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Seeking advice on helping during hospital phase

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Speechpathkate:
Hello... I will be advocate and comforter for my dear friend when her hospital stay begins next week.  I am out of state and will only be able to provide face to face support for six days... So I'm seeking advice on what does or doesn't help...and any suggestions...   Her surgery is 6/18 at the univ of Michigan med center... If anyone has helpful insights to pass on, I would greatly appreciate it!  Thank you in advance  :)

lorigasper:
Greetings!
Thank you so much for the support you're offering your friend.  As you know, each experience is different.  I'll share my story and maybe it can help guide you in your planning.
My surgery took all day and I was taken immediately to ICU.  I was there 4 days.  In there, I had round-the-clock checks.  For the first day or two, I was pretty sleepy and not much of a party animal!  I did appreciate visits from family and friends, but some came by and I just slept.  I'm wondering if local friends could help with this part and you could save your days for helping her transition to home.
I spent 1 day in a regular room to make sure I could manage myself, which went fine.  I really appreciated visits that weren't as restricted as in ICU, and I was much more "with it."
I was REALLY thankful for help transitioning to home.  I arranged things so I could have everything I needed on one level.  I appreciated extra eyes to make sure I was taking meds on schedule, eating (I slept quite a bit) and getting to follow-up appointments on time.  I'm thinking this is where you might be most helpful?  Ask your friend, though...
Maybe this will give you some ideas.  Thanks again for the help you're offering.  It's priceless!
Lori

cpchri1:
Hello Kate or ‘Speechpathkate’ –

Wow you are wonderful for your friend.  I think it could be boring for you but your presence is going to be important to your friend.  You could be a personal advocate during their ICU and hospital visit.  So depending on the surgery will depend on your involvement.  Make sure that if they don’t have family present, there is an arrangement with the hospital that they can be visited by you following the surgery, such as in ICU.  For me I had a six hour surgery; I was in ICU two days, and transferred into the hospital for two days, and then released and had to stay into the area for follow-up.  My wife was with me in the prep area prior to be taken to the surgery suite.  She awaited and after the surgery the doctors told her how I did.  Once I was transferred into the ICU she because my advocate and continued helper.  Although I was drugged up (waiting for anesthesia to wear off and on narcotics) I was cognizant and had needs.  Needed ice chips, needed my glasses, need to hear her voice, needed a blanket, etc..  When the nurses get busy on incoming into the ICU and I was somewhat stable, I was not a priority.  Now depending on the place they may not let you stay long.  But I did have an incident my second night where I was very cold and I hit the nurse-call button over and over (my wife was only allowed to stay 10 minutes per say); I was actually shivering.  But the ICU had an incoming emergency so no nurse attended to me.  I felt abandoned and since I couldn’t walk there wasn’t much I could do.  It was a scary thing for me.  Following that episode I complained and from that time on my wife was allowed to stay all she wanted and I was very thankful.  After being transferred into the hospital they wanted me to walk with a PT and I did.  But I wanted to be doing more exercise to be released and I needed someone to help me.  Once the catheter was removed I needed help getting to the bath room, getting my slippers on and so forth.  And you can help your friend because usually surgery results in balance problems unless that has already happened.  ANers need assistance to hang onto so we don’t fall after surgery during our early stages of walking.  These things may seem little but I am SO very thankful for the help I got 24 hours/day that my wife (later daughter) took shift turns to help me.  Don’t know if you’ll be able to do exactly the same (but try and stay as long as you can; even though surgery results in sleep; when I woke I needed HELP!). What helps?  1) being there to talks to 2) Assistance with little thinks (can you hand me that item, help me with my slippers, hand me chap stick, etc., and 3) Help taking little walks in the hospital hallways so the patient can be released as soon as possible.  Finally, they may need someone to help in the release process to a safe and restful place.  Craig

Speechpathkate:
Hi Lori,  Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts!  I couldn't agree more on the transition to home part and I am hoping to help her with that until others are able to provide support.  Thank you!  Kate

Speechpathkate:
Hi Craig, thank you for your thoughtful reply and for sharing your experiences!  Minutes before reading your post I was folding a baby blanket that my mom used during more than one of her hospital stays many years ago... And I was debating whether or not to bring it (or something like it) with me for my friend to use in the hospital.  So thank you for giving me one less thing to consider!!  While I'm sure she'll be sleeping a lot... I want her to, as you say, hear my voice and know that she  not alone.  I appreciate the comments about walking and  I can certainly help there.  I wish I was able to be there beyond six days, but life and my own surgery makes it impossible... So I will do what I can.  Your stats look like you have recovered well, I certainly hope that is the case!  I'm happy to know that I can come here with questions  :).  ....Kate

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