ANA Discussion Forum
AN Community => AN Community => Topic started by: ppearl214 on November 16, 2006, 12:34:16 pm
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Ok, folks... for those I speak to here and behind the scenes... it sure seems like many are having a tough 2006, myself included....we have physical, emotional, financial, work-related, relationship whoas and I have to admit, besides my cheeky bloke spouse, one truly good thing has come out of 2006... and that is you all. All of your love and support and bad jokes and huggles and shoulders and good ears, etc. have been invaluable to me.
So, for those of you in the beginning stages of your AN journey, for those going through recent treatments... for those of us posties that remain here to help each other along...for those that have other issues going on that seems to drain you of every ounce of energy you have... for family issues that just seem never ending... for those that just need to take a deep breath.....since it's Thanksgiving (in the USA) next week and we DO have a lot to be thankful for.... it's time we take back what is rightfully ours..... our lives. Sing it with me now!ÂÂ
(Bon Jovi's "It's my life!" )
This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud
Chorus:
It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life
This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks
Chorus:
It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
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Thanks for the 'UP BEAT' Nancy
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Thank you, Phyl! Goodness knows it's sometimes hard to remember how much there is to be thankful for!!
See ya Sunday!! :-*
Katie
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I can't begin to put into words how fortunate and blessed I am to have found all of you. The support, prayers, laughter and love I find here means the world to me, Thank you!!!!!
Phyl, I'm singing with you and thank you for the beautiful post.
hugs,
Cheryl
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Ditto...and I'll share my mantra for this AN journey (I know, I know, I claim to be a headbanger, and I'm giving you pop lyrics):
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, oh, oh
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
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don't be headbanging just yet, Gennysmom... you just got your head fixed! :)
Hang tough folks!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're gonna get through all this crap! I just know it... I just feel it!
btw, Cheryl, Beanie sends her virtual boyfriend a hearty woof-arf-arf-woof-heh-arf! :) She said he'd know what it means! :)
xoxoxo and all that good stuff!
Phyl
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Thanks all for the great song lyrics and up lift. I am Thankful this Thanksgiving for so many things, but so very Thankful for the support on this forum and the behind the scene fun, joking and support. I never thought I'd have such a conncetion with people I've never met face to face. (Is this how on line affairs work?? LOL)
Ponder this......................(no not a song, I can't carry a tune, 1/2 deaf you know? LOL)
*If you woke up this morning with more health than illness....you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.
*If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation...you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
*If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death... you are more blessed than 3 billion people in the world
*If you have food in the refridgerator, clothes on your back,a roof overhead, and a place to sleep... you are richer than 75% of this world.
*If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace...you are among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.
*If you hold up your head with a smile on your face, and are truly thankful... you are belssed because the majority can, but most do not.
*If you can hold someone's hand, hug them, or even tough them on the shoulder...you are blessed because you can offer healing touch.
*If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you to send it to you, and furthermore, you are more blessed than over 2 billion people in the world that cannot read at all.
Have a wonderful day,
Huggles
Patti UT
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Good one Patti! Hey, we're always up for a little lovin' on line, affair or not! :-* :-* :-* :-*
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Hi PattI: always good to keep life in perspective
I enjoyed the reading. You have a wonderful day too girlfriend.
Nancy
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I have to tell you all how blessed that i am . The DR.S told me that the first 2 days would be the worst.. I slept for 2 days , no pain, they did say that i got sick after surgery in the Icu... And on the 3rd day they took me to my own room . between my husband and the nurses I walked the whole length of the halls back and forth ,, The DRS was in awl they couldnt believe that I was up and about the 5th day I was released to the seton hall.. I came home the 8th day.. traveled back to Missouri... I have been home 2 days,,I am tired but I am alive and still kicken,,,I have a small twitch in the left eye and dry eyes. dizzy when i am in the sun...they sun effects my eyes which in turn controls my eyes ...I love each and everyone of you... thanks again....ppearl you are the best girlll good luck on your cruise Linda
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We are a blessed bunch.............and some of us very talented. Happy Thanksgiving and Hugs to all.
BrendaO
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Well said everyone. Happy Thanksgiving to all.ÂÂ
Kathy
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It's a new fresh day folks (well, at least for most of us at the time of this writing... Laz is enjoying his Friday eve already!)
New day... fresh day.... weather may not be cooperating (neither is my hair), but it's another day towards continued wellness for all... and for those of you not have a particularly good day today......
HUGGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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It's my Life... and I'm taking it back!!!!!!!!!!!
xo
Phyl
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Great thread you wenches!
I'm still grieving the loss of my beloved Ursa after almost a month. I finally packed up all the dog bedding, food and toys and took down the shrine. This is the first time in 25 years that I've been dog-less.
I kept a house on St Croix and when I wanted to go off sailing I dropped my "kids" off at Daddy's vet clinic. Dr Love is gone all the time and I've been feeling very sad and majorly anxious, especially about the holidays. I have mixed feelings about having the family over for Thanksgiving--the noise level is really high with a 1 and 3 yr old and our house is quite small and not kid-resistant at all. But, Hey, I have a house and a family right?
You guys are the best and always help me reset my compass when it gets out of whack and starts pointing too much at my "predicament." We are truly blessed to be still able to still wobbly walk, talk, see, and breathe and somewhat hear, after having a brain tumor.
