ANA Discussion Forum
General Category => Inquiries => Topic started by: phx on February 05, 2010, 10:56:00 pm
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Was anyone afraid for their life? Seriously...you know...that possibility?...
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Honestly, no I wasn't.
I had great confidence in my doctors and their abilities and while I knew that all surgeries have risks, I never felt that my surgery would be fatal.
I hope you don't mind me asking, but have you thought about putting your surgery on hold for a few weeks - or possibly months - until you are more comfortable with the idea of surgery? While it's common to be nervous, anxious, and scared when diagnosed with an AN, I personally don't think anyone should go into surgery with as many fears as you seem to have.
I think the majority of us who had surgery got to a point where we were at least reasonably comfortable with it, but I'm not sensing that in you.
I know your AN is large, but ANs are typically very slow growing, so IMO you shouldn't rush into surgery if you are this frightened. Perhaps you should take some time to contemplate things before you move ahead. Surgeries can always be rescheduled.
It's also extremely important that you have faith and confidence in your doctors and I don't sense that either. Not that doctors are infallible - afterall, they are only human - but you need to make sure that they have done enough AN surgeries to be considered "experienced" in this area.
Best,
Jan
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Absolutely NOT. I never had even a thought. VERY skilled surgeons who do these surgeries all the time- you will be in good hands
Have faith, you'll be fine :)
Maureen :) :) :)
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Seventy years ago they were, it was a dicey operation back in the old days. It has come a long way since, and the dire outcomes are very rare now. There is still a small chance you will get hit by a truck while you are driving to the hospital, though. :P
I agree with Jan, it really helps to reach a comfort level with your surgeons before you go in. No one is entirely comfortable with the prospect of head surgery, but you should feel safe, and confident that you will be back on the forum afterward to tell us all about it. Which you will be.
Steve
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Is there a way I can find out without asking the doctors themselves if they've got "enough experience". What is considered enough experience anyway? It'd be good if someone knew the doctors I'm seeing. True, I feel like I don't know my doctors well enough. Every time I ask them a question about their credibility, I feel like they think I'm doubting them. I've already asked them and they've only good things to say. Any other source? But seriously, with the surgery happening, I only want to hear things that are positive, of course unless it's a must know.
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Kenneth Reichert and Steven Harvey, right?
You can watch a video they did in 2007 for OR-Live:
http://www.orlive.com/prohealthcare/videos/prohealth-care-to-webcast-educational-brain-surgery-program
They must be pretty good at it, anyway. ;)
Steve
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Thanks sgerrard!! for the link. I would've never found it. This video has helped me a lot. I'm glad that you posted it. If anyone else watches it, let me know what you think.
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I agree with Jan if you have that many fears and are not sure with the surgeons I would do more research I am a believer in gut instinct there is a Website if you are good with computers I am not my son found it where they have information for free about Hospitals and Doctors if you can locate that site it might help with your fears.
Best Wishes,
Pat
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Pat ~
I'm glad the video helped and I concur with my fellow moderator, Steve, that, based on the posts you've made expressing all sorts of fears and worries about the operation, perhaps you should postpone your surgery until such time as you can handle it better. Going into this surgery scared to death and thinking you're going to die on the table is a poor way to begin what is a long process (surgery and recovery). We want the best possible outcome for you and right now, you seem to be borderline-panicky as surgery day approaches. That is not a good frame of mind to bring into the OR.
Researching your doctor's experience is a good idea and learning all you can about the 'nuts and bolts' of the operation is always helpful. I did this and so have many other AN patients. Knowledge really is power. However, there is a point where you have to simply 'let go' and trust the professionals to do their job. If you're not prepared to do that and still entertain fears of dying during the surgery - the mortality rate stands at barely 1% - then you may not be emotionally prepared for this operation and should consider postponing it. If not, try to avoid always thinking about the very worst things that could happen and try to focus on the fact that (a) the surgery is necessary and, (b) it will very likely go quite well, as most do. Your fears are not invalid but it appears (from your posts) as if you're dwelling on all the possible negatives and ignoring the positive aspects of the surgery. Thousands of people have successfully undergone AN surgery and the vast majority do just fine. Yes, some issues could arise and yes, there will be some discomfort and adjustments will have to be made, post-op. This is not a simple surgery - but it's a very necessary one. Please try to perform more research (to gain a better feeling of control) and do whatever is necessary to assure yourself that your doctors are fully competent and that you'll do well. We'll support whatever decisions you make. We know the kinds of anxiety you're dealing with (we've been there) and want you to gain more confidence. We'll collectively do all we can to help you achieve that state of mind.
