ANA Discussion Forum
General Category => Hearing Issues => Topic started by: Nancy Drew on June 04, 2008, 07:27:15 pm
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I have some hearing loss related to my AN, and it is especially frustrating with the background noise. Hearing in public is hard and sometimes almost impossible when I am around people who have soft voices. I hate having to ask people to repeat themselves or telling people that I have a hearing problem. Those close to me forget to speak up, even my husband. I see those Deaf Left, Deaf Right pins for sale on this site, and I was wondering if anyone actually wears them. Sometimes I feel like getting one even though I still have some hearing in that ear. But, I don't want to label myself and stand out. Does anybody have any ideas about how to cope with poor hearing other than asking people to speak up. I am seriously sick and tired of this problem. Thanks. Nancy
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Nancy I found it helpful to wear one earring, yes, only one. The conversation always started with "You are missing one of your earrings". Then I could take the opportunity to say "I need you to speak to me in this good ear, the one with my earring". Now if you wear an earring in that one ear, you'll find people beginning to accept and choose your good side. It is sad to say but having people know that we're okay because we still have one good ear makes them think we are not handicapped at all. We are handicapped in a very hidden way. People cannot validate what they can't see. I find that my friends will mention when I am not wearing my earring now.
I have a pin that says Deaf Right with symbols but I find wearing it on my lapel not as effective as the one earring. The pin is a little large to be made into an earring. I wish I could find an artisan who could market earrings shaped like ears with the symbols for good ear deaf ear but I can't locate it.
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Boppie, What a good idea, and I am glad it works for you. Maybe the ANA site could come up with such a "hearing" earring to sell. Or, perhaps someone will see this post and create such an earring and get rich, and then you will be sad that you didn't get credit or a dime in your pocket!!! Run to the patent office! I have pierced ears, but I find earrings bothersome. But, if I get desperate enough maybe I'll give it a try. I love creativity. Thanks for sharing. Nancy
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Nancy, since you still have some hearing in the AN ear why not get a high quality hearing aid, or CROS type aid?
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That is a question to ask my doctor. I am awaiting a recommendation from a panel of doctors whom are reviewing my case. AN doctor suggests gamma knife, but I would be content to continue to wait and watch if I could benefit from a hearing aid. But, I also do worry that with wait and watch I could lose additional hearing and have other problems arise as well. My understanding is that small tumors such as mine respond very well to radiosurgery. Lots to think about. Nancy
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Beeing in the same "boat" as you with SSD I have worn the "pin" as I find it helped when people talked to me at stores and I wouldn't respond as they were talking to me on my deaf side. When I turned in their direction I noticed them just staring at me then the pin---they got it then! I didn't have to go into any explanation and they nodded their heads. Guess they were thinking I was rude not to respond until they read the pin. I have been taking lip reading classes and have offered "tips" on the "Hearing Issues" site that come in handy. I ask people face me while talking so I can read their lips, also I ask they slow down their speech to annunciate clearly works better than raising their voice. "I hear you but I don't understand you." is more often my case. Another way to get people to repeat what they've said is to ask them to "Say that in a different way." I too got tired of asking people to "Say that again."
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For me, the best way to ensure I'll be able to hear OK is to try and control my environment as much as possible, and since I've been hard of hearing since childhood, I've had lots of practice doing that! (I formerly had serious loss in my left ear and mild loss in the right, and since the AN am deaf in what was formerly my "good" ear, making things that much more tricky...)
Like Arushi, in a one on one or small group situation, I try to get people to look at me so I can lip read, and in a lecture/theater type situation, I try to be seated as near the front as possible so I'll be able to see people's faces/mouths. If I can't be directly in front of the speaker, I try to make sure the off-center seating has them on my left (or "good") side.
When I go out with friends to a restaurant, they are all aware at this point that if I'm not sitting in the "right" spot at the table (ideally with them to my left and the bulk of the restaurant's noise on the right), I won't be able to follow the conversation. And I gravitate towards restaurants that aren't small and crowded--that's a sure recipe for chaotic, overwhelming noise.
I'm an expert on which movie theaters have the best acoustics and sound systems--it's really boring and frustrating to sit through 2 hours of something you were looking forward to seeing and then have no idea what's going on... (though by now I've of course developed my ability to creatively--and pretty accurately--fill in the "gaps" when I can hear at least 2/3 of dialog in a movie or show). And sitting slightly off center in the theater (so that my deaf right ear is closest to a wall and my hearing left ear picks up as much Dolby stereo sound as possible!) seems to help, too.
When I'm walking with someone, I gently coax them to walk on my "good" side. What's funny is that since my "good" side shifted after almost 10 years of marriage, for the first couple of years after my AN surgery, my husband kept getting confused about which side of me he needed to be on!
