Thanks for sharing that with me, I was beginning to think it was just me, also I guess that at the back of mind is the worry of any re growth, I know its rare but when you know you have a bit of tumour still left in there, well, it does leave you wondering whatâ€™s happening inside your head, after all the only time you get to see it is when you have a scan, (which funnily enough I recieved an appointment for yesterday, its due on 17th March) but lets face it if you have a lump anywhere on your body you can watch it and see if it changes, we just can't do that, so your just left hoping, wishing, praying that everything is ok.
I am at the specialists on Thursday so I will make sure I tell them everything, My aches and pains, my anxiety and my heightened emotions which have gradually been getting worse for the last month or so, I donâ€™t know if Iâ€™m slightly depressed or just emotional, Iâ€™ve never suffered with any sort of depression before so to be honest I donâ€™t really know how that feels, I just know one minute Iâ€™m up, up, up and the next Iâ€™m down, down, down. In fact today I shouted at my daughter for creasing her clothes that I had only just ironed, I know that doesnâ€™t sound to strange but my behaviour was, I took the school shirt and shouted â€œwhy do I bother, lets just crumple it up some more shall weâ€? and with that I screwed it up and threw it on the floor â€œthereâ€? I said â€œthatâ€™s much better now, isnâ€™t itâ€? I walked away in tears but I was laughing at how ridiculous it seemed and how I got so worked up over something so trivial, my husband saw me crying and laughing uncontrollably and asked me firstly if I was alright and secondly was I loosing the plot, which says it all really.
I now realise that I should be getting this sorted out and soon, I shall mention everything that has been said regarding these posts and hopefully I will soon be n.o.r.m.a.l