ANA Discussion Forum
Post-Treatment => Post-Treatment => Topic started by: knit78 on November 10, 2012, 07:34:27 pm
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So I had my retrosig surgery November 2nd. The path leading to that day was filled with fear, anxiety, anticipation, and longing for it to be done so that I could go forward with my life. The day of surgery, I really did just want to go home. But I had put my trust in my amazing surgical team in Massachusetts General Hospital with Drs. Barker and Quesnell. I had amazing care. Truly. I cannot say enough about MGH and should ever have to choose a facility for your craniotomy I fully promote MGH. I swear they filter some kind of special chemical in the air because every employee...no matter how high or low on the ladder...was kind, tender, and caring. I'm so grateful for their tender care.
So I woke from surgery with no facial issues but did lose total hearing in my right ear. I was okay with this. I came home 4 days later. I think I was ready. My PT and OT had released me and everyone seemed fairly impressed with my progress. I had a good first full day at home. My mother kindly helped me wash my hair and fee more human. I went to the grocery store and enjoyed driving the scooter around. I woke up that next morning in tears. Exhausted. Frustrated. Weak. Suddenly mourning the loss of my hearing. Afraid that I would never have my independence back. I now rotate day to day with my depression and good days. I was prepared for pain after surgery. I wasn't prepared for the general emotional roller coaster that I am experiencing.
My family and friends remind me that I had surgery one week ago. My skull was cut open. It's okay to be sad, then happy, then tired...then giddy. I'm allowed. And that I'm to allow myself the right to heal at my own pace. Rest when I need rest. Eat when I need fuel in my body. Walk when my energy is available. And let those that love and care for me help. I'm an independent woman so feeling like such a burden now is incredibily tough. But I'm trying. This is a new life lesson for me. It's okay to ask for help.
Long story short? My tumor is gone. So is my hearing. I have no regrets. I'm grateful to wake and see the sun. I'm happy to see my boyfriend and my pets and smell the crisp Autumn air. I'm grateful to be giving another chance to get my life back. I do not regret. But I must accept and cope. I must allow my body to heal and take this time for myself. For the first time in my life.
Thank you for listening. I don't always feel that everyone else around me understands. The elation and the loss combined all at once.
Nikki
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I can understand your feelings. I was all over the place when I learned about Ms An residing in my brain. I am facing surgery this week and I am sure I will be all over the place emotionally. But you are on the road to recovery. I have all this to look forward to ugh
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Nikki-
I hear what you are saying. Like you, I looked forward to this surgery so I could have it, then, get on with my life. I think I underestimated recovery. After five days, I posted here-would I ever get better?- and I was told one needs time and patience .. the folks on the forum assured me it would get better. And every day seems a teeny bit better, but baby steps are hard to take when we've been used to working and doing. Give yourself time to rest and heal. This was pretty big surgery!
I have read that Massachusetts General and Dr. Barker are among the very best for this type of surgery, and I hope that brings you comfort. Plus prayers!
Let's hang in there...Mil
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Welcome to the other side. You and your family and friends are wise in realizing the emotional roller coaster can be very normal after going through treatment for these tumors. It sounds like you are doing very well at this point. Most of us want to be better right away and it can be discouraging to realize it takes time to rehab. I'm three months post surgery and I'm feeling so much better than I did a couple months ago. I'll be interested in continuing to hear about your progress as well as Mil's
Karen
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Hi Nikki. Welcome to the other side.Tomorrow I have my one year MRI and follow up with McKenna/Barker @MGH. After many early complications I have recovered quite nicely.Give it time and you will adapt to SSD and balance issues.The new normal is pretty good and I am back golfing,boating, and working out.I do miss my stereo hearing and avoid loud places but life is good.Keep your chin up ,give it time and enjoy being on the other side. peace dave
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Nikki,
Although the journey may not be over, you are definitely on the downhill. This old girl ran 3 miles Saturday and enjoyed the beautiful fall day. Be patient with yourself. So glad the surgery went well.
Susan