ANA Discussion Forum
AN Community => AN Community => Topic started by: Pembo on August 23, 2007, 03:15:06 pm
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I was at a luncheon today for new teachers and had to stand up and say a few words about myself. The lady who introduced me had just finished introducting the other new teacher who happens to be my sister in law. She said "...and this is **** and she's related to ****. And she can you tell you more." So I stood up and tried to say Yes she is married to my brother but it came out she is married to my husband.
The whole place erupted in laughter and I tried to quickly correct myself. I was so embarrassed. I finished up the few things I was going to say about myself (that I had been practicing in my mind the whole time others were talking) and quickly sat down.
The rest of the lunch I couldn't stop thinking about what I said. Lucky for me we listened to a speaker for about 5 mins, had a quick photo and I left. By the time I got to the car I was really upset and my one tearing eye started to cry. I know it was funny but I'm already self-conscious and that was a hit to the self-esteem. Plus I had just made it through eating and drinking without dribbling on myself. I was feeling pretty good.
I know only those on this side of the AN can appreciate this little side-effect and how annoying it can be. I will be alright and it could be worse but DAMN that surgery.
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Yep, I sure do, and all the time... I notice it more in my writing skills .. I make sure I re-read my emails (and postings!) 3 times before I send it off...
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Pembo,
Happens all the time. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Brendalu
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Pembo,
You are definitely not alone in feeling that way. But no sooner that it happened will it be forgotten. Try to let it go, tomorrow is another day. Nobody's perfect. But like you so elegantly put it..... DAMN that surgery! I totally agree!
~Karen
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Pembo I mix up my words all the time. Here's a story to make you feel better. Today while out celebrating my 2 year mark over lunch with my gf who had been on me all morning about getting back out in the dating circle I happen to see a cutie coke guy making a delivery and decided to take the advice and got my nerve up to strike up a conversation when my throat siezed up (an residual problem) started choking and reached for my water and knocked it over like a 2 year old. Needless to say I didn't get his number ROFLMAO I've been at many teacher functions were someone blunders like that and they didn't have an surgery. Life happens, I understand the self conscious issues but please don't let it get you down. Just laugh with them like it doesn't bother you. Next time ask the person who is introducing you to go a step farther to limit how much you need to say.
Go back tomorrow with your head held high! I applaude your courage in tackling a difficult profession with our post surgical issues!
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Pembo -
you are definitely not alone here. I mix up my words fairly often and since my surgery can no longer write an email without correcting it numerous times before sending. It's like my brain gets ahead of my fingers, and although I think I've typed a word, when I re-read what I've typed it's always missing words or I've typed words I didn't mean to type.
Hang in there,
Jan
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I think I'm part of this club too. However, I caught my wife mixing up words yesterday and she never had surgery. Since our vestibular nerve is either damaged or removed we generally get fatigued easier than others. One side is pulling double duty. It certainly seems to happen more when I am fatigued. Maybe you were nervous from the start. I think you should play it back in your mind and find the humor in it yourself. We can't take small things too serious. If someone makes a joke you could always say the old "I had brain surgery what's your excuse". Nobody is perfect. The only way to overcome your embarassment is to find the humor in it yourself. :D
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Hi Pembo,
After the An surgery, some of us have so much change to deal with. And most of it is about trying to be the same person as we were before the surgery. It can be exhausting. We just want to be normal like everyone else.....
All the things you guys have written about have happened to me sometime in the last few years. For me, I am very aware of my difficulties all the time and I don't reallly think it shows. I keep it all in because really, it is old news now.
Pembo, maybe that is why you could'nt laugh with all of them. Sometimes, there is too much emotion built up inside before we even get out of bed.
Thank goodness they all laughed. Can you imagine what would have happened if they all new you were about to pop inside. Now that would have been really bad!!!!
Thank you for sharing. We, for the most part completely understand.
Pattibobatti
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It's good to hear I'm not alone! I see the humor in it now! When it happened I immediately self-corrected, like I always do when I confuse words but by then everyone was laughing. I was able to hold it together and finish my pre-thought out sentences.