Jim
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Great advice from the others. I wouldn't go into surgery, or anything, if I didn't feel confident in the person I hired to do it. Just remember, there's more than one guy out there who is qualifed to do AN surgery - you don't have to use the first one you come across. Sometimes, he's just not the right guy for you.
To answer your initial question - no, I never once thought about my life being in peril during my surgery. I trusted my research, I trusted my surgeons, I trusted the hospital and staff and I knew that worrying over something I had no control over would be a waste of energy that I needed to save for my healing afterwards - and I truly believed I would be around to heal afterwards!
Take a deep breath....relax....try not to let this consume all your time. I don't know how old you said your kids were, but I think I recall reading that they're little - go play Candy Land, or Barbies or whatever, with them. Focus on the good things in your life and believe that there will be good things after your surgery too. If you're like me, you'll probably learn to appreciate those things a little bit more afterwards.
Lori
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Okay, I'll be the voice of dissent here.. While I wasn't 'scared' of surgery per se, my sugery did prompt me to 'finalize' some legal documents (like a will) beforehand 'just in case'. I was convinced that I wouldn't die, but I always had a little voice of 'what if' and wanted be prepared against that very unlikely scenario... So, I had a lawyer friend of mine draw up some documents for me.. I feel somewhat foolish about it now, but it needed to be done just the same.. Never know when that bus from nowhere is going to take me out one day. ;)
Like others, I was extremly confident in my surgeons.. I was nervous going into surgery, but as my wife always tells me to do, I had my butterflies flying in formation at the time.. :)
Regards,
Brian
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I'm with Pooter. I cautiously prepared, but I realized that there was very little risk that the worst case scenario would come to pass. The only time I was really "afraid" was when they were wheeling me back and then I had a minute or two that I was a little panicked. Eek! It all turned out fine, though. Look at the statistics, and those even include older patients and those with other complicating situations.
Lyn
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Okay, I'll be the voice of dissent here. While I wasn't 'scared' of surgery per se, my surgery did prompt me to 'finalize' some legal documents (like a will) beforehand 'just in case'. I was convinced that I wouldn't die, but I always had a little voice of 'what if' and wanted be prepared against that very unlikely scenario... So, I had a lawyer friend of mine draw up some documents for me.. I feel somewhat foolish about it now, but it needed to be done just the same.. Never know when that bus from nowhere is going to take me out one day. ;)
Like others, I was extremely confident in my surgeons.. I was nervous going into surgery, but as my wife always tells me to do, I had my butterflies flying in formation at the time.. :)
Brian ~
Nothing wrong with making out a will prior to any serious surgery (many folks do this as a matter of course) but our friend, Pat (phx) seems to be fixated on the negatives involved with surgery while you were confident and just being prudent. She seems to fear that her life is in real danger from this operation. Actually, the mortality rate from a tonsillectomy is about the same as the mortality rate from an acoustic neuroma removal surgery (1% - or less). So, while your decision to 'take care of business' may have been prompted by your surgery, which is not terribly unusual, Pat fears that she may actually die from AN surgery. While reality forces one to admit that this is possible (the 1% mortality rate can't be ignored) there is a vast difference in simply being prudent (making out a will, etc) and actually thinking that this operation could result in your death. This is the salient point. However, your dissent (and that of our almost-an-attorney, Lyn) is hardly all that contradictory, just another point of view on a serious subject - and we always welcome other points of view. :)
Jim
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Valid distinction, Jim. I think at first, I had the same thoughts that Phx is having currently. I had convinced myself that I would die or if I didn't die that I would be a vegetable for the rest of my life. After finding this forum (the weekend after I was told on a Thursday/Friday), within a few days I had been suffiently told that a) I wouldn't die and b) I likely wouldn't be a vegetable either.. It was at that point that my butterflies starting to fly in formation, as it were.
