courteous and professional about looking at my MRIs and answering questions. I now wonder if they'd be that nice if I went back to them after my surgery.
Mudpuppy - Sorry about your experience with your local neurologist. I guess he felt he had the right to be insulted you didn't trust him enough to perform your wife's surgery. Some people with big egos really have no class at all.
Wendy
I like to wait until the bears are in hibernation, then poke them just to get a response ;)
Even if Mudpuppy's wife disclosed she had surgery by another doctor, that does not necessariy mean the surgeon got the message until they showed up at the office and he had the films in his computer. Unfortunately, communication in medical offices can be severly lacking between the scheduler (who may not even be in the same location as the doctor) and the physician. Doctors, especially surgeons, become very uneasy sometimes about treating patients who have previously been treated, especially when they have had surgery, by another physician. I believe part of it is ego, but another part is fear of litigation. An unhappy patient usually names everyone who treated them in their lawsuit, even when the second consulting doctor did nothing wrong. Doctors do not like to take a chance on cleaning up another doctors bad outcome or postoperatively following a patient who had surgery by someone else.
I am not in any way implying Mudpuppy's wife has had a bad outcome. It appears questionable if the doctor actually reviewed her MRI or just saw her AN is gone by the hands of another doctor and he prefers follow up care to be done by the operating surgeon.
Personally, I would send the disk to the surgeon at House who did the surgery. He will know exactly what procedure was done and what he is looking at on the films. He will be able to answer any questions in reference to the surgery and follow up MRI, because he was the one who was there.
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oHIo -
looks like we're going to have to start a "Poking Bears with Sticks Club". Glad you are going to join us ;D
Thank you for your post. It puts a different perspective on things by bringing up a couple of points that I never considered.
Didn't really give litigation much of a thought, but it's definitely an issue for most doctors. I remember when I signed my neurotologist's consent form for my surgery. He wrote on the form that he was going "to try to remove my acoustic neuroma". I was shocked :o and started a long discussion with him about whether or not he was going to remove my tumor of just "try" to remove it. IMO it was a sad commentary on the state of healthcare in America and a startling reminder of the large number of malpractice lawsuits out there.
As you point out, communication in doctor's offices can also be an issue. Every time I schedule an appointment with any of my doctors, I'm asked for the "purpose" of my visit, yet every time the doctor walks into the exam room he asks me the very same thing ;) Somebody's not talking to somebody here ::)
Jan
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Jan...in the large group practice where I work, patients are scheduled through a scheduling center that isn't even located in the same building. The scheduler takes the patients word for whatever they say they are coming in for. The visit may be listed as a post op visit, although the patient had surgery somewhere else and is not coming in for that at all. Things may go through many channels before they ever reach us, the actual medical professionals.
Your doctor probably asks why you are there (even though you have explained it to other people) because many people do not want to talk about their health concern to anyone other than the doctor. People lie and say they are there for one reason, the doctor walks in and they have a totally different story for the doctor. I could write a book.
Truly, fear of litigation has changed the way many doctors practice.
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oHIo -
Thanks for your input. I never considered the possibility that the doctor might be concerned with the possibility of litigation, should anything go or have gone wrong. I have to agree with Jan
"Didn't really give litigation much of a thought, but it's definitely an issue for most doctors. I remember when I signed my neurotologist's consent form for my surgery. He wrote on the form that he was going "to try to remove my acoustic neuroma". I was shocked :o and started a long discussion with him about whether or not he was going to remove my tumor of just "try" to remove it. IMO it was a sad commentary on the state of healthcare in America and a startling reminder of the large number of malpractice lawsuits out there.
As you point out, communication in doctor's offices can also be an issue. Every time I schedule an appointment with any of my doctors, I'm asked for the "purpose" of my visit, yet every time the doctor walks into the exam room he asks me the very same thing) Somebody's not talking to somebody here)"
Wendy
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First, let me state unequivocally that I tend to avoid poking bears with sticks - unless the stick is attached to a very powerful, loaded rifle.