Parties are just plain tough. I try to find the quietest corner of the room and stick with the smallest conversational groups possible, but mostly, they're still...tough!
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Nancy -
the pins are very useful in certain situations - I ordered two of them shortly after my surgery. I keep one in my home and one in my office so there is always one accessible to me. They are fairly large which makes them very noticeable and they easily get the message across.
I don't wear my pin very often, but IMO they are great when worn in a crowd. I think Lori gave an example of wearing hers on an airplane not too long ago and found it very helpful. It saves you a lot of explaining and the misconception that you are just being rude by not responding to someone talking to you.
The pins are relatively inexpensive, so even if you only wear one on occasion it's well worth the price.
Jan
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Nancy -
Jan was right - I've only worn mine when traveling. I remember someone on the forum mentioning a problem they had when security thought she was ignoring them, but actually, she couldn't hear them. I always try to make things as pain free as possible when dealing with airport security, since they ultimately decide if I get on my plane or not, so I wear the pin. It also comes in handy when trying to talk to ticketing agents or salespeople in a very noisy airport - it keeps you from having to ask them to repeat themselves. And I like the idea of the flight attendants knowing my situation so if there's something going on that I need to know about, they can make sure I know.
Other than that, I generally try to avoid noisy, crowded places if possible. I do keep the pin in my purse just in case. It is a little bigger than I'd like it to be, but I guess if you want it to be seen, it has to be on the large side. Although, I'm pretty sure I could wear a billboard and some people still wouldn't notice!
I've also let everyone I know to talk to me on the side with the watch. That works great unless I forget to wear my watch that day... :-\
Lori
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I have found since I have been deaf on the right since 2001 that after so long it just becomes standard procedure to say that I can't hear well when out in public. Then becoming very close to deaf on the left those last few months was very interesting. It varied what I would say. I would occ even say I was deaf to see how a clerk would react. A rare few would write an amount. Most places have it where you can see amounts on the register or monitor so that wasn't too hard. I haven't flew anywhere since I was real bad off but last summer did and going thru security was not fun. I have the pins and don't use them. Last winter a patient gave me a pin that says Speak Up that she had got. it was really given out by some group and had a different meaning of use. I did wear it some.
I am just so happy to be back to having better left sided hearing after this recent surgery. I don't think my dr expected it to happen.
Cheryl R
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So happy to hear that your hearing has improved Cheryl. Life is full of wonders! Some good ideas here that I will ponder. Thanks. Nancy
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Hello digby,
Hello Nancy Drew
For myself , I have gotten use to it. I sometimes act like I heard them. But if it looks like they are wanting for an answer then I ask them to repeat themselves. At a store, I go by their reaction. They don't seem to mine to repeat themselves if you tell them you are deaf they seem to be more understanding.
eve
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Eve,
I kind of do the same as you do. I was at a takeout restaurant a week ago, and the guy behind the counter said something to me I didn't understand, and I just said "thank you" thinking that would be an ok answer. When I got back to my car, I looked at my receipt, and the guy had given me a $3 discount on my salad. Then I realized that he had said thank you for volunteering. I was wearing my volunteer shirt from The Children's Hospital. They either give volunteers a discount or he knew a child who had been treated there. But, it would have been nice to say "your welcome" instead of "thank you" just so he would know that I appreciated his nice words. I am saying more and more to people that I have a hard time hearing. It works for the most part, but I still have to remind sometimes (mostly my husband!).
Nancy
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But Nancy Drew ,
You did say you welcome by say Thank You! You were thanking him for say thank you too. But at the time you didn’t know. It is so funny that sometimes we do the right thing with out knowing.
eve
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Nancy,
Back in the 80's I went to a ANA Symposium and met a lady that had an earring dangling off her deaf ear that communicated that she was deaf in that ear. I can't remember if it just said "deaf ear" or what but I thought it was the coolest thing. I asked her about it and she said she had had it special made by a jeweler and would let ANA know about it. I've never heard anything since. My hair is a lot longer now than my picture on this site and it covers my ears but I'd still get a third hole in my ear to wear this earring and maybe even cut my hair if I could get one of these. :o
Cindy
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Eve,
So right about saying the right thing and not knowing it. I guess you are right that it was ok to say thanks and it actually meaning your welcome. Just frustrated that I didn't figure out what he said until I got to the car. I thought back, and I sort of remembered the "vol-teer" part especially after looking at the receipt. Cindy, I think there is something about the earring idea at the top of this post, but in a different way. Would be a good idea to have something like this on AN board. Maybe I could find someone really crafty to come up with something like this. Nancy