ANA Discussion Forum
Post-Treatment => Post-Treatment => Topic started by: Catflower on July 25, 2007, 09:30:39 am
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Since my AN surgery in April I find that I feel like I'm always "on edge". I feel nervous and anxious most of the time and the smallest things make me angry. Does anyone else feel like this?
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I have experienced similar results. I am a little too quick to fly off the handle at my better half or the kids. Sometimes they have to just tell me to take a step back, and then I realize that i'm being a little much.
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Yes, yes, yes !!! It comes & goes like waves. I try to catch myself so I don't do/say anything that would get me in deep doodoo.
I totally understand. Always good thoughts, Nancy
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I've had similar problems. It's like I have no patience. The worst of it is directed to my family. I'm working on chilling. It has gotten better over time. I'm nearly two years post-op now.
Jean
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I feel the exact same way. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hold everything together at work but I come home I'm brutal.
Anne Marie
P.S. I don't cry much any more because I'm on happy pills
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Wow.......we can start a club! I take lamectal to help the moods. I can direct the anger at anyone and everyone. Never used to be like that. Everyone runs for cover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! July 28th will be my two year milestone and I really thought that this would get better. Anxiety attacks, panic attacks, you name it I have it. Everytime I have another test run, I barely breathe until I get the results. Not fun.
Brendalu
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WAS COURIOUS ABOUT CYMBALTA, IS IT AN ANTI DEPRESSANT? I WONDER HOW MANY OF US ARE ON MEDICENE FOR FOR DEPRESSION OR ANXIETY ATTACKS, PRE AND POST SURGERY. JUST GETTING READY TO GO TO MY DOCTOR FOR ANXIETY PROBLEMS. I WAS PUT ON XANEX FOR JUST ONE MONTH, UNTIL THE DOCTOR TRIES TO FIND SOMETHING TO WORK FOR ME, THAT DOESN'T MAKE MY BALANCE PROBLEM ANY WORSE. PRE SURGERY I DID NOT RESPOND TO SEVERAL OF THE DEPRESSION MEDICENES. SORRY SO MANY MISTAKES. BAD COMPUTER DAY FOR ME. EYE'S ARE NOT WORKING GREAT. WISH WE HAD SPELL CHECK. ANY HOPE? BB
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THANKS BRUCE FOR THE INFO. JUST TRYING TO GET INFORMATION TO TAKE INTO THE DOCTOR ON WHAT I MIGHT TRY. I KNOW EVERYONE HAS TALKED ABOUT DIFFERENT MED'S THEY HAVE USED, AND WAS GOING TO TALK TO THE DOCTOR ABOUT A VARITY OF MED'S TALKED ABOUT ON THE WEB SITE. I KNOW EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. WHAT WORKS FOR ONE, MAY NOT WORK FOR ANOTHER. SO MANY OF THEM CAUSED MY EYE PROBLEM TO BE WORSE. HAS ANYONE STAYED ON XANEX FOR A WHILE? LIFE AT HOME HAS BEEN VERY STRESSFULL, HOPE IT CALMS DOWN SOON, SO TEMPTED TO STAY ON WHAT I AM TAKING FOR A BIT LONGER AND MAYBE THINGS WILL CALM DOWN. WOULD LIKE NOT TO TAKE ANYTHING, BUT SEEMS LIKE WITH ALL THE AN ISSUES AND LIFE PROBLEMS IT MIGHT BE HARD. ANYWAY THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE. BB
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Know the "on the edge" feeling all too well. Have also been a little "short" with my kids lately. I'm attributing it to fatigue; am now about 8 weeks postop and while I was fairly energetic when I returned to work full-time a couple of weeks ago, I'm finding that the last few days I'm exhausted. I think some of my tiredness is due to getting back to my normal life - mowing the lawn (quite a dizzying experience that I didn't anticipate), driving more (rather than being driven), doing household chores that were being down for me (laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc.) I'm trying to get more sleep, but haven't been too successful. Hoping that this too shall pass ;D
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I lose my patience with folks (mostly my kids) when I become fatigued. I'm a bit quicker and sharper to boot...