Mudpuppy:
Although lots of relevant points have been raised that would help explain you and your wife's distinctly unpleasant experience with this particular neurosurgeon, from fear of litigation to lack of inter-office communication, the fact remains that he acted, shall we say, unprofessionally (in the vernacular- like a jerk). He could have simply stated, calmly and politely, maybe even forcing a thin smile, that he was not going to review your MRI scans due to litigation issues or whatever but instead, he chose to act as if your wife had insulted him and then threw up on his desk. There was no need for his brusque manner of dismissing your wife. None. That is why I stated that I believe sheer arrogance based on an inflated ego prompted his actions, which, again, no matter the actual reason (who cares at this point?) were unprofessional and rude, to put a polite face on a rather ugly situation. In any case, I would venture to state that you're well rid of this particular doctor. Life is too short to put up with this kind of totally unnecessary aggrivation.
I'm glad the House Clinic agreed to review your wife's annual MRI scan and I trust it will be positive.
Jim
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First, let me state unequivocally that I tend to avoid poking bears with sticks - unless the stick is attached to a very powerful, loaded rifle.
Good one, Jim ;)
oHIo -
guess it's just my day to be shocked. Patients really tell the staff one reason for their visit and then tell the doctor another ??? I would never even think about doing that! IMO that's truly weird - but then again, my life's an open book. Yes, I'm "stating the obvious" like my daughter likes to say ;D
BTW, you should write that book - I'm dying to read it :D
Wendy -
I absolutely LOVE when people agree with me - but be forewarned, I don't slip people $10 like Phyl usually does ;)
Jan
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Phyl slips people $10 for agreeing with her?
Hey Phyl, whatever you say is right by me. ;D
And as far as the poking bears with sticks club. Count me in. I've left a very long trail of angry and annoyed bears. I just poked a rather large bear yesterday. Still waiting for the growl.
David
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Yes Jan...patients lie. I would have no problem if they said they would rather discuss the issue with the doctor (and leave me out of the loop). When I interview a patient and tell the doctor the story, they review the records based on my comments. Most of a patients diagnosis is based on their history and their story. Some people wrongfully believe diagnosis is based on examination alone. My favorite though, is people who show up at the office and say they have no clue why they are there.
Jim...I agree with you 100%. I certainly wasn't trying to defend the doctor's behavior and believe Mudpuppy's wife surely got the raw end of the deal.
I definitely agree with whatever Phyl might have to say. I could use $10. ;)
LADavid...join our poking bears with sticks club. We could take Jim along for the ride (and protection, since his stick will have a gun at the end should we mess with the wrong bear) ;)
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Jan -
I didn't know Phyl was giving out $10 to everyone who agrees with her -- Now that you've mentioned it, the next time she posts something I'll be the first one ot agree with her so I don't miss out before she runs out of money!! I can't believe you're not following in her footsteps and I was really looking forward to a $10 tip from you too! I thought I'd use it for my BAHA Fund!!!
Wendy
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Okay, apparently I've commented on something that you guys haven't picked up from Phyl's posts :o
Not to start rumors or anything, but if you go back and search some of Phyl's ruminations you will see that she often mentions slipping $10 to those who agree with her. I kid you not ;) Must I find the links and post them??? Kaybo and Steve are two very observant forumites, I bet they know what I'm talking about!
BAHA fund, Wendy - now why didn't I think of that???
David, welcome to the "Bear" club - always room for one more! Lori will be SO happy! :D
And, last by not least, oHIo - all I can say is unbelievable! Writing that book sounds like a better idea each time you post. Maybe David can help you with your writing - he's very good at it!
Jan
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Yes, I am happy to have more members of the "Bear Poking Club" - that way I can let all you guys go first, while I hide behind you! Hopefully after swallowing all of you, he'll be too full to bother with me! :D
And I think the reason Phyl is able to offer the $10 is because of that HUGE moderator salary! I think we might have to start asking her for $12 instead of $10.
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And, last by not least, oHIo - all I can say is unbelievable! Writing that book sounds like a better idea each time you post. Maybe David can help you with your writing - he's very good at it!
