While those going through surgery have real concerns about their outcome and future, those who children and spouse/partners have very similar concerns as to how their lives will change. The power of prayer, meditation or whatever works for you is so important in the healing process.
Support for AN patients is critical and this website helps. Children and partners of AN patients also need support. Whether it be from this site or participation in local ANA support groups, its important that the challenges before you be discussed in the open and that others, in the same situation, have the opportunity to help families through the AN experience.
Don't keep the children out of the process. There are many good people - Drs, social workers, psychologists that can help relieve the stress on children of all ages and families going through this experience.