Thanks,
Huggles back atcha,
Capt Deb 8)
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ditto from down under - you guys rock
Laz
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This seems to be a *deep* thread of "thanks," and I'm an Agnostic. Love us each the way we are at the moment. Through this journey of life as a little girl I attended a Catholic church and a Lutheran church. (father C. and mother L.) We change and we grow. Right now I'm a growing AN. In two weeks from today I will be home for the first day and not have to go back to Stanford. I will begin the necrosis. We all come from different places around the world with different beliefs but, those beliefs can change and grow. (and other beliefs can die as the tumor dies) I'm giving THANKS that I'm in the era time where technology in the medical field of science, has given me and others a choice to live. Thank you for letting me be honest on this tread and always feeling welcome. *(even if I don't know pirate talk; my mind is spared and I can learn anything as, Cyberknife will give me more time) I hope all that isn't too "heavy" for you.
Bless you all,
Palace
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Cheer week...
Well, I'm now educated who the Merry Pranksters were. Perhaps people might be able to "drop-out" with this book which was recommeneded to me on this forum. Could this be our AN logo book? (when in need to "drop-out" and away from it all) The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe. I have read well over one hundred pages now. I will still be reading it after my CK. I only have a week before Stanford so, I'm getting other things in order, plus Thanksgiving week now and not much time for reading. It is amazing those people lived through all they did, or didn't do.......for that matter. (or did they?) I will find out soon.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU ALL,
Pal
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WORKIN' IT! 8)
Whatcha all doin' on TG?
We are meeting friends at a restaurant with the table in front of the fire. Can I have a glass of red wine so close to CK? (BIG GLASS?) I don't see why not.
This gal claims she "is" my guardian angel so, I'm safe on Thanksgiving.
Giving thanks for my AN angel friends I know here in town and the ones on the forum,
Palace
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CHEER UP
Again, I forgot to ask Stanford if I can have a BIG GLASS or TWO little glasses of red wine on TG day. Does anyone know? (four days before the Ct. scan and six days prior to the FSR. (CK)
8)
Hoping to Cheer-up,
Palace
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Cheryl,
Have you any thoughts on that wine? What does that dog get for TG supper? Liver is on the schedule for my dogs for X-mas. (hate that smell and dislike liver, myself; lol) I will do it for them.
Hugs from your neighbor........
Palace
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This is what mom is sayin...
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life!
and this is what i'm sayin
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
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Taylor,
It's difficul;t from afar but all I can say is that you need to hang in there. I get so depressed at the state of my health these days that it seems so easy to just take the "easy way out" but i don't. I know that things will improve. I know that I have a great support network on this forum. I know that my family support me to their best ability. Since discovering I had an AN, I always put N/A down for Doctor's name. I never went to the quack. Since then, I could write a book about all the doctors I have been to. Now that doesn't matter so much. The bit that matters is that I know that I now have many physical limitations and I have to deal with them. I can't live in the past, I have to get on with what I can do rather than moan about what I can't do anymore.
It's pretty hard though. I am the main breadwinner in my family and if I "gave up", we would have to sell our home and do without a lot of what life has to offer. SO I DON'T GIVE UP. I move on and am continually trying to improve / change my lifestyle.
I suggest that you may want to try the forward approach and don't put any barriers in the way.
I'm sure your mom is right behind you but it won't be easy for her. My family are fully aware of my issues and for example, slamming a door rings right through me - does that sstop them from doing it on occaisions - absolutely not - they forget or don't realise what the actual effect is. I just quietly say, please don't slam the door. I could go ballistic but it wouldn't do any good. Unless you experience this thing and its effects, its very hard to understand the feeling. I understand that others cannot fully appreciate what we go through.
Try, try and be positive - you will get better, you will enjoy life again but you must think positive.
Laz
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Taylor,
Your poem is powerful.
I felt/saw so many images.
Thanks so very much.
Windsong
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taylor,
that was gorgeous! Thank you so much for sharing the poem with us! Laz is right... I am a firm believer of mind over body. Keep those mental spirits up, even on thos "not-so-good days" and your mind will rule the body! :)
Hang in there... and Thanksgiving is full of thanks for all of us today! May all of our day today be filled with love, reflection, understanding, hope and joy!
xo
Phyl
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Hello my ANA forum family,
I just returned from a great Thanksgiving dinner. The whole day I have been thinking of you on this forum, the CK board and the Stanford Team. Without you (Mark, Phyl, Capt Deb, Sue, Matti, shoegirl, Bev and many, many others) I will not be where I am today --- doing great only 4 months post CK. I am truly, truly grateful to all of you. Wish you are having a wonderful and peaceful Thanksgiving Day with your loved ones! (Kind of a belated celebration since I am on the West Coast).  ;D
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Thank you for the uplifting note. I struggle as a 31 year old woman who is one and a half years post-op. My life has changed dramatically. I get very sad and angry at times. The only thing that keeps me positive is the fact that I have seen worse. As a physician I see worse everyday. In August 2003, about a year and a half before my diagnosis my best friend's husband was dying from a malignant brain tumor. I didn't even know I had my tumor. I watched him suffer so and struggled with mortality. I always think of Joe. His wife and son are doing great. I think to myself that if G-d wanted me to die he could have given me a maligant brain tumor instead of the benign one I had. not to downplay any of my missery and pain but he is now my angel. He always was. I had admidered his courage and strength throughout his ordeal but now I live every day for me with him in my heart and his son on my sleeve.
G-d bless
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What can I say? Inspiring stuff everybody!!
Paul