I know I have problems when I try to speak too fast before thinking it through and also when I'm nervous. But now that I think about it if I'm mad I can speak as clearly as the next guy...never messed up words when yelling at my own kids...hmmm ??? ;)
Today I had to go to a faculty meeting at my school and meet all the teachers.The principal introduced my sil and myself and said that we were related. My sil quickly said how we were related. I think she knew how embarrased I was yesterday...but she'd never say a thing...gotta love intuitive family and friends. :)
And as someone said, I have known other people to mix up words and they don't have a damn tumor to blame. At least I have a good excuse. :)
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What's funny is when you say the wrong word, then follow it up with the right word. Makes for funny combinations.
I was hanging out and shopping with some of my AN friends. We were going into a store and I was intending to say "hat", but said "happy" instead, corrected my self immediately, and it sounded like I meant to say "happy hat". The adjective did not fit in the sentence about the hat at all, and I'm still laughing about it.
often I seem to mean to say one word and the antonym will come out, in other words, the opposite of what I mean to say. I've always considered myself relatively intelligent, but it sure doesn't seem so when my sentences break down to gibberish! It is pretty funny though!!!! Anyone taken an IQ test post surgery? I should go do that and see how I score now.
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This has nothing to do with mixing up words, but it's still funny. I went to visit my son yesterday evening (he's disabled and has full time caretakers). I was there about 15 minutes when the lady who was working said "honey, is you shirt wrong side out?" Sure enough it was. Apparently I'd been wearing it like that all days. It also shows how much attention my husband pays to what I'm wearing. :D
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Hey Catflower: I hear that it's good luck if you put something on inside out & not aware of it. So, maybe it will turn out to be a good thing !! Nancy
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I'm constantly getting my mords wixed up! All you can do is yaugh at lourself!
Dapt Ceb 8)
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ay, i balme the AN.
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I don't mix them up anymore than I did before treatment, but I fully intend to use the AN as an excuse when necessary :)
Mark
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I am always doing this too. It's very frustrating if you ask me. My problem is usually not being able to think of the word I want to use....and they're usually really easy words, like...banana or something. I find if I can't think of the word, if I think of how to spell it for some reason it comes to my mind quicker. What really gets me off though is when I can't think of a word and my husband tries to guess over and over what word I'm looking for....grrrr. Makes me so frustrated!
Kristin in Montana
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Kristen, I am a retired English teacher and I've resorted to saying "the thingy", when I forget a naming noun. Soooo frustrating at times! :-[
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Kristin I have that problem too! And I feel as if all creative thought has left my mind. I was sitting in a grad class this summer and we were to brainstorm ideas for something and my mind was a complete blank! I couldn't think of a thing! Once other people started talking then my mind woke up! Another scary feeling........
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YES!!!!!!!!!! I mix up my words. It can be frustrating. My memory has gone kaput also. The simplest things, like picking up a few groceries. I had to call my husband last night to ask him what I was suppose to get. We needed garlic, coffee cream and fresh peaches. Do you think I could remember? NO!
I also have a hard time remembering a short conversation I've have had, especially at work. Now that can be very trying. I have to repeat 9x's out of 10 how much money the customer wants to withdraw or deposit. Hearing is an issue for sure, but my short term memory is just as much the problem.
It is interesting to see how many of us AN people have the same issues to contend with. I thought it was me and a side effect from the anesethtic(sp).
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There is visual memory and there is auditory memory. Auditory memory is probably the one we struggle with after hearing loss. Jotting a few words or numbers on a pad might help you to remember what you heard. The next trick is to look at the pad for visual confirmation.
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My kids thought it was funny when I forgot what to call things--until I forgot what to call them!!!! I mix their names up once in awhile--doesn't bother the girls so much as when I call my son "Danielle"!
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I mix words up like saying brother when mean sister... usually use an opposite
in replace of what I really meant to say or a near match ...
or the thing where I insert totally unrelated words in a sentence... refrigerator is my favorite..
went thru a spell of it popping up in sentences several times a day... I would sub it for a noun in
a sentence .. Give it to the refrigerator. instead of Give it to the man.
The other thing is mixing all the right words within a sentence... The cat jumped of the bed. might
come out The bed jumped off the cat.... now the cat was happy but it bothers me
I have gotten odd looks from people I don't know well .. I don't always try to explain... at a PTO
officer meeting the other officers all started talking mixed up with me and we laughed so hard that
a teacher in a nearby room came to see what was going on... we didn't even try to explain
Sometimes I just can't remember a word or name...I introduced myself with my former last name yesterday
at a PTO /room parent meeting... it hasn't been my last name in 11 years... then I remembered it was my
ex husbands birthday and figured subconsciously he may have been on my mind...
