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AN Community => AN Community => Topic started by: kraynok2 on May 31, 2011, 05:21:13 pm

Title: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: kraynok2 on May 31, 2011, 05:21:13 pm: I have not forgot my friends on here, but have not been posting, as we spent the weekend going back and forth to the hospital for my mother-in-law. We got a call at midnight Thursday that my mother-in-law was found lying unconscious in the driveway. Her local hospital life-flighted her to Pittsburgh where it was discovered that she had an aneurysm. She is 88 years old and was in a coma with no responses to commands. There were involuntary movements of her left side and her head moving around. However, she is most likely blind in her right eye and paralyzed, arm and leg on the right side. A respirator was put in, along with feeding and other ivs. We prayed to be able to make a wise decision, as no one could tell if she was in pain or could hear or comprehend anything. Monday we met with a different doctor who really told it like it is. This doctor has been through this personally 3 times with family members and a friend, so was speaking from experience. She said my mother-in-law will probably not ever recover. The bleeding in the head is the worst several of them have ever seen. She said we could not leave the respiratory tube in long. The options were to take it out and do a tracheotomy if necessary, with a surgical feeding tube, or just take it out and let nature take its course. Doing the trach might extend life 6 months. She has a living will and does not want on machines if the problem is not fixable. We decided to take the tube out and leave it up to God--no trach. The doctor thinks she can live up to 3 weeks, but probably 7-10 days. She will be moved to a Hospice after Ed's sisters research what is available. We hope she is not suffering. Pray things will be peaceful for her.
Sandy
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: CHD63 on May 31, 2011, 05:42:17 pm: Oh Sandy .....

So sorry to hear this. Not much to say other than many, many thoughts and prayers are with you and Ed and the whole family. A very difficult time ......

Keep in touch. Clarice
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: ppearl214 on May 31, 2011, 05:42:53 pm: Sandy

I am at a loss for words. May there be no pain, may there be only peace in all hearts. I believe you are noted for Cinci, so please keep us updated.

May your faith and love of all those around you help carry you through this difficult time.

Phyl
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: yardtick on May 31, 2011, 07:56:01 pm: Sandy,

I'm very, very sorry for you and your family. The hardest thing in life is letting someone you love go.

Anne Marie
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: Kaybo on May 31, 2011, 08:05:42 pm: Sandy~

As with everyone else, I really have no words...I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

K
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: leapyrtwins on May 31, 2011, 08:13:14 pm: Sandy -

so sorry to hear this news.

Prayers and hugs to you, Ed, and the rest of your family.

Jan
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: ombrerose4 on May 31, 2011, 08:16:10 pm: Will say a peaceful prayer for you and your family.
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: dalern on May 31, 2011, 08:48:14 pm: How sad. I'm sending hugs and prayers. I DO think she can hear you, so DO keep talking to her. As an oncology nurse, I have watched a lot of things, and you'd be amazed what non-responsive patients just seem to know.
~Dale
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: moe on May 31, 2011, 09:50:23 pm: Sandy,
I am so sorry to hear of your mother in law and my prayers go out for a peaceful end of life for all involved.
Hang in there,
Maureen
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: Suu on May 31, 2011, 11:15:49 pm: Hi from me too Sandy

I've been in the same position as you recently with my MIL passing away in February. My FIL is now in hospital with secondary prostate cancer and will not be coming home. He comes out of his painkiller stupors long enough to say how much he hates being there, that the nurses don't care, and the food is terrible. :)
We sit beside him and listen.
Take care of yourself while going through this tough time mate because you need to be there for others as well. Also take comfort in knowing that your MIL has had the best SIL that she could have had.
We are lucky to have each other on here and a big hug to your and your family is on the way from Down Under.

Warmest of wishes,
Suu xxoo
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: Jim Scott on June 01, 2011, 03:11:40 pm: Sandy ~

What a terribly difficult situation for you and Ed. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. At 88, Ed's mother has lived a long life. Miracles do happen but accepting God's will for a life to end (even at an advanced age) can be hard. However, once we surrender to the reality that a person in this situation is in God's loving hands and He will do what is best, it can make the transition from life to death, easier.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your husband and of course, your mother-in-law.

Jim
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: Soundy on June 02, 2011, 07:33:53 am: Sorry to hear such sad news ... have been in that spot twice and it is never easy ... wishing your MIL a peaceful journey
hugs to you and your family as you make your way through this
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: msmaggie on June 02, 2011, 05:26:37 pm: It is so hard to say goodbye. I still miss my MIL at every family gathering and every holiday. Cherish your memories of all the good things she represents to you! Those memories will be sweet, though poignant.
Priscilla
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: saralynn143 on June 02, 2011, 05:29:44 pm: Sandy, from what you have written, you have made the right decision. Making the decision, hard as it was, is easier than making peace with it. My prayers are that your mother-in-law remains comfortable, and that you and your husband's family find that peace. God bless you all.
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: kraynok2 on June 05, 2011, 08:49:35 pm: Thanks to all of you for your thoughts and prayers. They have been helpful. Ed's mother was moved to a hospice Wednesday. She passed away Friday. Ed was with her and said she just took her last breath and it was very peaceful. We are glad she did not have to suffer or stay like this for a very long time. Once again, thanks to all of you for responding.
Sandy
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: saralynn143 on June 05, 2011, 08:54:54 pm: Our prayers are with you and your family, Sandy. May God surround you with his peace.
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: CHD63 on June 06, 2011, 05:44:01 am: Sandy .....

Many thoughts and prayers for both you and Ed as you walk through these next few days and weeks.

Clarice
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: Soundy on June 06, 2011, 08:59:38 am: I am glad she had a peaceful exit ... prayers and hugs to Ed , you and family
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: Brewers7 on June 06, 2011, 09:15:08 am: Praying for your family.
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: Kaybo on June 06, 2011, 10:19:36 am: So sorry, Sandy - thoughts and prayers coming your way!

K
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: Jim Scott on June 06, 2011, 03:24:21 pm: Sandy ~

My condolences to you and your husband on the (blessedly gentle) passing of Ed's mother. I think, in a way, prayers were answered.

Jim
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: ombrerose4 on June 06, 2011, 08:04:17 pm: So sorry for your loss :(
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: Suu on June 07, 2011, 12:18:11 am: Big cyber hug from me too.
Best wishes coming your way.
Lovenhugs,
Suu xxoo
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: ppearl214 on June 07, 2011, 03:47:20 am: Sandy

On behalf of the bloke and myself..... our very deepest condolences to you and your family/friends during this most difficult time. I'm not sure if we will still see you next week in Cinci but if by chance we do.... I have a huggle on reserve for you to help the cause.

Deepest sympathies,
Phyl
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: yardtick on June 07, 2011, 01:16:16 pm: Very heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

Anne Marie
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: Rivergirl on June 09, 2011, 06:29:53 pm: Sending my condolences.....a very tough thing to go through for loved ones as well.
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: Mei Mei on June 09, 2011, 07:32:32 pm: A big hug from me to all your wonderful family. Take your time with your grieving and remember the good times.
Mei Mei
Title: Re: Mother-in-Law is Dying
Post by: kmoltenbrey on June 15, 2011, 06:05:17 pm: Sandy,

About 5 years ago I went through something very similar with my mom. It was the most difficult time of my life and I am familiar with all the emotions that goes with your families decision. This time will be difficult, but we are here to listen if you need to talk, shout, or cry. I will be praying for you and your family.

Peace,
Kathy