ANA Discussion Forum
AN Community => AN Community => Topic started by: kenneth_k on June 16, 2009, 01:05:26 pm
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Hello everyone.
I was at a meeting today and someone told a joke at my expense. Many laughed, and I said I didn't hear the joke. I was told I wasn't supposed to hear it.
Ouch!!! This SSD thing was suddenly overwhelming.
Maybe I'm also a bit sensitive. In two weeks I'm going to have my balance tested. If I flunk, my carreer as a solider is on hold. No more promotions because I'm not suitable for combat operations. If it's only the hearing, then I might be able to deploy into low risk operations and still have some sort of a carreer.
Well, a cyberhug would come in handy. My wife is sweet and tried to make me see the humour in it all, but sometimes she just doesn't understand. Who can blame her.
Best regards, Kenneth
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Cyberhugs on the way. My son is a soldier and I know what it means to have your career in question. It is devestating to think about. And totally out of your control.
That is horrible that someone would tell a joke at your expense. It's hard enough to deal with this stuff and find the positive and humorous without that. Just know that we are all out here and we do know how you feel. I know what you mean about spouses. Mine is the greatest. He is so sweet and really tries to understand and never complains but. . . .he just doesn't understand. . .and in ways I'm so glad. I for sure woudn't wish this on him. We know that things could always be worse and we have much to be thankful for but some days are just hard. Hang in there.
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Kenneth .....
A big Cyberhug to you!! Only those of us who have walked in your shoes can possibly know the deep hurt when someone takes any of our issues lightly! Keep your head up and know that they are the ones with major issues ..... of lack of sensitivity!
I wish you the best on your balance test. Try doing some of the vestibular exercises on a regular basis between now and then ..... it really does help! There are many more out there on the web, but here is one link: http://www.goldbaum.net/balance/Vestibular_Exercises.html
Clarice
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Cyber hugs from Massachusetts too! They say children can be cruel…well I say adults are the cruelest. They are supposed to know better! >:(
I also work with a couple of people who like to make fun of others with disabilities. Long before I had my AN, I would hear them making fun of a guy who had hearing problems... right to his face too! I told them they were jerks, but that didn’t stop them. I have no illusions that they won’t do the same to me when I go back. Needless to say my opinion of them is not good, but the way I look at it is, they have a much bigger problem than I do!!
Chin up!! We’re in this together!
Scarlett
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Kenneth:
A manly cyberhug to you - and my empathy on learning that some fool made a 'hearing joke' at your expense - and others found that amusing - and laughed. How stupid and insensitive. Where are the 'PC Police' when you need them? ;)
Like many others, I wish you great success on your balance test. Whatever happens, don't allow circumstances to control your life - or your attitude - for too long.
Jim
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I can't say what I really think because I would probably have the AN police on me! ;) Even though I did retain a lot of my hearing in my AN ear, I went for about 2 months with it full of fluid and no hearing in it so I can relate.
They're just jerks. Sending good thoughts and the cyberhug your way. Having your career be on the line is SO STRESSFUL. Hang in there, do your exercises and think positive.
Cathy
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Kenneth,
I can relate...I was active duty Air Force when my AN was found...and I worked on helicopters. I had 18 years in and I thought that I might get forced out...they actually started a medical board on me but since my AN didn't cause further damage (after GK treatment) they stopped my medical board. I do have reduced hearing in my left ear and also have a HUGE balance loss in that ear, but the other side soon compensated. I really only notice it when I'm really tired or if I run on a tread mill.
I actually retired at 23 years, 7 months...and so many days :) so there is hope! As for the joke...well you know how it is in the military...there's stupidity in numbers!! I'd suggest talking to the originator of the joke off line. I worked with the Army in a joint service assignment for almost 9 years...
If you'd like to email me we can chat away from the board...I'm going on vacation and won't be back until Sunday...
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I'll cyberhold them while you cyberhit them. The fact that you still want to serve while dealing with the issues that surround your AN proves your more of a man than the idiot that makes jokes about people that can't hear them. Sounds like the bullies I used to make apologize to the kids they had just been picking on. There is a line between a harmless and a hurtfull joke...some folks just don't get it. When it goes too far...they need to be made to understand....in one way or another.
BTW...thanks for your service.
Bob
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Kenneth -
I don't think you're being oversensitive at all. I think your "buddies" were being very unsensitve and down-right rude :o
Being SSD is somewhat akin to being disabled, which makes me wonder if they'd make fun of a blind person just because that person couldn't see them doing it.
I like Bob's idea - so if you need additional help cyberholding your "buddies", let me know.
Hugs to you,
Jan
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Pretty lame. :P
I get a little grief from my co-worker, who occasionally likes to mouth words at me without making a sound. It is done in good fun, but it is not exactly hilarious.
I do hope they don't ding you for a balance issue. Having your AN change your career plans for you is not supposed to be part of the package.
So, a cyber-raspberry for the meeting members, and a cyber-hug for you.
Steve
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I'm not a human resource director, but I play one on internet forums.
Excuse me, isn't this behavior considered workplace harassment?
I'm happy to send you some cyber support, Kenneth, but what I really want to do is knock some heads together.
And give a knuckle sandwich to your ever-so-clever co-worker, Steve.
I thought we all left the third grade a while back.
Sara
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Thank you very much guys, you are the best ;)
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I've been in your shoes Kenneth. So sorry it has happened to you. I agree with Sara, it workplace harassment.
