Post-Treatment > Cognitive/Emotional Issues

today is my AN anniversary.

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cate4Him:
I guess I am feeling down. I ran out of eye tape last night, sleep was minimal and miserable with my eye open all night. So today, there I was on the anniversary of my surgery stocking up on necessities for the aftermath of my Acoustic Neuroma. I am 9 years post-op and there seems to be no hope for improvement. After my surgery "they " told me that my facial nerve would repair. Daily, I anticipated the return of my face, my smile, my blink, my expression of who I am. Six days, then six weeks… then six months turned into six years…after the first few years I lost hope. That was painful.  Now, it is how it is. I am not angry or depressed. Most of the time I forget my face is paralyzed. I have adjusted emotionally. However, I am single, so…my hopes are diluted to ever finding someone who could find me attractive. Seldom does my face convey my true emotion. I was a very animated person before paralysis. Now I just look deranged. Hey, it can’t steal my joy.  I just know that when I get to Heaven I will be grateful to have had this experience. And I’ll be smiling…really BIG!!!! I am always amazed how sharing feelings brings clarity…it is the product of release. An essential part of going forward. Thanks for listening. cate

saralynn143:
Hi Cate, we all understand your feelings. They are perfectly normal. Do you live anywhere near a facial nerve center? I know there aren't a whole lot of them. I am fortunate to live within commuting distance of the one in St. Louis.

There are surgical options. The easiest is to put a weight in your eyelid to help ikeep it closed at night. There are also surgeries to make your appearance more normal.

Hang in there. You seem very centered in your faith.

I have to go rouse my kids now, but I'll write more later. Take care and God bless your day.

Sara

mimoore:
Big cyber hug for you Cate.
As I read your post I so felt for you. i understand the feelings you are experiencing, i woke up with facial paraylsis and was devasted. I was prepared to lose my hearing but not my face.
I am so glad you found us. Others will chime in that have experienced permanent facial paralysis (mine has stated to improve) and the options that you have, even after this much time.
You seem to have such a great attitude. i admire that.
We are a team and we are here for each other - through good times and bad.
M  ;D

nancyann:
Hi there Cate:  It's nice to meet you.   I have right sided facial paralysis also.  I use an adhesive eye patch every night, it's called NITEYE dry eye moisture chamber - I'm at work now so I don't have the tel. # but if you're interested I can get the # when I get home(they're a bit pricey but worth it).  I also had the T3 procedure (Temporalis Tendon Transfer) - you can see my before/after pictures if you click on Facial Issues, then go to page 8, scroll down about half way to topic Post Temporalis Tendon Transfer, then go to page 2.   I went 1 1/2 years before having the T3 surgery, it's the best thing I ever did. 
Always good thoughts,   Nancy

Patti:
cate--i am 8 years post-op with all the same issues.  how can you not feel bad about it with the constant eye issues, eating issues, balance issues, hearing issues, etc.?  this is the place where you will get understanding.  i don't contribute often because i am afraid to make the newly diagnosed more nervous.  they should have a site that only old-timers can access and we can all commiserate!  patti

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