Jan
Jan...if I write the book, David can be me in the movie. We can change the main character to a male and David can solve his employment issues. I am a female Marty Feldman at this point (David had expressed he didn't think there was much need for another Marty Feldman type...who woulda thought...) I'll start page one tonight.
Chapter 1. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. ;) How do you like it so far?
Jan, I have seen Phyl's posts involving her payoffs. Since I've been lurking and hanging around the forum for almost a year now, I decided it was time to get in line for some money.
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oHIo -
I think the book is off to a great start - although it sounds a bit familiar ::)
Thanks for backing me up on the Phyl comment - I knew I wasn't hallucinating! At least not this time :D ;)
Jan
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Jeez, here I've been hanging out in my cave feeling sorry for myself and NOW I find out there's money being thrown about the forum... Rats! >:(
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Well, we may have to wait almost forever to see a specialist in the UK but at least they are compelled to treat us and answer our questions and they usually do with professionalism if not courtesy - some are even nice, some haven't got a clue. I can't even begin to imagine some of the worries expressed on here re insurance companies and whether they will pay etc, thank God for the NHS.
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Jewel:
I'm glad you're grateful to your government for providing taxpayer-funded health care services with doctors of varying efficiency, as you state. The American health care system certainly has flaws, some of them due to government meddling, but I'll take our free market system, thanks.
You get nothing for nothing in this life. What Americans pay in insurance premiums and out-of-pocket, residents of countries with 'socialized medicine' schemes pay in higher taxes, not to mention having fewer choices and sometimes, rationed care, whether they're aware of it or not. There is a reason wealthy (and sometimes not-so-wealthy) people from Europe and other countries sometimes travel to the U.S. to have their medical problems treated. We have some of the best doctors and medical facilities in the world. That costs money and insurance companies pay for most of it, yet still manage to make a profit. Although we Americans tend to complain about the cost of health insurance and the sometimes seemingly intractable policies the insurance companies adopt, in most cases, they do pay the bulk of the medical bills in this country. For those without health insurance, federal, state and local governments have numerous programs to help the uninsured and indigent. On the internet, you can always find exceptions and alarming accounts of insurance companies refusing to cover this or that and someone going deeply into debt to pay for a necessary medical procedure but often they didn't do the necessary diligence to find a way to get the insurance company to pay or else didn't avail themselves of outside help,(federal, state or local programs) if necessary. Of course, there are blatant cases of outright abuse of policyholders by health insurers but I'm sure there are equally depressing tales of abuse by the NHS. Neither incidence should condemn the entire system. I guess we could call it a case of 'you say TOE-MAY-TOE and I say TOE-MOT-TOE'.
However, I know some folks look at 'universal health care' in other countries and swoon with envy so I won't belabor the issue. But I'll warn those who see a government bureaucracy in charge of our health care as a panacea for whatever problems they've had with their doctor, a hospital or health insurance company to be careful what they wish for because you just might get it - and it'll be too late then to reverse course.
Now, will someone help me down from this soapbox? Thanks. :)
Jim
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I am one Canadian very happy with the "socialized" health care system I pay for with my tax dollars. Canada is unique, a large country with a small population. In the populated areas Canadians have extraordinary health care. Its the remote areas that suffer. My husband works in health care and he see many non residents with fake health cards trying obtain health care.
In the scheme of things, I think it is what you are use too. What bothers me is insurance companies and pharmaceutical firms who take advantage of the people who need health care and medication. I hope David gets his battle settled. AN has enough battles to overcome with out worrying about medical fees.
Sorry Jim, but this is how I feel.
Anne Marie
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Yardtick:
No need to apologize for having an opinion that happens to be different from mine, Anne Marie. I'm glad you're content with your country's government-run health care system. Really. :) Besides, I'm old enough to realize that whatever one's opinion may be on any issue, there will always be other people with a contrary opinion. That doesn't mean we can't simply agree to disagree, without rancor. You're a valuable contributer to the forums and I wouldn't want you to feel in any way slighted just because we happen to hold differing opinions on the benefits (or drawbacks) of socialized health care. Although we've all been participants in our respective country's health care systems - for better or worse - these are really somewhat abstract positions that may be interesting to express but have no weight beyond our personal convictions on the issue. Hardly worth getting piqued over...and I'm not. After all, this is a discussion forum.