Thanks for that distinction.. :)
Regards,
Brian
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I'm not afraid to say that I was afraid before surgery. :P I wonder if maybe it's because I'm a nurse? I don't know. I had confidence in my doctors, and knew the statistics were way in my favor, but still had that "what if?"/"stuff happens" fear. It was surely unfounded, and obviously everything turned out fine, but I'm not going to say I didn't think about the possibility everyday until surgery. Healthy, no. The truth, yes.
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Take a deep breath! Maybe trying some meditation classes will help you cope with the upcoming surgery. I can also suggest talking with your surgeon about your anxiety. Of course just talking about it helps, so speaking out here is a great way to release some of that anxiety. Hang in there. There are people out there to help you.
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Well, Phx, if you have NEVER had any other surgeries, or hospital experience of any kind, then it's totally understandable that you are scared to death. Since I've had an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, a removal of an infected gland (awake, day surgery) and various other doctor things, I probably wouldn't be as afraid as you are. But, I did not have surgery to remove my AN, so I probably shouldn't comment here at all. When I found out I was going to need a hysterectomy, I remember I was on the couch, shaking. I sure didn't want to have to go through that. But I did, and I got through it fine. Not that same thing, I know, but it was major surgery and I was in the hospital for 4 or 5 days.
Risks are there every day in our life. And like Steve said, your chances of an automobile accident is greater than anything happening in the OR. You have to "let go" and just trust these people at some point. It's not going to be a walk in the park, but believe me, there are nurses at that hospital who are going to be taking care of you and making sure you will be as comfortable as possible. Most people that have reported on here, say that the first night is kind of tough, but then it just gets better and better each day. You need to think on the positive side and embrace the fact that this can be fixed and that you will regain your life after that. The only other course of action, is to consider radiation instead of surgery. Is that possible for you? I can't remember if that's been brought up in your posts or not.
Please, find your inner peace. It's going to be okay. ;)
Sue in Vancouver, USA
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Even though I was scared about the surgery, I never thought that I wouldn't make it through it. I knew my children (24 and 20 years) still needed their mommy and I had this wonderful man, who is now my husband, at my side. (It took me 30 years to find the right man, and I wasn't letting him go so easily,lol). I had complete faith in my doctors and knew I had much more to contribute to this life. So like others have said, take a deep breath, go for some peaceful walks, write down your fears on paper- you might find it frees your mind, talk to us, talk to your family, maybe check out another surgeon to see if that changes your comfort level. It's okay to question your doctors and if they make you feel that it's not, then they may not be the right doctors for you. It's okay to put a hold on surgery while you figure everything out, and remember we are here for you.
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No...my doctors said radiation isn't really an option. My tumor's 4 cm. I'm really afraid, but I also know that I need to do this. I want to thank everyone for their posts because they've all helped me a lot.
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phx -
your doctors are part of the general concensus when it comes to radiation.
The number of doctors who will radiate an acoustic neuroma greater than 3 cms are few and far between.
I'm glad the posts on the Forum are helpful to you. As I've said before, you will get through this.
Have faith.
Jan
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Phx
Jan is totally right-you WILL get thru this. When I was in your shoes I was terrified and could not conceive of how I was going to be ok. But I am ok and you will be as well. Keep telling yourself that over and over and soon you will be on the other side of all of this and it will not seem nearly as scary as you made it out to be in your mind. Are your Drs planning on trying to remove the whole tumor or debulk it and do radiation if necessary? I know with bigger tumors like yours and mine, surgeons will sometimes just debulk the tumor and then follow up with radiation in order the preserve the facial nerve.
Erin