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Five Long Years - A Poem

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G_Man:
I haven't posted in quite a while.  Today is 5 years since my initial diagnosis in 2009.  Hitting this milestone resulted in my writing this poem which I offer at this time.  It's really directed at those outside our "New Normal" world.  It's just an expression of how I'm feeling now.  You probably won't agree with most of it but I offer it as is.  I'm not much of a poet but I get an occasional itch driving me to express myself.

Five Long Years - A Poem by G_Man

Today it's 5 years since I was told.
The news was bad as well as bold.
It wasn't the worse fate.
But the situation wasn't great.
I heard a new term, Watch and Wait.
I was urged to accept the new normal.
And at times it's pretty awful.
The loud pitched scream and guarded gait.
But to others I'm walking strait.
Everything they said was true,
 the dizziness, the forgetfulness, the headaches too.
It's a hidden situation to YOU, YOU and YOU TOO.
So every year, it comes around.
I go to that place, lie down to the pounding, awful sounds.
I make the appointments and do the deed.
And pray to God that it's all I'll need.
And hope for another year or more.
That I don't fall on to the floor.
The group I'm with, they know the score.
They've been there and seen it all before.
At times I feel I can take no more. 
Then my boat sails back into shore.
For a moment or two I look for an escape door.
Then it’s back to the same old chore.
I hope YOU never know this score.
I can't explain it anymore.

bethtretrault:
 :)It is real and reflective of how I feel too. Poems express feelings and your poem confirms I am not alone.  Thank-you.

G_Man:
Thanks Beth and welcome to ANA. 
I'm lucky to have an excellent local support group here in N.Y.C. 
If you search for my ID you will find my other poem which you might enjoy as well.  I wrote it a number of years ago.

MG:
G-Man,
Thanks for the poem. You expressed the W&W quite well. I have only been on this train ride for one year, and sometimes I just want to get off and get rid of it but then I change my mind and get back on the train and hope and pray that the next year will not show any growth. So I wish you the best and others who are on W&W!

MG

G_Man:
Thanks MG.  What I find helps is utilizing a local support group if you have one in your area.  You can learn a lot from the other group members and the guest speakers they bring in to the meetings. 
And of course you know the value of the rest of the organization, pamphlets, forums, willing to talk list, etc..
Hang in there.
Glen

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