Dan
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Me too.
But, as i get further along in my AN journey, I find I am getting "used" to myself and my limitations and it is getting easier, and I feel less crabby and on edge.
Denise
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Hi Cat,
Rather than on edge I find that occasionally I get up in the morning and feel like I can't cope with anything and get very anxious. I feel deaf, inadequate, and a little desparate because my brain won't work! The tinitus kicks up a knotch and I start to get way off balance as well as the nagging metalic taste increasing.
As the snowball rolls down the hill a little voice in my head reminds me that the tumor could come back, and I have to go in for an MRI in december, and I don't want to do those MRI's ANY MORE!!!!!
But then I have really good days too. We just have to allow ourself to be human. Some of us get anxious, some get angry. This whole journey carries alot of stress with it. I hate those bad days!
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Wow! I honestly didn't know this was a common factor. I can so relate! I can't handle it some days. I snap at the smallest things sometimes. Although at the time of snapping, it seemed important. :( Frankly, I'm tired of feeling impatient and anxious. I'm also tired of not thinking clearly. I'm sorry that we are all going through this, but it's nice to know that we're not alone.
Hugs
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Hi Catflower--I had microsurgery for 1 cm rt AN in 2001--unfortunately for me residual was left and it's continuing to grow so I'm having LINAC at Mass Gen (Boston MA) starting Sept 10 --but I wanted to let you know that the surgical approach (retrosigmoid) I had involved moving my brain over to get at the area and I am fortunate not to have any cognitive problems HOWEVER I can't deal with stress. Just about the time I was diagnosed I had reached a burned-out stage in career so was ready to do something less stressful anyway... I would feel overwhelmed and get neck tightness.. Now have a job I love (little stress) but now if I feel any "deadline" with my work I tighten up in my chest (anxiety--not heart problems) so the way stress hits me is different now. I have noticed also that I seem to think faster than I can write and my handwriting is sloppy (don't know if there is any correlation there)... But I do know that emotionally I react stronger in a stressful situation than I did before... and will never work in a stressful, deadline oriented careeer again!!! Regards, Mary form MA ???
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Have to say I have been very edgy to, but with time it has eased up a bit. My family helps keep me in check. My thing is driving or my 4 year old. I feel bad afterwards and my 4 year old is looking at me like HUH. :(
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Hey Girls, It sounds like some additional symptoms of the magic change over to me. In addition to AN post treatment depression are you going into and through peri menopause? This time between 49 and 56 threw me for a huge loop. Thank goodness I got through all of that before my AN showed up. I look back and say I am glad I got off the HRT but at the time it saved my kids, and husband from the iron skillet! :D
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There's no hormonal issues for me. I had a hysterectomy 18 years ago. I wish it was hormonal because there's HRT.
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I think all of us carry a little Post Traumatic Stress from the ordeal of having an AN. My brother is a PTSD Vietnam Vet on total disability due to it and I'm a hurricane survivor/refugee so I'm pretty familiar with the symptoms. A google search will give you a good overview of symptoms/treatment.
Feeling like the other shoe is about to drop is a good indicator. The best treatments I've found are anti-depressant meds, exercise, and trying not to think too much by keeping my hands busy--like a craft or artwork or pounding the keys on this discussion forum!
Capt Deb 8)
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Capt Deb,
I like that post tramtic stress syndrome. It really does sum things up. People who have had heart attacks, the big C word, brokens limbs (been there 2 yrs ago) anything that changes their lives abruptly and drastically suffer from ptss. AN people included.