I know most Canadians and Europeans like their socialized health care system and that some Americans want the same. I don't. However, I expected some opposition to my comments. No problem. While other members are certainly free to express their opinion I don't intend to 'debate' the issue, as this is not what these forums are for. I've said my piece and I'll likely move off this issue now, unless I feel compelled to answer something I might consider untrue or slanderous, which I don't expect. We're all grown-ups here and can certainly have a slight difference of opinion without it devolving into acrimony. I appreciate your observations, Ann Marie, and look forward to reading many more of your interesting posts in the future. Thanks for your contributions to the forums. :)
Jim
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After receiving cyberknife out of state, I changed my local physician to another ENT that came highly recommended by another AN patient. My original physician didn't agree with my treatment choice. I'll leave it at that. This new physician could not have been nicer. He's going to order my MRIs and keep in contact with the radiation oncology for me. I do believe the liability issue factors heavily into physicians refusal to care for patients treated elsewhere.
Regarding insurance, I'm a nurse working for an insurance company. The average American has absolutely no idea how the system works. There are so many layers involved. However, I fear the end result of government plans replacing commerical insurance.
http://www.hrsonline.org/Policy/LegislationTakeAction/cms-trustees-report.cfm
With reductions in physician reimbursement, this can result in fewer people entering that field of study. Fewer physicians can lead to increased wait times for treatment with the possible rationing of healthcare. Waiting lists....
Sorry but I just had to jump in on that topic.
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Thanks Jim and goinbatty for "touching" quickly, but thoroughly on the subject of our healthcare as I agree with what has been said. I even met at the recent symposium a man who came over from another country just to get the care he wasn't getting to treat his AN. We aren't perfect but neither are they and our healthcare system is doing just fine thank you very much and I for one hope this continues as I do not like having too much of the government telling me how my hardearned dollars will be spent--I like choices and shopping around.
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OK, this isn't on the healthcare issue, but the original topic of the doctor not wanting to treat them. I know I am jumping in late, but am STILL trying to catch up! I just have to throw in how my views on Dr's changed DRASTICALLY after my recent trouble after my T3 surgery. As you know, I went from Texas to Baltimore to the Dr. who "pioneered" the T3 and to my knowledge one of the only physicians in North America performing it. After I came back to Texas, I started having all of the trouble (still debatable if it was a fluid build-up or an infection, but treated for infection and really doesn't matter b/c it is behind me now!). NOT ONE specialists would see me here!! My PCP finally saw me and then he got an Infectious Disease doc involved, but no ENT or Plastic Surgeon would touch me - they all wanted me to go back to Baltimore. Hindsight, I wish that I would have, but I was trying so hard to stay with my girlies! My doctor in Baltimore (who I LOVE) couldn't even believe it! He said, "WHERE do you live??" It is really not the total hicks here - we even have a medical school (a branch of Texas Tech). I KNOW it is b/c they were afraid of lawsuits - it makes me sad, not because no one would treat me, but that we are living in a society that has come to that -- I am raising my girlies in a world that only cares about themselves and not helping others -- the total opposite of what I am trying to teach them!! Ok, just had to throw that in!!
K
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K -
I've never run into this problem, since all my "work" has been done right here where I live, but it sounds like a real pain in the a** for patients.
It seems like one of the sad realities of medicine that patients who travel to another state for treatment subsequently can't get help from their own doctor when they return home and something comes up. At least that's what I'm getting out of yours and mudpuppy's posts. I'm sure that not every doctor is like this, but it's unfortunate that some are.
I think, despite lawsuits, that some doctors are willing to help patients who technically "belong" to other doctors - which IMO is commendable. I know that my neurotologist told me that he often sees patients who have had surgery elsewhere and then they come to him because they are having issues with side-effects. He didn't tell me that he won't treat them, but he did say that lots of these patients weren't told by their attending surgeon about some of the risks and/or side-effects of their surgery.