Typing I have to check and recheck what I have eritten... writing out things long hand I have fewer
problems... I figure this has to do with the way my brain is wired ... I type faster but have to watch tip
of pen or pencil so I am more aware of what is being put down... now that sound last part sounds
confusing...hope you get what I mean... I re-wrote it to be clearer and it still isn't just right...
Long story short... I have learned to laugh about these bumps... it is better than getting upset and
crying...and also spell check here is a must...
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or the thing where I insert totally unrelated words in a sentence... refrigerator is my favorite..
went thru a spell of it popping up in sentences several times a day... I would sub it for a noun in
a sentence .. Give it to the refrigerator. instead of Give it to the man.
ok...this totally cracked me up!! Refrigerator is MY word too!! I think I use it for every appliance we have in the house!!
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I haven't even had treatment yet, and I transpose numbers and letters all the time. If I go to the grocery store, I better bring a list because I will forget before I get to the store. Also, my hearing loss seems to be getting worse, and it is so frustrating to ask what did you say? My husband gets upset with me if I ask hiim twice, so he either gives up asking me or yells out what he said. I know that this is the beginning of the journey, but, I have always had a mind like a steel trap. I can remember things from years ago, but, I forget what someone may have told me an hour ago. Two weeks ago I was processing payroll at work. I checked everything out to make sure it was correct, printed all the reports and transferred all the funds to the proper accounts. I went home that night at went to bed knowing something was bothering me, but, I couldn't figure it out. The next morning at 5 AM, I was packing my husband and daughters lunch, and it hit me. Did I transmit the payroll? I DIDN'T. I had to go in and transmit and contact the payroll company to make sure that everyone would get paid the next day and delivered today. Thank God I remembered. I guess that's part of this crap of the AN. My husband says maybe it's time for treatment and not wait and watch, but, as long as that is all I have to deal with right now, I guess I will wait till January for the next MRI, and go from there.
Thanks for listening.
Laura
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Unbelievable!! The word I most mistakenly use is "refrigerator". There has to be something to that!!!!
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that is odd that three of us use refrigerator instead of word we need....
refrigerator for me can be the truck, the door, the cat or any number of things...always
a noun ...something scary is people are getting used to me and know what I mean even
though I said refrigerator.
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Gosh, I have to admit I asked my hairdresser to figure out how much I should give her to get singles back for change. :( Some days numbers really confuse me. I never ever had this trouble before. I always did math with fractions, decimals, and hand calculations. Now, my brain works like jello with numbers.
But facility with words is coming back very well. Today I put 'admonition' in a question to my audiologist. I was so impressed with myself! ;D Some of the word hamsters are sorting the files correctly! :D
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ok, so I'm wondering...was your AN right or left? I'm not sure if that has anything to do with this problem or not, but the left brain is the word and number side of the brain....ya never know.
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My AN was right side.
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My AN is on my left side. Go figure
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Left side--can't do math at ALL anymore! Really. My bread machine timer. I have to figure out what time the dinger will go off to take the paddle out cuz I can't hear the dang thing and I always miss it cuz I can't figger out the subtraction for my little egg timer I have in the studio. Thinking about carrying the bread machine around the house attached to a long extension cord. Or putting it next to a baby monitor. But my art ROCKS!
Capt Deb 8)
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Left side. Simple addition, subtraction, multiplication not so simple anymore. For me, it's a two-fold problem - besides the fact that these processes truly are more difficult for my brain, I no longer trust that I'm going to get it right. Since these exercises usually involve something semi-critical like household finances, I resort (grudgingly) to a calculator. I know, I know....I should practice doing math problems. Ick. :(
Adrienne
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OK, I hate to be a contrarian here, but I had a left side AN removed in 2002 via the T/L approach and for the past 5 years, in addition to my full-time job, I have done extensive part-time math tutoring so I apparently don't have significant cognitive deficits (although my students might choose to disagree with that statement!).
