General Category > AN Issues
Do you ever "forget" you have an AN?
Sue:
Okay, I'll start a topic. So it's been since the fall of '04 since I knew I had something wrong, and March of '06 when I found out that it was an acoustic neuroma. I had my GK, and I'm trying to get on with my life - PAND (post AN diagnosis).
I'm probably going to answer my own question because maybe this depends on the residual symptoms that one has to live with....but has any of you actually gone through the day without thinking of your AN? I was at Costco the other day and I went in, my TEEEEEEEEEEE* keeping me company, the facial numbness bothering me, especially around my eye, the oddball taste in my mouth, my tongue slightly "scalded" on the AN side, the slightly "off kilter", "out of body", "un-focused" mental junk going on and I thought...."Well, I suppose I'm the only one in here who has an AN!" And not in that "aren't I special" way, either. I go to the mall, and think the same thing. I'm driving along thinking about regular things then the symptoms that tag along with me where ever I go, bubble to the top of my consciousness and say "Hey! Here we are! Don't forget about us!" And I want to throw the whole darn bunch of them out the window and run over them a couple dozen times. Perhaps the hardest part of this whole thing, for me, is learning to live with all of these "monkeys" that are my constant reminders that I have a dying tumor in my head. Of course, then I feel guilty because I don't have terrible things going on...no head splitting headaches, no facial paralysis. But we've discussed this before...even though this isn't the worse thing that can happen (whatever IT is), it may be the worst that has happened to you (so far!). So, I'm dealing with the worst thing that has happened to me so far with my AN and I'd like to take a vacation from those critters that keep following me around.
So...a little bit of venting and a little bit of a question. How do you all push whatever symptoms you have down and out of the way....What's the best MIND OVER MATTER techniques?
Sue in VancouverUSA
* My aunt and I were out in the country awhile back and she said...Oh it's so quiet and peaceful. I said, Yes, I suppose it is. TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. >:(
Boppie:
Okay, Sue, I have a large mass of blood vessels inside my liver that I have known about for 12 years. I go for nuclear scans and ultrasound to "watch" this thing. It is a hemangioma. I've not submitted to a biopsy. It is just there. If it grows I could need some very serious treatment. I learned to live with this liver tumor. And I have learned to live with the post op residuals of Translab.
I feel most able to forget myself when I am busy with some other person's needs. I guess this is called fulfilling my life task. Now, I am dealing with recent news of another aging issue. A few more visits to the doctor and more flowers to tend. Life goes on and the birds keep on singing. Yes, I am able to forget my AN. I have learned how to let go of negatives and tell others about the positives. It happens. God Bless!
ppearl214:
Hi Sue,
Well, I think you know me well enough... how could I not chime in on this one? Great question....
For me.....as Boppie notes, I try to keep busy and do for others... sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don't.... but, the more I keep busy, the more I tend to "forget" about my AN (and other medical) issues.
As many of you know my family medical history (as well as my own medical history), life is too short... and I take my AN (and other medical) reminders as it helps to keep my spiritual side "in check". So, when I have those times that symptoms decide to crop up (more often than not), I take them as a reminder of the road I travel, that I can conquer it and yes, I even "forget" about it from time to time as life holds my attention in other means that allows me to forge forward.
Yes, I OD'd on coffee today... sorry if any of that didn't make sense.
Infamous huggles to you all!
Phyl
(P.S. Boppie, I had a liver hemingioma diagnosis last year... like you, "watch and wait".... we're not just AN twins!)
mema:
I have dealt with Barrettes Esphagues for years. It is a very serious pre-cancer to Esphagueas cancer. I've been on medicine for it and endoscopies to check it. I don't think about it at all, only when I have a painfull attack. But the AN thing is always on my mind. And I think its got alot to do with the symptoms that never go away. And because we all seem to have multiple symptoms is a reason to. I hope the day comes maybe after a few years of MRI's under my belt that it too will be in the back of my mind.
mema
Boppie:
Phyl, how strange that we have the same boogers in our livers. I have been told we share this tumor with 20% of the population. Discovery is usually accidental. Mine has shrunk a bit. Doc says it is Estrogen related. At least age brings something good, in the shrinkage department, I mean. ;D
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