Lots of hugs from Ontario Canada,
Anne Marie
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Hi Kenneth,
Wow, i read that and (like Bob said) wanted to give them a cyber beating up!
I have an autistic 19 yr old daughter, and, throughout the years, she's done some pretty embarrassing things in public (I love her to death... I'm not trying to be negative about her). I know she does get made fun of at times, and that hurts (probably me much more than her). But for a few that do make fun, there are many more who are understanding, and helpful, and supportive, etc etc. SO, on the one hand, I am mad at the jerks who would do this to you, but I'll bet there are many, many more who respect you, admire you and think you've come through a lot - plus also very much appreciate what you do by serving in the military. I do hope th
at all is well with your test and career - I hope that all works out for you. Thank you for sharing with us.
Keri
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There is a line between a harmless and a hurtfull joke...some folks just don't get it. When it goes too far...they need to be made to understand....in one way or another.
BTW...thanks for your service. Bob
Kenneth, Here's another cyberhug!
So sorry those around you have to be so insensitive.
GM mentioned another great line 'stupidity in numbers!'
Sounds like some of your coworkers have some things to learn.
I hope your day is going well and your balance test is successful.
I believe you will meet ALL of the challenges in your career - you are WAY ahead of those other folks! ;)
Take care and THANK YOU, TOO, for your service. We appreciate it VERY MUCH.
Sue
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Hi Kenneth,
Sorry to hear about what you are going through at work. You are right, people do not understand the impact and the day to day life of living with an AN and the symptoms and damages it causes such as affecting your work. I think a lot of people experience the odd comment at work. I have been fortunate in a way. I work with Long Term Disability Claims and myself and my co-workers understand different disabilities and their impact and therefore, I find they have been a little compasionate even though one co-worker mentioned to me that she doesn't know how I can go on everyday knowing that I have something like this and waiting for treatment. You are not being oversensitive at all but I wouldn't lose sleep over it. Whichever way it works out at work, "it will all turn out for the best". This was one of my father's favourite lines. Good luck.
Vivian
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Kenneth,
Sending you a huge cyberhug (((((((())))))))))))
Your buddies are a bunch of insensitive ****s. I hope your balance is improved enough to keep you where you want to be, it's bad enough having a hearing problem. I understand how devastating it can be to have your career derailed by a disability. I was an EMT and in training to become a paramedic when I was in my 20s. My knee problems (yes I had them even then) weren't nearly as bad as they are today but bad enough to end that career path. Although I was strong, I just couldn't handle a lot of stairs while carrying patients who might weigh 200+ in a stair chair down one or more flights of stairs which was part of the job.
As for beiing made fun of for your hearing disability, my husband of all people sometimes makes fun of me. I know he thinks he's being funny, but sometimes he's not. It seems to be his way of dealing with his frustration of my not hearing him, but I wish he'd come up with another way. Hang in there.
Wendy
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A BIG HUG to you....Get your legs stronger. Do as many squats, leg lifts, explosive activities for your legs. My balance was minimal due in part I believe to my strong legs. We appreciate and respect our soldiers! God bless you and even though we want to smack folks for being ugly to us about our hearing loss, we have to have a sense of humor. We will keep you in our prayers.
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I have a few people who were constantly talking very slow and loud to me with as few words as they could get
by with using ... I , in a bad moment of frustration at them acting like I not only couldn't hear well , but couldn't
understand big words , resorted to their mentality and talked loud and slow to them ...
I'm Sorry . I didn't know you were mentally challenged .
they stopped their behavior ...
hope balance tests go well ...sending hugs
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A big cyberhug from Ohio comin' at you! I"m sorry that happened and I understand how you feel. People can be really insensitive. I've always tried to approach life's challenges with humor and it has reallly helped me throughout my life...but sometimes, you're just not able to laugh and that is tough when others just don't get it. I do think that so many people just don't know how to handle sensitive issues and use humor (albeit inappropriate) to get past it (my husband and his family are in this group!).
I hope things work out for you professionally.
...and you're not being overly sensitive at all...just human.
Kathy
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Hello everyone.
I had my balance tested at the Naval- and Aeromedical center in Copenhagen.
It wasn't all that bad. No nystagmus but poor reflexes, which explaines my clumsiness when I play soccer with the kids and why my vision gets blurry when running. At least I'm running straight and fast now ;) The doctor actually thought I have recovered quite well.
The result will be put forward to the military medical board, and I guess I will know the verdict sometime this fall. I have decided not to worry to much, since basically its out of my hands.
I will concentrate on enjoying my summervacation in the UK. I don't have the guts to take our car to London. I remember the Chevy Chase movie, National Lampoon's European Vacation.
Have a happy summer whereever you are.
Kenneth
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I hope you enjoy your vacation in the UK. Which places are you planning on visiting?
I hope you have good weather.
Blessings
Ley
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Hey Kenneth-
Cyber hugs from NJ! And, how about a cyber-pop-in-the-nose for those guys, too? Keeping fingers crossed for your balance test.
Debbi
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Kenneth ....
Good news on the balance test ..... now we will just pray the military medical board agrees that you will continue to improve and be able to resume your career.
Keep us posted on what happens ..... and I am envious of your vacationing in the UK ..... have fond memories of doing that several years ago when our daughter lived in Manchester.
Clarice