Anne Marie
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I agree with Capt Deb also. No hormonal issues for me either. Am only 45, but went through menopause at 32 (lucky me) ;D
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For me it's like a pattern: get up feel great (mostly), go through the day and start feeling a bit tired, as the day goes on, so does the edginess. By the time mid afternoon arrives I can flip for any reason. If one adds stress to that, it can make for a lethal mixture. I'm still learning to control it... it's haaaaard at times! Then oother times it comes in real handy, having a bit of a wobbler! :) Thing is, I was NEVER like that before, so it must have something to do with the AN and treatment and PTSS. Can't blame the menopause either! :) Oh, one way to lessen my late afternoon flip is to have a nap; a rest seems to numb my brain sufficiently to calm it down again.
Ciao, Lorenzo
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Lorenzo -
glad to hear it's not menopause in your case either LOL
I think you're correct about the tiredness, followed by the stress, being the trigger. I've certainly noticed that in my case.
Good to know naps help. I'm having a difficult time sleeping during the night, but maybe if I can conquer that problem, my edginess will improve.
Jan
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Hey, I know there are many people who have times that they act the way you describe that don't have AN connected problems. Stress gets to everyone and some handle it better. My daugterinlaw has chrons and she really snaps sometimes.
But to your question about xanex. My ear doctor said it would help with tinnitus so he put me on it a couple of years ago. .5mg twice a day. I do think it helps a little and it calms the nerves a little too. I tried coming off of it a couple of times and I could tell the difference. I was still working when I tried coming off because I felt like I was too dependent on it but the plant doctor did some good explaining to me about drugs and addictive personalities and recognizing that I have to live with the problems connected with this AN and the GK treatment that I chose. I have retired recently and I miss the plant doc, he actually took up a lot of time with me trying to help me understand things.
One good thing about xanex is that it's very cheap.
I have found that I do better overall when I get more rest and keep my stress level down. Of course sometimes things happen to increase stress that we have little control over.
Hang in there and keep giving it you best effort.
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Being tired or stressed sets me off... and unfortunately my family catch the brunt of it ... My surgeon warned
me that after the "it's over " relief right after surgery ,depression and anger can set in because although the
tumor is gone you are not over it ... you are just in a new phase of treatment and often a phase that
is worse than when the tumor was still in your head...
also called it PTSS and equated it to someone getting over a stroke in many patients...
The Nortriptyline prescribed at bedtime to keep me asleep has added benefits for me... it is an anti-depressant
and is also used in migraine prevention so I have been less edgy since taking it and have been able to get off
the toprol
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Hi--
I hear ya (with one ear, ha?!) I was so edgy post second surg, but as a therapy student getting therapy, meds, etc I've really had to ask myself "Is this an anger phase? Is it steroids? etc. SO frustrating when it can indeed be a multiple of things.... I was in a car accident (not my fault, whew!) and had diving phobia as it is, let alone more from the accident. Lexapro and ativan help lots. Cymbalta did nothing for me... For now. But put me on steroids and the Incredible Hulk sings Green out of my eyes! :) I am reminded of my folks w MS, (I work as a music therapist) who have such unpredictable symptoms..... It's been 7 mos post surg, starting to get 'zaps' and twinges, which give me hope and take the edge off a little. I am 29, had a 3.5 cm forming a "C" in my brain stem. Must rememeber the positives. Best to you.
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I was always somewhat impatient, even before my diagnosis and surgery/radiation. The AN experience didn't improve that trait. My angelic wife tells me that I was almost insufferable in the weeks immediately following my discharge from the hospital. She was actually concerned that I had undergone a (negative) personality change due to the AN surgery. My 'crabby' attitude and hyper-impatience eventually subsided and I'm back to normal, today, 14 months later. I'm not totally 'mellow' but not as quick to snap at any little thing, either. I'm also still married. ;)
I never considered taking medication to control my moods but I can't say the medications aren't effective, as many folks have found great relief in them, especially where depression is a factor. I try to maintain a positive attitude, which really helps me keep a balance. Sure, things annoy me and I can flare up at minor inconveniences, as I always did, but I've trained myself to let petty things go and to drop my anger over things that I can't change or that anger can't change.
Jim