Route66
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For me it's not a math problem per se, but I have become quite number dyslexic since surgery, to the point that others are noticing the difference (like my boss!)...so sometimes doing things with numbers just doesn't feel right. I have to type a lot of addresses, and I flip those a lot (never used to) and vehicle VIN numbers are the worst. I have to very carefully doublecheck myself because I don't always notice when the numbers aren't right, I just "see" all the same numbers and think it's right. It's not that I can't do it or math, just that I have to do it slowly and carefully and not assume I'm correct anymore.
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No numbers issue here, either - thank goodness since I'm an accountant.
I do, however, mix my words up A LOT since the AN surgery.
Jan
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I don't necessarily have number probems much either and I never could add/subtract/mulitply/divide w/out a calculator...so we can't exactly blame that on the surgery!!
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right side but have had migraines that just effect left side for years even prior to AN...
Math is scary...
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I emailed Dr. Brackmann about this and he replyed saying it was "apparently due to some swelling of the temporal lobe" but it's temporary? My surgery was over two years ago, so I wonder how long temporary is??
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Hi all,
I haven't had my surgery yet but I mess words up all the time or completely forget what I'm saying mid sentence, what were we talking about!
Anyway I also have a RUBBISH memory I can remember what I did 2 years ago but ask me what was said to me 2 minutes ago and .....der! can't remember, terriable.
Can't say much for my mathmatics thats always been rubbish, and another thing I have corrected numerous typo's on this post because my typing has gone down the drain.
lets hope things don't get any worse after surgery or I may have to write my name and address on my hand everytime I go out.
Cheryl, XxX
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Cheryl, Prior to surgery I had a horrible time with words and forgetting what I was talking about. It was MUCH worse in the weeks before surgery than it is now. I still have problems but not as often.
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Yes of course I also forget what I was going to say... thats the worst. And when writting or typing I will spell wrong or put numbers with letters.For instance..... hel2p... weird things like that...... :'( It is embarrasing especiaaly when Im in this conversation and I have to just say "oh forget it" because it has left my mind. see look how I just spelled especially?? geez
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I get so embarrased and frustrated in social situations with SSD and memory problems. Many times I can't come up with a simple word and will have to explain in detail what I want, for example I went to the store with the intention of buying mascara, but couldn't come up with the word mascara, so instead had to say "the stuff in the tube you use for your eyelashes". The sales girl looked at me like a complete idiot.
Cheryl
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having the same issues of where is the right word, which direction is hot or cold water, what is 10-9=, what was I doing, and so on....
A behavioral specialist, a friend of mine, said, it's not that I lost it, it's still there , it is because the executive part of the brain gets tired and it trying to tell me to rest.
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after last week I was barely able to tell you my name ... a friend and I stopped to eat between picking
up last minute things for school fall festival and I was worn out and tired and if in right mind would
have gone home ... I don't remember what I was trying to say or what I actually said but we laughed
at it and then the rest of the afternoon everything was funny even if it wasn't ...at least it became
contagious and she was as nuts as I was ... made me look less nutty
I got my area set up and bilked children out of money selling them blow pops off a lolly pop tree for 50c in
hopes of winning a prize ( actually I did give a way a CD player, a DVD player ,a back pack and about 200
$1 toys given to us by our local Dollar store ) ... kinda mindless work and we were at the end of two
converging halls away from crowded area so wasn't too noisy...
but Saturday and Sunday my body refused to do what my brain was telling it and I was having severe
problems putting together sentences ... I laughed with family but was kinda scared inside because I
have heard three year old talk more clearly... I was aware of what was going on but couldn't stop it ..
still tired but I can once again speak English :)
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Hi Soundy,
I'm the same way when I'm tired. I know what I want to say but everything I say doesn't make any sense. My sons look at me like I have 3 heads. The other night my 16 yr old said "Mom, you don't make any sense, just go to bed". Out of the mouth of babes ???
My husband still cannot understand why I get so tired. From what I understand it is something we are all going to have to live with.
Anne Marie
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I totally understand. I'm sooooo glad I'm not the only one. I was always wondering why I would be talking and suddenly I would stop...(as the person is starring at me waiting for me to finish my story) & I would look at the person with a blank stare because I had forgotten what I was saying. LOL. I also have a problem typing. I used to be a very quick typer but now I transpose letters & I cant spel worth a darn anymore. Please forgive my spelling. :D
As for speech...I jumble my words. I used to be a quick with the tongue.....NOT ANYMORE!!!!!! People who dont understand or know me might think I have a speech impediment.....SPELLING......ARGHHHHHH......