Jan
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Happily leaving the always-contentious health care issue behind, I concur that having out-of-state treatment (doctors, facility) seems to turn off local doctors when it comes to local follow-up. Some of this is not unreasonable, especially given the risk of legal liability as well as the likely attitude of the doctor in question not having 'ownership' of the AN patient. However, I think some of it is arrogance and ego. It depends. Doctors are human with the same flaws and weaknesses we all have. They can be saviors and saints (like mine) or a source of frustration. Upon my AN diagnosis, I seriously considered using the House Clinic (3,000 miles away) but found a local neurosurgeon who was at least as good as those elsewhere and so I avoided the problem of local doctors not wanting to follow up with a patient who had surgery out-of-town. I now consider that a fortuitous decision but I still think a doctor can reject a would-be patient with some element of grace and not act like a junkyard dog who hasn't been fed.
Jim
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I got the impression that the Dr's here felt "snubbed" that I didn't use them but HELLO, no one here (or anywhere else in the country) was doing what Dr. Byrne does in Baltimore!!
K
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Doctors are human with the same flaws and weaknesses we all have.
Absolutely!
Jan
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I have to admit this weighed into our decision as far as House vs. Local. But, something seems amis with this scenario. Why a doctor would be brought to shaking and be that upset seems odd. Have you thought that maybe it was a personal problem and had nothing to do with you. It is possible.
I remember seeing my son's surgeon who we were told was one of the best, and he is, he terrified us with his bedside manner. He is a no nonsense, I am going to give it to you straight kind of guy. He told Eric on the day of surgery some stuff about how this "could" turn out. ( I am not going to get specific as to not scare anyone) It was terrifying. But he was a fantastic doctor. I guess my point is that we thought that bedside manner made him a bad doctor but as my ex put it. Surgeons can be a little nuts. That is why they can do 16-20 hour surgeries. So, might be better to think that maybe it was a personal issue and if not that it still is his problem not yours. I wouldn't worry too much. Even though that had to be hard for you.
Robyn
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Robyn -
very good point, and something I never thought of.
It is very possible that this doctor had a personal matter that was weighing on his mind. Although that doesn't excuse his bad behavior, it might be a factor that caused it.
Jan
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Robyn~
Was this Dr. J that you were referring to?
We just dealt with that with the Infectious Disease doc - he was a jerk w/ NO personality and I told Dave the same thing - if you dedicated your life to studying all kinds of INFECTIOUS DISEASES do you think I would want to hang out with you?? :D
K
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In my experience, some of the most talented doctors have the worst bedside manner. And it's true, if you spend all your time studying, you probably don't get out much so your social skills are probably a little rusty. It's nice when you can find a good doctor that's actually sociable and likeable, but when it comes down to it, I think I'd opt for the talent and skill part over the rest.
Lori
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Lori -
I agree. Talent and skill should be the top priorities - personality, while nice, should be secondary.
Jan
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I doubt anyone will dispute the premise that, when selecting a physician, talent and skill are primary attributes and 'personality' is secondary. I'm always willing to give a doctor some slack on his 'bedside manner' if he's very competent. I've often said that when seeking a doctor, I'm looking for expertise, not a friend. I have plenty of friends. My wife refuses to use the same dentist I do because she considers him 'too aloof'. I think he's a great dentist and extremely thorough and always professional. He can be a bit detached at times but always concentrates on the job at hand and doesn't make a lot of pointless chatter. That works for me.
Like everyone, I want the best doctor available and I'm willing to cut a doctor some slack for not being 'Mr. Personality'. As I've previously noted on this thread, they're just (skilled, educated) human beings, not gods and they can't be all things to all of their patients all of the time. The late president Harry S Truman once said that when you come to Washington (as a politician),"if you want a friend, get a dog". I think this can apply to doctors. Personality is nice but making it a criteria for selecting a doctor seems a bit shallow.
All that having been stated, I think there is a fairly bright line between a doctor being aloof or less-than-charming and purposely obnoxious and rude. In Mudpuppy's case, that doctor crossed that line. In my opinion, they are well rid of him.
Jim