Us AN'er......we understand eachother.
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I mixed up words before the surgery. Now I just blame it on "the little piece of brain that musta been stuck to the tumor when they removed it". I plan to blame everything on the little piece. I wonder how long I can use that as an excuse?
I find myself way more forgetful than I used to be. I now make lists of chores I want to do the next day. Otherwise I forget to do them. Hmm...that may not be accidental ;)
Donna
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OMG, Matti, I do that all the time and feel exactly the same, like a complete and total idiot. Simple words like that just won't come to me when they were just an instant ago. I am really sick and tired of it and when I try and tell my husband these things, he thinks I'm over exaggerating it. I feel so frustrated and am left to just go on and deal with it. Nobody seems to understand. Then if I try to say how I get fatigued alot, he thinks I make that up too, but it's ok for him to sit on the couch at any given time during the day and fall asleep after about 2 minutes but if I say anything to him I get "I'm tired", and that's ok, he's allowed, because I'll run around and do everything so he can sleep. He doesn't get it that even though my surgery has been a long time ago, I'm still having trouble. I just want to smack him sometimes. Ok, so maybe I should have put this one in the vent thread! :-\
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Hello Static,
I am also one that try’s to please my husband but that's my Spaniard background.
When I do things like that my husband says what are you trying to tell me so he repeats what I said and it is nothing I wanted to say.
What is the cause I do not know?
But my husband is very understanding, when I'm tired he allows me to sleep like tonight I came home from my son's for thanksgiving I slept for 5 hours on the coach and he kept the football game very low so it would not disturb me .My sons wonderful wife has made dinner for the past couple of years since I have had surgery because it is to much for me.
eve
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I was mixing up words before diagnosis of my 9th cranial nerve schwannoma and my husband was also before his diagnosis of a meningioma. After talking to our neurologists (we go to different ones), they both concurred that happens when you have lots on your mind. Hey, we've caught so many people doing it now that we actually pay attention - especially people on the news/weather on T.V. We are in Florida and one (young) meteorologist said that we are about to enter the rainy season!!! Hubby and I both looked at each other as this is the start of the dry season.
Sheryl
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What about when you don't have anything at all on your mind and you still can't think of what you are saying anyway? Like when you know what you want to say, but the word is lost, it's a simple word, but it's just not there, not a hard or uncommon word, an everyday word that gets lost somewhere between your brain and your mouth, several times daily. It's not the same as when I used to forget things before surgery, it's different. I can't explain it, it's just different.
~Karen
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Karen, I know what you mean. It is hard to explain to other people. I can be in the middle of a casual conversation, not really worried about anything in particular, when half way thourgh the sentence, the word just won't come out. And sometimes if it does, it isn't even the right word.
Very frustrating!!
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What about when you don't have anything at all on your mind and you still can't think of what you are saying anyway? Like when you know what you want to say, but the word is lost, it's a simple word, but it's just not there, not a hard or uncommon word, an everyday word that gets lost somewhere between your brain and your mouth, several times daily. It's not the same as when I used to forget things before surgery, it's different. I can't explain it, it's just different.
~Karen
that is how I feel ...different... I would occasionally forget something or a word pre-surgery but
now it is a daily thing and totally different... and I still stick refrigerator in alot of sentences... and I
will start out talking about the price of eggs in China and somewhere along the way end up talking
about shoes or kids or anything except for original topic... maddening...
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I felt so awful Monday...we were decorating the Christmas tree and I asked my daughter to move the ??..uh......move the ??....ugh..what the heck!? Pointing and blabbing "Just move it!" She's only 8 and didn't know what I wanted moved and neither did I apparently until after she ran from the room crying "Mommy, I don't know what you want me to move!" did I remember it was called a vacuum. :( So sad.
Kristin
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Oh Kristin...my heart goes out to you. I hate when my problem transfers to my kids.
I started this thread and I'm glad to see that I'm not alone in my word problems. I'm learning to slow down, think about what I want to say, and hope for the best.